Quotes Of The Week For Oct. 29, 2017

S.W.A.T.

"One for each of us.... Ooh, and one for Denise."

Hair salon regulars check out the arriving S.W.A.T. team — male and female alike

BLUE BLOODS

"Everything will be a family decision, because that is what we are and that is what we will always be. A family. Me, you, your brother and your mom, god rest her soul."

"She was brave for you. We can be brave, too."

Sean (Andrew Terraciano) says the things his dad (Donnie Wahlberg) needs to hear

SCANDAL

"I. WANT. MY. BONES!!!"

Unless we're completely misinterpreting this one, Olivia's father (Joe Morton) has just discovered that David Boreanaz is starring in a new CBS drama but isn't quite ready to accept him in a new role

THIS IS US

"What's the 'G' stand for?"

"Garuda. [Off Randall's look] Damn. I almost had a baby named after me until I said that, didn't I."

Randall (Sterling K. Brown) gets first-time parenting advice from a home goods store employee

ONCE UPON A TIME

"Ralph, I have a job for you. You know that place that sells beignets? Wreck it."

"Wreck it, Ralph"? We see what you did there, Victoria (Gabrielle Anwar)

THE BRAVE

"You're American?"

"Canadian. We're like American-lite."

McG (Noah Mills) flirts with a pretty woman in a bar in Seville, Spain

THE BIG BANG THEORY

"You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? Meryl Streep."

"She's not a scientist."

"Then explain to me why she has chemistry with literally everyone."

Howard (Simon Helberg) has the nerve to second-guess Meryl Streep when Raj (Kunal Nayyar) suggests the three-time Academy Award winner for the Professor Proton reboot

THE BIG BANG THEORY (Bonus Quote!)

"What part of 'rest in peace' don't you understand?"

Arthur (Bob Newhart) is sick and tired of serving as Sheldon's personal Obi-Wan — even if he is just a figment of Dr. Cooper's imagination

GREAT NEWS

"I would love to, but I can't. I made plans with my mom to watch Goose, the sexy Mother Goose adaptation on The CW set in present-day Miami."

From Katie's (Briga Heelan) mouth to CW President Mark Pedowitz's ears! Can this be a real show, please?!

SUPERSTORE

"Whenever I get one of those, I put a little garlic oil in my ear. It takes away the sting and you get to smell like the pope!"

Glenn (Mark McKinney) has the perfect remedy for Mateo's ear infection

THE WALKING DEAD

"Do I feel the supreme confidence, or is my lot, my job, to simply project such certainty? No and yes, yes and no, and then, finally, yes to both... Fake it 'til you make it, baby!"

King Ezekiel (Khary Payton), revealing to Carol the method behind his mad displays of self-assuredness

SCORPION

"Why do you guys always look so surprised when I know something?"

Paige's (Katharine McPhee) idea to turn a pipeline into a cannon blows the team away

YOUNG SHELDON

"You having a hard time adjusting to high school?"

"I'm having a hard time adjusting to Earth!"

The school librarian (Sarah Baker) is not prepared for the enormity of Sheldon's (Iain Armitage) problems

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS

"Following recent sexual assault allegations against Kevin Spacey, Netflix has announced that House of Cards will end after next season. So I guess it is possible to get a president to step down over sexual assault allegations."

JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE

"For me, this is super exciting. I'm halfway through my first monologue, and I've already had a late-night show longer than Magic Johnson."

Guest host Shaquille O'Neal takes a swipe at a fellow NBA legend's short-lived foray into late-night

WILL & GRACE

"Sorry I'm late, but I got here as soon as I wanted to."

Karen (Megan Mullally), arriving at work

WILL & GRACE (Bonus Quote!)

"You do not ask a priest to top you off on the blood of Christ!"

"What took him so long? And why is there only one server?"

"He's not a server, he's the priest!"

Will (Eric McCormack), explaining to Grace (Debra Messing) the ins and outs of Mass at Rosario's funeral

THE FLASH

"Four years seeing this stuff, I finally puked."

Ralph Dibny sneezing his face off is snot what Joe (Jesse L. Martin) wanted to see

THE FLASH (Bonus Quote!)

"Do you do this with all her boyfriends?"

"I hunted her last one, yes."

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know."

"He... got away."

"I don't know where you go when you die."

Cisco (Carlos Valdes) learns just how protective a pop Gypsy's dad (Danny Trejo) is

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

"You know what I'm looking for..."

"Breath mint? A dermatologist recommendation? Reese's Pieces?"

Sara (Caity Lotz) is a cocoon full of comebacks

STRANGER THINGS

"How do you know it's not just a lizard?"

"How do I know...? Because his face opened up and he ate my cat!"

In Episode 6, Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo) clues Steve in to Dart's appetite

RIVERDALE

"Betty's ponytail is iconic, and beyond reproach."

Kevin (Casey Cott) fiercely defends his best friend's trademark hairstyle

DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW (Bonus Quote!)

"Now this is a time machine!"

Consider Nate's (Nick Zano) capacitor fluxed!

MOM

"Didn't support me for 40 years. Now all of a sudden, we're the Gilmore Girls."

Christy (Anna Faris) doesn't know what to make of the newly supportive Bonnie

THE GOOD DOCTOR

"You don't have imaging. You could puncture his heart."

"Is the xiphoid in the same place as it was 20 years ago?"

Dr. Glassman (Richard Schiff) has no time for Dr. Melendez's (Nicholas Gonzalez) skepticism when treating a patient's heart condition