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This week on Roseanne, Beverly makes Jackie’s life a living hell, while two of Rosie’s oldest friends return.
The episode begins in the Conner kitchen with Roseanne talking to Jackie about Bev’s sleepwalking. Bev enters soon after, and complains about sleeping on a lumpy bed upstairs. Dan suggests she go live with Jackie, but Jackie refuses because, well, she “hates her.” Roseanne argues that she has no space, what with Darlene and the kids already living under her roof. The two eventually agree to share “joint custody” of Bev.
Later that day, Roseanne hosts a poker game attended by Darlene, Harris and Bev, as well as Nancy (Sandra Bernhard) and Crystal (Natalie West). Nancy’s filling everyone in on her new lady friend, and Roseanne suggests it’s much easier to be in a relationship with a woman than it is to be in a relationship with a man. Bev chimes in with a sarcastic quip, saying Dan must feel the same way. That apparently was the last straw for Rosie because, next thing we know, she’s dumping Bev off at Jackie’s front door.
Jackie does just about everything she can to avoid spending time with Bev. She goes out grocery shopping, but doesn’t return for seven hours. When she gets home, Bev takes notice of her crafting table. Jackie calls it a hobby, then Bev calls it a “symptom,” saying, “If you ever want a man to take you seriously, you need to stop doing things like that.” Jackie insists she doesn’t need her mother’s input anymore, because she’s a certified life coach, then Bev argues that a certified life coach should at least “have a life.” Jackie responds by asking Mom if she’s ever seen The Godfather. When she answers “no,” she plants a “kiss of death” on Mom’s lips, Fredo Corleone style.
The following morning, Jackie wakes up to find that Bev has moved all of her furniture. When she goes to yell at her, she discovers an empty bedroom. Bev’s headed over to Becky’s, where she’s now shacking up with her boyfriend Lou (Back to the Future‘s Christopher Lloyd). Roseanne and Jackie head over, and Roseanne agrees to drive Lou back to the nursing home. Meanwhile, Bev threatens to jump out the window if neither of her daughters want her. Jackie stops her, screaming, “I love you. I don’t want you to die.” The two sit down for a rare heart-to-heart, where Jackie admits that “my life would be better without you, but it would be so much better if it was better with you.” And so, she agrees to let her mother live with her full time.
The B-plot finds Dan agreeing to let Mark help him with a drywall project. He lets his grandson build a birdhouse for his client, but the super-creative kid gets too creative. Dan says it won’t be to his client’s liking, and tells Mark he’ll need to redo it in the morning. Darlene’s upset, but Dan’s got a point. This was a job, and not a time for Mark to get creative. Mark walks downstairs the following day with a more formal birdhouse, then later reveals to his mother that he still managed to get creative with the interior — not that Dan’s client will ever know.
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