Quotes Of The Week For July 23, 2017

KINGDOM

"Name?"

"Alvey."

"What?"

"Alvey...?"

"Spell it."

"Joe."

Alvey (Frank Grillo) has little patience for a daft take-out employee 

BROADCHURCH

"Christ, his standards have slipped."

Learning of her husband's latest infidelity, Cath (Sarah Parish) reveals her true, bitchy self to "best friend" Trish

BLOOD DRIVE

"There's a new sheriff in town, and he's f—king gorgeous, darling."

The Gentleman (Andrew Hall) introduces himself as the new Master of Mayhem

ZOO

"How are you guys used to these things? I feel like I've got a chickpea in my ear."

Mitch (Billy Burke) is earwiggin' out!

INSECURE

"Oooh, I'm-a put you to bed. You ever been burped?"

After finishing off the Carlo Rossi, Kelli (Natasha Rothwell) invites a group of attractive passersby to join Issa's party — and then some

PREACHER

"He's your dad, isn't he? Or your uncle or somethin'?"

"No. He's my son."

Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun), at last revealing to Tulip (Ruth Negga) his real connection to his (very) old pal, Denis

TWIN PEAKS

"He's dead."

Gordon Cole (David Lynch) eyeballs Hastings' ghastly fate

ORPHAN BLACK (Bonus Quote!)

"Watching her raise my sister, watching my sister raise her own daughter, finding my biological sister... It's taught me that we are all mysterious works of chance, of choice, of nature versus nurture. So to my galaxy of women, thank you for the nurture."

Felix's (Jordan Gavaris) toast to Mrs. S, Sarah, Adele, etc. is getting us all choked up

ORPHAN BLACK

"What have you done with my future?"

"She just wasn't that into you."

"I'm not talking about Rachel."

Ferdinand (James Frain) confronts a snarky Mrs. S (Maria Doyle Kennedy)

THE BOLD TYPE

'He said [affects low, gravelly voice], 'Tell me what you want.'"

"Is he Batman?"

Jane (Katie Stevens) tells Sutton (Meghann Fahy) about her very satisfying sexual encounter with Pinstripe

WYNONNA EARP

"Tacos are tasty, tacos are tasty...."

Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) uses a tasty mantra to cope with a time-trippy vision quest

WYNONNA EARP (Bonus Quote!)

"Bring me the bones of my sons."

"No."

"Very well. Whatever they tell you, it's a dry heat."

Bobo (Michael Eklund) is threatened with a Hell of a fate

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY

"You don't like me. I can tell."

"I don't not not like you."

Ramona employs the rarely-seen triple negative to explain her complicated feelings toward Bethenny

THE CARMICHAEL SHOW

"You can just label yourself a feminist and be one?"

"Well, if Rachel Dolezal gets to be black by just saying it..."

Cynthia (Loretta Devine) makes an oddly astute point about unearned labels

THE CARMICHAEL SHOW (Bonus Quote!)

"Maxine, why you look like a prostitute Inspector Gadget?"

Cynthia (Loretta Devine) weighs in on Maxine's stripper attire

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"Taco Bell announced it will begin selling a 'Potato-rito,' which is beef, cheese, potatoes and chipotle spice wrapped in a tortilla for $1. Or, for the same nutritional value, just eat the dollar."

CASUAL

"That was f—king awesome! Oh my God, this is going to be amazing! This is going to be the best Star Wars film ever!"

Poor Alex (Tommy Dewey) is going to be sooooo let down when he actually sees The Phantom Menace