The 10 Things We Absolutely Hated About Jimmy Fallon's Historic Tonight Show Debut

"To my buddy who said that I'd never be the host of The Tonight Show, and you know who you are, you owe me $100, buddy," Fallon teased after his opening monologue. And that led to a cavalcade of special, New York-centric guests coming out — one at a time — to hilariously pay their debts: Robert De Niro, Tina Fey, Joe Namath, Rudy Giuliani, Mariah Carey, Tracy Morgan, Joan Rivers, Seth Rogen, Lindsay Lohan, Sarah Jessica Parker, Mike Tyson, Lady Gaga and Stephen "Welcome to 11:30, bitch!" Colbert. But unless Fallon was playing a secret, horrifying game of "Which One of These Is Not Like the Other?" then how the heck did Kim Kardashian sneak her way in between Rivers and Rogen? Yeesh.

Did we mention how irksome it was that Kardashian sullied Jay Leno's farewell episode of The Tonight Show earlier this month? And with her appearance on Fallon's debut outing, she's now responsible for bookends of bad mojo. (For the love of all that's holy, keep the woman away from Johnny Carson's grave.)

With Keeping Up With the Kardashians in a ratings slide, perhaps Fallon's Comcast bosses forced her down his throat in the spirit of corporate synergy? (E! and NBC are sibling entities, after all.) But just because there's a famewhore-shaped hole in one network's hull doesn't mean it ought to extend to the entire NBC Universal fleet!

Jesus. Couldn't they at least have gotten Khloe (aka the kinda sorta funny one)?

Presented without comment: Thanks to her Leno and Fallon appearances, Kim Kardashian has shared a stage with comedy legends Carol Burnett and Joan Rivers in the last two weeks alone.

Do the Tonight Show faithful even know who Kim K is? Or did the sparse applause she elicited answer that question?

Maybe Kanye was the only celebrity who won the "will Fallon ever host The Tonight Show?" bet...

...or perhaps Kris Jenner's winning bet with Satan is continuing to pay dividends?

Is it just us or is that smile unbearably smug?

Why was Kim Kardashian any part of a historical TV event? Why is Kim Kardashian famous in any way to merit inclusion in anything other than public-access foolery? Why does it seem like Kim Kardashian never takes a vacation from the public consciousness? Also: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????