Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers from Sleepy Hollow, Mom, The Originals, Scandal and More!

What’s better than watching your favorite TV shows? Nothing, really. But quoting your favorite TV shows in everyday conversation comes pretty close, yes? (Cut to you, huffing, “I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.“)

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That’s why TVLine is launching a new Sunday feature, Quotes of the Week, packed with the best one-liners from the small screen over the last seven days.

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This week we’ve got Sleepy Hollow‘s OnStar connection, Bones‘ salty stress reliever and Mom‘s dark dating viewpoint. So click through the gallery below for our first batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add any zingers we might’ve missed!

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Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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43 Comments
  1. Babybop says:

    My favorite quote from this week was Wade from Hart of Dixie, “Meatball, or a meatball? Because I can’t decide which is worse…” after Lemon told him she was sleeping with Meatball.

  2. Eva_baby says:

    While the Onstar bit on Sleepy Hollow was great, that quote, out of context, isn’t very good and has no impact for people who didn’t watch the show.

    Meanwhile Abbie’s quote “I will reign legal brimstone down on you so hard it will make God jealous.” is a much better quote even out of context.

  3. Good God Lemon says:

    Thank God 30 Rock is over, or you wouldn’t have room for quotes from any other shows.

  4. Sara says:

    Post-op Michael Chiklis

  5. Jen says:

    The best from Witches of East End was “I just died. Sorry my hair isn’t perfect.”

  6. Some great lines from ‘Nashville’ this week:
    1. Juliette Barnes to the excited Avery, when he is holding a Hank Williams guitar: “Are you gonna tune it or breastfeed it?”
    2. Liam to Rayna: “thought you were gonna make my night”. Rayna’s reply: “I already made your afternoon”.

  7. cjeffery7 says:

    Ron Swanson’s face was the best quote from Parks & Rec this week.

  8. bar says:

    MY FRICKIN’ VAGINA’S SWEATING got snubbed REALLY?

  9. c says:

    Joan: “I just spent 3 hours answering questions about whether or not I plan to assassinate the president”

  10. ashley says:

    My favorite quote was from Grey’s Anatomy from drunkin April: “Can I try on your leg?” to drunken Arizona in the supply closet. Loved it!

  11. dreamlife613 says:

    “I really liked watching you do that,” from Felicity in the Arrow premiere, referring to watching Oliver do the salmon ladder.

  12. Bored Now says:

    Caroline: “Damon! Towel! Knock!!!”
    Damon: “Caroline! No one cares! No!”

  13. Austin says:

    Some of the best quotes of the week remind me what shows I have to watch. :)

  14. tara says:

    The Vampire Diaries had really funny lines this week

  15. Sam says:

    Katherine on TVD “I’m the freaking moonstone.”

  16. Aprilcot says:

    You missed the best one, which was the Buffy shout out from the credit outtakes of ‘The Crazy Ones’! I forget the exact quote but when Simon asks Sydney where she learned to “Dukes of Hazzard” like that, her reply? Sunnydale.

  17. DarkDefender says:

    Castle had some great quotes:
    .
    Esposito: (to Castle) “You are Judas’ judas”
    .
    Beckett: “Castle, you are not going to Castle me on this one..”
    .
    Esposito: (to Special Agent McCord) “Not so fast, Clarisse.”
    .
    Castle: (to Beckett) “Allow me to try and corrupt you, a little later at my place.. Where we can finally have some alone time.. And by alone time, I mean you and me, and my mother and Alexis… And.. Pi.”

  18. Jo says:

    Love the concept for this new column, but these quotes were a little meh. Hope you’ll have better material to work with in future…

  19. Amy says:

    Just as a note: it should be quotations of the week, not quotes. Quote is a verb; quotation is a noun.

  20. Mike says:

    I think the best quote of the week came from Bones:
    Sweets: I feel we missed a whole bunch
    Caroline: Who cares we here for the happy ending

    (As Booth explains to Bones what Palent did and he asks her to marry him.) For a show that fast forwarded so many parts fans wanted to see, it seemed to add an element of quality writing and bundle a lot.

  21. Apples says:

    “You’re one of the best agents I’ve ever worked with, but I’m here to tell you you’re fired.” – Rachel McCord to Beckett.

    One of the best wham-lines the show has ever done.

  22. Kayla says:

    I just hope that they don’t cancel a lot of the new shows or the returning shows cause most of them are really good!!! I know that’s a little off topic..

  23. Karen MT says:

    I liked the one from Wonderland. “I’m going to die like a bloody s’more!”

    • neha says:

      Yeah, that was great. Also, Alice’s “We have to get out of here!”, followed by Knave’s dead-pan “Really?”.

  24. april-ann says:

    Quotes of the Week is a great idea but I’m with others who say the quotes should be better. Best one: Sons of Anarchy. Lamest one: Bones. That joke is so predictable and overdone we need a new word for overdone. Worst one: Glee. That’s cute and all, but smart is smart. You can try all you like to make it so, but there’s no kind of smart that’s untraditional. They admittedly send messages to kids which are for the most part positive, but quit sending ones that are not. Fracking FUNNIEST one: American Horror Story. Dishonorable mention for just bad: Trophy Wife. I like this show, but “cute and funny lines” about how unsupportive divorced-full-of-themselves parents are toward their kids have become tired, overused and unfunny lines. Although I do think it is funny, it shouldn’t qualify for a spot here. I agree about shows gone by for the best quotes. Yes 30 Rock. The Office. Freaks and Geeks. Gilmore Girls. Popular. Ally McBeal. Sisters. Brothers and Sisters. Too many to mention. But apparently the bar was raised and the current shows are reportedly much better so please search farther and aim higher.

  25. Britta Unfiltered says:

    I freaking knew that Mary Todd Lincoln line was going to be in here.

  26. Mary says:

    I loved a lot of lines from the Knave of Hearts on Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, like this one – “Of course we did, because a pond made out of dessert topping makes perfect
    sense.” And another in the same scene. “I’m going to die like a bloody s’more.”

  27. syrenemyst says:

    Since it’s my name, the line from Sleepy Hollow made me absolutely giddy! That accent saying my voice… I admit, I replayed the scene on my DVR quite a few time. :)

  28. lor says:

    Grey’s Anatomy, drunk April Kepner, “can I try on your leg?” and “Shotgun, I get car sick in the back…Oh I might get car sick in the front.”

  29. CG says:

    The best line was from Robin on HIMYM: “What, are you fillabustering later? Put on some heels!”

  30. Kate says:

    The Mindy Project is one big hilarious quote-fest. My favorite of last week: “and if I may quote most of my t-shirts, let’s get wet, ladies”.

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