Pretty Little Liars Recap: Blood Brother

Pretty Little Liars Spoilers

Show of hands: Who thought it was a good idea to host a blood drive in Rosewood? … Oh, no one? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Aria’s brother Mike — who’s totally proving my theory about the correlation between hotness and evil…ness — took full advantage of the poorly planned event on Tuesday’s Pretty Little Liars, snatching some cookies the girls’ blood donations and handing them off to Alison’s “kidnapper” Cyrus.

Why, you ask? Well, unless this is the first time you’ve watched this show — in which case I suggest you drop out of school or quit your job, whatever you have to do to catch up — you know Rosewood is more of an ask-questions-first-answer-questions-never kind of town. And this latest situation, which I’ll call Mike-gate for now, is no exception.

Of course, the true crime in this week’s episode was that Andrew remained fully clothed, despite volunteering to help Aria study. I mean, I know he wrote the book on strip-studying, but did he really have to change the rules in the middle of the game? I’m crying foul.

Anyway, here’s what the other Liars were up to this week…

Pretty Little Liars SpoilersEMILY | Miranda Rae Mayo wasn’t kidding when she told TVLine that Talia was hoarding a massive secret from Emily. Not only is she lying about her name — I knew she wasn’t a Sandoval — but she’s also married! To a dude! Fortunately for her, Emily is a kind soul with an endless capacity for forgiveness, so after learning that Talia’s husband knows she’s a lesbian and that she’s only with him because they’re life-long besties, Emily decided to say “Screw it” and give her a second chance. (Of course, it’s always possible Talia is lying about that, too! Dun, dun, dun…)

SPENCER | Did anyone notice Toby was M.I.A. from this week’s episode? Because Spencer sure didn’t. She spent the first half of the hour flirting with college-dropout Jonny Raymond while she helped him paint a mural at Hollis, then spent the second half of the hour freaking out because — wait for it — he lied about being asked to paint it. (A liar? On this show? Well, I never!) In the end, much like Emily, Spencer decided to give Jonny a second chance; he might have risked getting her arrested again, but he also showed her a good time, which we all know she hasn’t had in quite a while. Also, they’re kind of even since she ate all his macaroni and cheese, an unpardonable sin in my apartment some cultures.

Pretty Little Liars SpoilersHANNA | Things weren’t much better in the Marin household this week. Not only is it looking like Ashley is back on the market — she accepted Ted’s proposal, but also told him about Jason, and it’s unlikely that he’ll take her back — but Hanna is resorting to extremes to pay for college. Seriously, a beauty pageant? I have no doubt Hanna could win, assuming “A” doesn’t intervene, but I’d hate to see her flush a piece of her soul down the toilet like that. Then again, as Papa Marin preached, it all comes down to “dollars and cents.” Hey, she could always ask Alison for a loan from one of her secret bAnk Accounts! (Side note: Did anyone else get “uh-oh” vibes from Ezra’s chat with Hanna? Just saying, they’ve got chemistry.)

All right, PLL fans, it’s your turn to weigh in: What’s the deal with Mike and Alison? Should Emily be giving Talia a second chance? And, seriously, am I the only one who felt the Ezra-Hanna connection? Drop a comment with your thoughts and theories below.