C’mere, you big, bald, beautiful man. We want to know what you’ve been up to for the past 13 years.
Mulder and Scully must want to know what happened to the son they gave up for adoption, right?
But not because Scully is feeding them in his absence. That would be bad for the fish (and us). On a related note…
Because splitting them up leads to bad things (see also: Season 9).
We want to believe that the inherently good Margaret Scully lives!
On a food-related note, if there’s an iced tea in that bag, it could be love.
Preferably in the dark, preferably while their flashlight beams bob all over the place.
Remember way back, when David Duchovny said there was an egregious shot of his tush that was cut from the first movie? Yeah, we’ll take that, too.
Because how many abductions, neck implants, cancer bouts, infertility issues and bloody psychic surgeries can one woman stand? (Don’t answer that, Chris Carter.)
Call us sadists, but we think a little MulderTorture would bring joy to you and me. (Chorus.)
We’re not choosy. Anything along the lines of Flukeman, Mrs. Peacock or Tooms will do.
Those graphics looked old in 1993. Refresh! But that eerie theme tune is so perfect as-is, it’s almost… spooky.
Put our favorite pair back in familiar territory by sticking them in the car. We’re reasonably sure Scully’s little legs can reach the pedals.
It just won’t be The X-Files unless we hear Scully’s standard greeting. (Requisite nostalgia note: Look at the size of those phones!)