Ted Lasso Season 3: Jason Sudeikis Shares 17 'Spoilers' On Late Night

You've just watched Ted Lasso's Season 2 finale, and you probably have a few questions.

Well, let us be the first to tell you that Jason Sudeikis' appearance on Late Night With Seth Meyers offers no answers — but it does offer a few fake spoilers ahead of Season 3.

During a virtual interview just minutes after Apple TV+ dropped the cliffhanger-filled season ender, Sudeikis and fellow co-creators Brendan Hunt and Joe Kelly sat in front of a white board covered in index cards, with made-up storylines for the next 12 episodes of the Emmy-winning comedy series.

Cocaine-laced biscuits? Dani Rojas meeting Her Royal Majesty?? The Zodiac Killer revealed??? What follows is our best attempt to transcribe them all...

Rebecca and Keeley go shopping / talk about work

Ted Dies

Pube / sharing scandal

Biscuits laced with cocaine?

Henry coaches team over Zoom

Ted develops a shopping addiction (ear cuffs!!)

Something with Steve Bannon

Rebecca gets adult braces

Dani meets the Queen

Reveal Roy has small d–k

Roy gets really, really fat

Team building field trip to Hitler's bunker

Beard is the Zodiac Killer

Nate wins British Bake Off

Rebecca reworks more truthful [illegible] Vegas stand-up show

Jamie is a ghost

The dead dog comes back to haunt?!?