Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From Revenge, The Crazy Ones, Castle, Parenthood and More!

Halloween may have come and gone, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be channeling your favorite TV characters by reenacting their best zingers all week long.

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That’s why TVLine offers you its regular Sunday feature, Quotes of the Week, packed with the best one-liners from the small screen over the last seven days.

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This time around, we’ve got a Good Wife courtroom comeback, an eyebrow-raising Parenthood conversation, a bit of Amish-ness courtesy of The Tomorrow People, some meta dialogue from The Crazy Ones and much more. So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add anything we’ve inevitably missed!

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Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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35 Comments
  1. Cornelius says:

    Regina from OUAT had the best quote byfar last week.

  2. Ana Rubio says:

    Loved the ones from Tony (NCIS) and Beckett (Castle) =)

    • Mel says:

      Loved those too. Beckett is starting to match Castle in the zinger department. Also loved DiNozzo telling Borin, “I can’t wait to meet the peg-legged gentleman who woos you.”

      • Rich Abey says:

        “A felonious monk”…totally cracked me up..especially at the zip with which Kate uttered the line!

      • Rich Abey says:

        ‘Castle’ gives out some great quotes every week. Some more zippy zappy quotes this week:
        – “Castle: What are you doing? Beckett: Making stuff up. Just like you do.”
        – Castle: “This is not my idea of going to the chapel with you.”
        – Ryan: “This place, you can get hepatitis just breathing the air.”
        – Ryan again: “You know, there are times I wish she’d stayed in D.C.”

        • DarkDefender says:

          All good ones.. But the felonious monk.. Had that extra kick, because that is normally a Castle line.. And this week Beckett got to say it..

  3. MDEP says:

    That Queenie quote had me cracking up!

  4. I didn’t get what Alicia meant by that “”I see. Not exactly 30 pieces of silver” comment..
    Will someone explain? Thanks :)

  5. DarkDefender says:

    Finally a Castle quote! (Thank you)

    I don’t watch The Crzy Ones (though I h DVR’d to watch the end credit out takes).. Now I wish I had seen that SMG quote.. It is my favorite out of the ones you picked.

    • Rich Abey says:

      Yeah man! ‘Castle’ had some zippy quotes so far this season..literally in every episode.
      The Crazy Ones spout some crazy quotes too. SMG & Robin Williams is a match made in heaven for me!

  6. I Heart Damon Salvatore says:

    Hayley/Rebekah on the Originals are seriously the best thing to happen to television this season.

  7. jenferner8 says:

    I LOVED Hank’s Grimm crack.Both Monroe and Captain Hottness “changed” in order to deal with (hot) Zombie Nick, then the Captain asked Hank if he (Hank) was “ok with this?” Hank: “Man, I wish I could do that”

  8. cjeffery7 says:

    while the vagina shopping line was funny, did anyone else find it extremely misogynistic??

    • Audrey says:

      Sure did.

    • rowan77 says:

      Seriously? Being a tad over-sensitive, aren’t you? It was totally and hilariously in character for Crosby (who is not the least by misogynistic) to say.

      And not for nothing – I am a woman.

      • cjeffery7 says:

        do you seriously not see anything remotely problematic with disparaging something by directly comparing it with female anatomy? i found the punch-line hilarious, as if vagina shopping is a thing, and obviously crosby comes around in the end, but whoever wrote the set-up needs to re-evaluate.

        • rowan77 says:

          You are taking being PC too far. There was nothing wrong with the line. Notice how there has been no uproar about it except for you? Just calm down. The set-up to the laugh line was fine.

      • cjeffery7 says:

        it’s the same as disparaging something by calling it gay.

  9. Evan says:

    My favorite was Queenie from AHS:Coven, that made me lol!!! Also i’m starting to see what Ryan Murphy mean’t by saying this season would be a bit lighter!!

  10. Jackie says:

    Some great quotes this week. But you left out, ‘Why doesn’t my d*** work?’ from MoS. lol. Ironically, several amusing quotes for such an intense episode.

  11. abz says:

    LOL that Crazy Ones quote is really making me want to check the show out. Will do soon. My faves were Regina (OUAT) and Mellie’s quotes. God Regina’s role in each episode needs to seriously be increased. I love every single one of her one-liners. I think my favorite so far this season is still “Fillet the bitch”. I laughed so hard!

  12. Martin says:

    Definitely The Crazy Ones!! – I laughed so hard I actually had to pause the tv to laugh for a bit. SMG is brilliant. I am really surprised by The Crazy Ones, I was most looking forward to Mom out of all the comedies premiering this year (and I do love it), was surprised by how good Brooklyn 99 was but I have to say The Crazy Ones is my favourite comedy this year, surprisingly heartwarming.

  13. James says:

    Is that supposed to ba “hand job”? Do you really need to censor “hand job”?

  14. Chris says:

    Shaw and Root had some surprising chemistry.I kind of wanted them to kiss. My favorite quotes are OUAT and The Crazy Ones

  15. Drew says:

    The Crazy Ones is a really funny show. The only CBS show that I can watch actually. And SMG keeps making Buffy references!

  16. Aprilcot says:

    Loved the David Boreanaz shout out! As soon as she said it I was hoping it would be on this list!

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