Quotes Of The Week For Feb. 4, 2018
seth-meyers-this-is-pups-quote
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
"Over three million people watched Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl on Sunday, followed by the tragic season finale of This Is Pups."
this-is-us-complaining-with-guitar-quote
THIS IS US
"This is like complaining with a guitar, Kate. This isn't music."
Jack (Milo Ventimiglia) shares his first impression of Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill
greys-anatomy-sex-vampire quote
GREY'S ANATOMY
"So, the intern I'm sleeping with is everywhere. We have a no-daylight rule, but he keeps making faces at me, like 'I've seen you naked' faces, and I can't do anything about it, because he has, so I'm just, like, hiding from him by day and then unhiding at night. I'm like a sex vampire."
April (Sarah Drew), explaining to Arizona the downside of her fling with Vik
samantha-bee-kendall-jenner-pepsi-quote
FULL FRONTAL WITH SAMANTHA BEE
"Never thought I'd be nostalgic for Kendall [Jenner]'s Pepsi commercial."
Bee weighs in on the controversial Ram Trucks Super Bowl ad that made use of a Martin Luther King Jr. sermon
jane-the-virgin-move-your-head-quote
JANE THE VIRGIN
"Move your head!"
Our narrator (Anthony Mendez) gets upset with Jane for blocking a sext from Rafael
the-x-files-constipation-quote
THE X-FILES
"You know, it occurs to me, Mulder, that even after all these years we know precious little about Walter Sergei Skinner beyond the professional."
"It appears he may suffer from moderate to severe constipation."
Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Mulder (David Duchovny) don't find much — apart from some giant tubs of dietary fiber — while searching their boss' apartment
scorpion-wrong-triangles-quote
SCORPION
"Hey, Jesse — after we study right triangles, we should take a look at wrong triangles. OK?"
"Cool, dude."
Ralph (Riley B. Smith) shows Walter that Patty's crush isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer
seth-meyers-valentines-day-burger-quote
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS (Bonus Quote!)
"A Boston restaurant is offering customers a special Valentine's Day burger that comes with an engagement ring on the side for $3,000. The burger will be well-done and the 'yes' will be rare."
lucifer-game-of-thrones-quote
LUCIFER
"It's boring. I've been everywhere there is to go. Tried every kind of food. Sex. Music. Nothing surprises me anymore."
"Have you tried Game of Thrones?"
The immortal life ain't so grand, Cain (Tom Welling) tells Amenadiel (D.B. Woodside)
black-lightning-snitches-get-what-quote
BLACK LIGHTNING
"Snitches get what?"
A jolt from Black Lightning (Cress Williams) is far worse than stitches
black-lightning-earth-wind-fire-quote
BLACK LIGHTNING (Bonus Quote!)
"The body came out of the river where Black Lightning fell. I thought it was him!"
"What do you mean you 'thought'? Was he dressed like, Earth, Wind & Fire?"
"What?"
"Was the body dressed like Maurice White?"
Tobias (Marvin Jones III) grills the medical examiner about Black Lightning's apparent "resurrection"
the-good-doctor-autistic-one-quote
THE GOOD DOCTOR
"Are you the autistic one?"
Dr. Reznick (Fiona Gubelmann) makes a bad first impression when introducing herself to Jared
arrow-out-of-town-quote
ARROW
"City is about to become crater. You want to put me in prison? Fine. Just out of town, please."
With Cayden James' thermobaric bomb about to blow, Anatoly (David Nykl) invites Oliver to lock him up. (How is A.R.G.U.S.' Lian Yu prison this time of year?)
supernatural-leave-in-conditioner-quote
SUPERNATURAL
"Your hair, Sam, it's magnificent. Is that a leave-in conditioner you have there?"
Jokes about Sam's lustrous locks, especially as delivered by Lucifer (Mark Pellegrino), never get old
the-magicians-dickwads-quote
THE MAGICIANS
"At castle, getting married."
"Does that sound like Margo to you?"
"Need help now, d—kwads."
"Definitely Bambi."
It takes a minute, but Eliot (Hale Appleman) is eventually convinced that it was Margo who sent along the bunny's message of distress
the-middle-charlie-brown-quote
THE MIDDLE
"I'm beginning to feel like this literary character I've recently discovered. You see, there's this boy with a very round head, and he has a dog that sleeps on top of his doghouse. Apparently, he was a World War I fighter pilot. If you can suspend disbelief, it all works."
Brick (Atticus Shaffer) somehow went his entire childhood without discovering Charlie Brown
the-middle-cake-meat-quote
THE MIDDLE (Bonus Quote!)
"That meat over there could be cake. I'm only warning you because, even though cake is delicious, it's a weird sensation if you're expecting meat."
Frankie (Patricia Heaton) introduces the main course/possible dessert before the Hecks dig into frozen leftovers