“Wow! I gotta say — at this stage of the competition, all the results are a shock. And we still have one more act to lose tonight,” exclaimed a breathless Mario Lopez a mere 15 minutes into tonight’s The X Factor Top 6 results telecast.
Typically, the hostbot’s dramatic proclamations carry about as much weight as the sneeze of a freshly hatched baby robin. But in this case, yeah, the episode’s initial elimination was a doozy — enough to send Kelly “The GIF Factor” Rowland into an extended jaw-dropped, eyes-popped frenzy of “Oh no, America ditn’t!” theatrics.
I could stall here and tell you about performances by Emblem3 (“Excruciating!” –TVLine.com) and Little Mix (“A hoot and a holler — I kinda fancy these ladies!”), but instead let’s get right to the results, shall we?
First Act to Go Home (aka the Week’s Lowest Vote-Getter)
Apparently, the judges’ enthusiastic accolades for the teenage vocalist’s covers of “Applause” and “If I Were a Boy” didn’t translate into votes. (My theory: Mentor Demi’s choice of hypersexualized outfits for a singer so young probably made the average U.S. couch potato a wee bit uncomfortable. Also, Ellona’s vocals simply weren’t as on-point as the powers-that-be wanted us to believe.)
“I guess I didn’t give the strongest performance last night,” said the shellshocked contestant, before being hastily ushered from the stage. (Chin up, girl, it shoulda been Rion or Restless Road in your position!)
A little while later, producers cut to the remaining five acts, standing backstage, where chipper moppet Rion revealed her sanguine agenda: “It’s crazy because I love Ellona with all my heart, and it’s sad to see her go. But I also have to think positively, like, now I’m one step closer.”
The deep-voiced one from Restless Road played it much more savvy, offering his love and condolences to his fallen comrade, then shutting his pie hole. After that…more results!
Sent to Safety (“IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER!” — Mario, once more with no feeling)
Alex & Sierra
Singing for Survival
Rion Paige: Miranda Lambert’s “The House That Built Me” — Grade: C- | Holy age-inappropriateness, Batman! Why was a 13-year-old singing from the perspective of a grown-ass woman visiting her childhood home and reflecting on how her youthful experiences shaped her adult outlook? That aside, Rion’s vocal was (as it usually is) hit or miss — with instances of lovely clarity, and also slides off pitch that bordered on wince-inducing. Not her best work.
Carlito Olivero: Usher’s “You Make Me Wanna” — Grade: B- | Also not a stellar vocal, but at least Paulina correctly identified him in her intro, and at least the hard-working Chicago kid worked the stage and embraced the role of conflicted playboy. I heard worse during last month’s AMAs, if I’m being dead honest.
Rion: “I love music, and I’m just here to share my story and share God!”
Carlito: “To God, all the glory, we praise him when we win, we praise him when we lose.” (Side note: How would God feel about Carlito’s video for “Rain“? OK, OK, my casting of the first stone means I’m going directly to hell, without passing go or collecting $200.)
Demi: Votes to send home Carlito
Paulina: Votes to send home Rion
Kelly: Votes to send home Rion
Simon: Votes to send home Rion
Ouch, tough night for Demi! But at least Paulina pronounced Rion’s name correctly, for once. Hey, it’s something.
Your turn! What did you think of X Factor Top 6 results? Who won the US/UK battle: Emblem3 or Little Mix? Sound off down in the comments! And for all my reality TV recaps, news, exclusives and videos, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!Follow @MichaelSlezakTV