Quotes Of The Week For Jan. 28, 2018

GREY'S ANATOMY

"Y'all don't listen. Princess Leia knows what I'm talking about. When they went on that planet with the, the... Ewoks. Yeah. If Han and Luke had listened to Leia, they could have avoided a lot of misery, I'm just saying."

Bailey (Chandra Wilson), pointing out to her male doctor mid-procedure that her situation wouldn't have gotten so dire if he'd only listened to her in the first place

GREY'S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)

"OK, just don't mention that you called her your mother."

"She had me very, very young."

Richard (James Pickens Jr.) and Maggie (Kelly McCreary), after lying that they were Bailey's husband and daughter in order to see her in the ER

WILL & GRACE

"Will, I just got amazing news!"

"Grace got an STD!"

"I did not say STD, I said QVC."

"Well, they're both ways to get something cheap that looks awful."

Grace (Debra Messing) and Karen (Megan Mullally) have different definitions of "amazing news"

THE FLASH

"Why are you still thinking about Bulbasaur?"

"He's the cutest one of all!"

Cisco (Carlos Valdes) has Pokémon on his mind — and mind-reading Cecile (Danielle Nicolet) knows it!

THE FLASH (Bonus Quote!)

"I've been here long enough to know that in prison, hope is the most dangerous thing."

"Wait — did you get that from Shawshank?"

Maybe Big Sir (Goldberg) will next tell Barry (Grant Gustin) to "get busy living or get busy dying"?

SUPERNATURAL (Bonus Quote!)

"Come on, you're like eight feet tall. You can't reach that?"

Dean (Jensen Ackles) needles Sam when he struggles to grab a hex bag

SUPERNATURAL

"Did they get to fifth base?"

"There's no such thing as fifth base."

"Oh, you poor, sheltered boy."

OMG, is there something Dean (Jensen Ackles) doesn't know about sex?!

THE GOOD PLACE

"Then I heard this little voice in my head saying, 'Tahani, don't do this!'"

"The little voice in your head sounds like the old lady from Downton Abbey?" 

"Oh, yes, sorry: Maggie Smith is my godmother."

Tahani (Jameela Jamil) gets in one last Season 2 name-drop during her heart-to-heart with Eleanor (Kristen Bell)

SUPERGIRL

"I had a job actually up in Seattle for a while..."

Grey's Anatomy fans, did your ears perk up when Chyler Leigh's Alex referred to her old gig in Seattle?

ONE DAY AT A TIME

"Not yet, mi vida. Not yet."

In Episode 13, Lydia (Rita Moreno) tells Berto that she's not yet ready to join him in the afterlife

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER

"Listen, this lawyer, Ms. Keating — she really wants you to sign up for her case."

"You two bonin'?"

His timeline is a little off, but Nate Lahey Sr. (Glynn Turman) otherwise has spot-on instincts about his son's relationship with Annalise

THE BIG BANG THEORY

"You can't criticize something you've never seen."

"I'm sorry, are you familiar with the internet?"

Amy (Mayim Bialik) tries (and fails) to dissuade Sheldon (Jim Parsons) from writing disparaging comments about the new Professor Proton

MACGYVER

"Helman was horrifically burned over 75 percent of his body. It's a miracle he survived. If you saw him, you must admit, the guy's got a face for telethons."

Murdoc (David Dastmalchian) schools Mac and Jack on their infamous pursuer

MARVEL'S AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Guns, man! It's like cheating! They shouldn't give these to anyone who's not a really, really good person." 

"You think there'd be a law."

Deke (Jeff Ward) is blown away by old-timey firepower

JANE THE VIRGIN

"How about a take on The Notebook, but with vampires?"

"The market's oversaturated with vampire romances."

That feeling when Marcel from The Originals (Charles Michael Davis) tells Jane (Gina Rodriguez) that vampires are played out...

SUPERSTORE

"Attention, shoppers: Our groundhog meet-and-greet has been cancelled — but if you were coming here to meet a rodent, your day's probably not going to be amazing anyway."

Garrett (Colton Dunn) knows just how to make Cloud 9 shoppers feel even worse about themselves on Groundhog Day

SATURDAY NGHT LIVE

"President Trump tweeted that he had the highest ratings ever for his State of the Union Address, which — get this — wasn't true. And this time, even Fox News fact-checked him. You know you're running your mouth too much when even your hype man is like, 'Yo, that ain't exactly accurate though.'"

LUCIFER

"How am I supposed to solve the mystery of how to kill you if I don't understand you first? Your strengths, your weaknesses.... Because everyone has a kryptonite, Lieutenant."

Lucifer (Tom Ellis) aims to find the weak spot in Pierce's (Tom Welling) Superman-like armor