Growing up, my mom always had verrrry strong ideas about wearing white after Labor Day. She did not, however, provide me with any guidance about the protocol for rocking a sheer body stocking with not-entirely-opaque undergarments, an eye-popping look that Shakira sported as she half-sang, half-mouthed her rockin’ new single “Empire” tonight on The Voice‘s Top 12 results telecast.
Perhaps the prayers of easily offended viewers made their way to whatever deity rules the world of reality-competition series. (God, it should be noted, spends the 8:30-9:30 Tuesday hour reading Mindy Project fan fiction. It’s true because I read it in Ask Ausiello.) Or maybe said entity was offended by a talented vocalist making like a RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant and lipsynching for her life. Whatever the case, poor Shaki found two-thirds of her team in terrifying jeopardy before the night was over.
Then again, if there was some kind of cosmic/fashion retribution in play, how come Adam Levine’s team went totally unscathed in the gross, autumnal glow of his vomit-colored ’70s-pattered Hawaiian-esque shirt? (Someone’s clearly fighting against a repeat as People’s “Sexiest Man Alive”!)
Anyhow, tonight’s lively hour featured several solid group numbers — Sisaundra upgraded the awful “Put Some Drive in Your Country” for #TeamBlake, while #TeamAdam’s “Sledgehammer” made me wonder why you never hear Peter Gabriel ditties in competition — but the real purpose was winnowing the Season 6 field from 12 to 10. Let’s see how it all played out:
Saved by America (in chronological order)
Bria Kelly (¿¡her!?)
This Week’s Bottom 3
“Singing for Our Lives!” Performances
T.J. Wilkins: Edwin McCain’s “I’ll Be” — Grade: C | Is there a more played-out song for a reality singing competition than “I’ll Be”? OK, maybe “Against All Odds” and “I Have Nothing,” but T.J.’s total lack of ownership — and wobbly glory note — made his exit a foregone conclusion. Even Coach Usher seemd lukewarm about saving his fella. Yikes.
Dani Moz: Adele’s “Turning Tables” — Grade: B | Maybe Dani needs to be behind the piano to really, truly, madly feeeeel it. Still, her pitch here was rock-solid, and her tone is very pleasing, if not instantly identifiable.
Tess Boyer: Kelly Clarkson’s “Dark Side” — Grade B | Sure, Tess’ power-diva vocals were more on point during Monday’s Bon Jovi cover, but her cool song choice, plugged-in phrasing and enviable control made this the best of the night’s troika of last-chance performances. Combined with a body of work superior to her rivals, and the Instant Save seemed like a no-brainer.
With that in mind, I hauled booty to Twitter and did my part to give Tess another take!
For once, my Twitter tantrum was not entirely in vain.
Instantly Saved by America
And with that, let me turn things over to you. What did you think of Top 12 results night? Did the right people go home? Share your thoughts in the comments!