The 15th edition of Big Brother premieres tonight (8/7c, CBS). But first, we’ve got a few things on our wish list for the upcoming season.
1 | A BAN ON ALL ‘FLOATERS’ | Does anyone remember Season 13’s Lawon? How about last season’s Wil? Maybe Season 8’s Jameka will ring a few bells? For too many years, floaters – that is, contestants who don’t align with other players and make very few strategic moves – have gotten much further in the game than they deserve. (I’m looking at you, Season 13 runner-up Porsche!) With the aid of this summer’s new MVP twist, in which America can vote for who exhibits the best gameplay each week, floaters will (hopefully) be forced to make big moves. Considering the show is rooted in cutthroat strategy, that’s not too much to ask, right?
2 | A LITTLE MORE LUXURY | Sure, luxury challenges aren’t always necessary – especially when the prize is a rare trip outside the house, for a helicopter ride or romantic getaway or something equally fast-forward-worthy. But it’s always fun when the houseguests are treated to a movie screening – and even better when the film’s stars show up to promote it. (Hey, remember when Neil Patrick Harris came to the BB house?)
3 | HoH ENDURANCE COMPETITIONS THAT ACTUALLY, Y’KNOW, ENDURE | Don’t get me wrong: I love seeing the houseguests swing from tenuous ropes (while getting rained on/paintballed/tarred and feathered) just as much as the next sadistic BB viewer. But in recent seasons, endurance Head of Household competitions that lasted well into the wee hours have been replaced by games that are tailor-made for the athletic contestants only. It might not seem nearly as exciting to have contestants holding a button for seven hours, but it totally is.
4 | AN ENTIRE SEASON SANS FORMER HOUSEGUESTS | In theory, pairing the pros with the newbies always seems like a great idea. And at first, it is. But the disconnect between old and new housemates can cause the show to seem stale, and judging by Ian’s triumph over Season 10 winner Dan last summer, Big Brother is now the veterans’ game to lose. (Bonus points if we never have to see musclehead Jessie Godderz — sorry, um, Mr. Pec-Tacular — ever again.)
5 | GIMME LESS GIMMICKS | After 14 seasons, it’s plenty tough to keep this round-the-clock reality show interesting. But should contestants really still be subject to wearing unitards and dog costumes for weeks at a time…? I’m all for a little Schadenfreude, but the viewers shouldn’t be cringing along with contestants.
6 | A LITTLE LESS SHOWMANCE, A LITTLE MORE CONVERSATION | Before you go referencing the adorable on-screen romance of Season 11’s Jeff and Jordan (or the admittedly unstoppable Brendon/Rachel power pairing), take a minute to reminisce on all the BB showmances that have crashed and burned all too quickly, throwing a wrench in otherwise smart gameplay. Romance might be inevitable in a house full of good-looking contestants, but I’m crossing my fingers that this year’s group can resist temptation.
What are your hopes for BB15? Will you vote for an MVP each week — or are you just in it for a weekly dose of Julie Chen? Hit the comments.