Saturday Night Live has a last-minute holiday gift for you: a cut sketch from this month’s James Franco-hosted episode that, frankly, makes the sketches that actually made it to air look like a big old lump of coal.
The just-posted sketch — which you can watch above — is a savage parody of the Hallmark Channel’s holiday movie machine, which relentlessly cranks out identical tales of yuletide romance each year. Even if you’ve never seen a Hallmark movie, you’ll giggle at this fake promo for holiday-themed movies like Yes, Santa, starring “Canadian-handsome Chris Bearstick” (Franco) and “Jessica Normal” (Kate McKinnon), whose character ditches her workaholic fiancé for a hot young Santa Claus: “He works too much… so it’s OK if I cheat on him.”
More fake movies feature Kenan Thompson playing a single mom’s “black co-worker with no backstory” (his catchphrase: “Now what in the world?!…”), Melissa Villaseñor as a “once-famous, now very Christian actress”… and many, many more, “all filmed during one month in Ottawa.” As the cheery promo narrator admits, “we are just blasting your ass with these!”
The million-dollar question is: Why couldn’t SNL find room to actually air this slice of genius — especially in an episode that our recapper called “absymal”? (Was it judged to be too mean to Hallmark and its actors? And if so, when did SNL get so toothless?) Well, in any case, we’re just happy we got to see it at all.
Press PLAY above to watch the cut SNL sketch, then hit the comments to tell us how many of these fake movies you’d actually watch. (C’mon, you can admit it; you’re among friends here.)