Fall behind? Read our previous The Conners recap here.
In “There Won’t Be Blood,” the family takes part in an holiday-themed Instagram contest, with the potential to win a case of beer and a six-foot sub. Everyone enters in costume for the group photo, including Dan as Napoleon Blown-Apart, Jackie as a disemboweled cheerleader, D.J. as a big game hunter, Becky as Sharknade O’Connor, Harris as Lizzie Boredom and Mary as Scary J. Blige.
Mark, in his Fortnite getup, tells Darlene that the school sent out an email to parents banning any costume that may be perceived as violent or offensive, including his own. Dan encourages his daughter to challenge the school’s new policy, saying that Roseanne would have been the first to march right down there and fight this “P.C. crap,” but Darlene doesn’t agree. Mark ultimately goes with a different costume, dressing as Frida Kahlo — but that, too, is deemed “offensive” by the school principal, who turns Mark and Darlene away from the school carnival. Darlene argues that it’s not cultural appropriation, but cultural appreciation, yet the principal refuses to let them in. Darlene apologizes to Mark for yelling at his principal, but Mark is delighted to see his “psycho mom” stand up for him.
Jackie, meanwhile, introduces everyone to her new fella Peter (played by Matthew Broderick), who has a master’s degree in medieval culture and absolutely zero sense of humor. He accompanies Jackie to the family’s Halloween party dressed as the mind-body dualism of Descartes. (“I’ve often ordered Descartes,” Becky says, confusing Descartes with à la carte. “It’s more expensive that way.”) Peter tries to impress Dan with a series of Halloween “fun facts,” which sends Jackie’s brother-in-law hurrying off to avoid any more awkward banter.
Afterwards, Jackie asks Dan to tell her what he really thinks of Peter, just like Roseanne would do. When “nice” isn’t good enough, Dan comes forward with the truth. “I think I might hate him, but I really need more time,” he says. He then mentions that it’s a little weird that Peter doesn’t have a job at 48 years old, which touches a nerve with Jackie. “Do you know how hard it is to find a single guy in his 40s with a job?!” she snaps. “He’s a damn unicorn! That’s what he is!”
Elsewhere in the episode…
* Darlene interviews at McNasty’s, a restaurant where the waitresses are encouraged to be rude to the customers. The interview goes south when Darlene proves too rude to the manager.
* Harris passes her drivers’ test, but Dan is hesitant to let her drive Roseanne’s car. He ultimately makes his granddaughter a deal: She can drive him to work every day for a month to prove herself a good enough driver. The tag scene finds Mary sneaking up on Dan and Harris from the backseat with a scary mask on — which would certainly make Roseanne proud!
What did you think of The Conners‘ Halloween episode? Drop your thoughts in a comment below.