Michael Ausiello Kit Cowan

Here's a First Look at My Memoir (and News on Its Release Date)

The. End.

Several weeks ago, I typed those two magical words and promptly let out a huge sigh of relief, which was followed by an ugly cry, which was followed by a celebratory vodka soda.

Save for some trimming and fine-tuning, I am nearing the conclusion of the cathartic, emotionally grueling, 18-month journey I took in writing my first book — a memoir chronicling my 13-year relationship with my late husband Kit Cowan (with, for good measure, some anecdotes thrown in about my Smurf- and soap opera-fixated childhood, and my Gilmore Girls– and Veronica Mars-obsessed career). So I’m excited to finally reveal the title/cover design (below), release date (Sept. 12, 2017) and, yes, pre-sale buttons (also below).

I’m less excited to also share with you some of the mixed feelings that have been weighing on me the past couple of weeks as I prepared to make this announcement.

You see, my memoir is being published by Atria, which is a wonderfully inclusive and diverse imprint of Simon & Schuster, which, as you may have heard, is the same company that will soon be releasing a book by noted hatemonger Milo Yiannopoulos (via the conservative Threshold imprint). Even though Simon & Schuster CEO Carolyn Reidy maintained to me and other concerned S&S authors in a Jan. 23 letter that Yiannopoulos’ book will not include hate speech, I have struggled to reconcile doing business with a company that provides the likes of him with a platform. But, since my lawyers have advised me that my options for getting out of my contract at this stage in the process range from non-existent to nil (and, believe me, I tested their assertion), reconcile it I must.

So, here’s my plan for clearing my conscience as I head into the promotion part of this process. Simon & Schuster paid me some money to write this book. This morning I donated a portion of it to the Los Angeles LGBT Center, an incredible organization that has long been on the front lines of combating the kind of divisiveness and intolerance that Yiannopoulos perpetuates. Better yet, that donation was made in Yiannopoulos’ name.

Bottom line: I worked my ass off on this thing, I’m really proud of the end result, and I want to be able to remain really proud of it.

So, without further ado, here’s the cover of my book, which was co-conceived by my amazing editor Rakesh Satyal and the crack design team at Atria. And the title itself? All me.

amazon bn googleplay ibooks indiebound


Spoiler Alert The Hero Dies

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  1. Dan says:

    That unique moment when you take a deep breath and, toes tingling, stomach churning, a strange urge to cry nervous tears, reveal to the world a big project you put your guts into. Congratulations, Michael!

  2. Angie Garvin says:

    I am so incredibly excited for you! Congratulations and I can’t wait to buy it.

  3. lmlabella says:

    Such is the double edge sword of free speech… inclusive messages of love and unity must share shelf space with hate speech and racism. But, love is love is love is love, and it shall prevail. Its more important than ever to share your message and story with the world.

    • gdv says:

      I know. What can you do except what Michael has done and try to turn the crappy situation into something positive (via donation)? @Michael, thank you for at least trying to make a stand. I work in publishing, and I’m sure many S&S authors are outraged like you. Let’s just hope that for every book of hate and fear there are 1,000 more of love, inclusion, courage, and sacrifice. Considering the way artists and writers have already started speaking up in the current political landscape, I believe there will be.

    • Anne says:

      Ya free speech allows Yannohatmonger to say what he wants…..but those same principles allow S&S to not give him a book deal. The right to say them doesn’t mean the right to be heard

      • Jenna says:

        I don’t follow Milo and I have saw him in a few videos so I don’t know what Milo has said that is so hateful and that donating to an LGBT center is something he’d hate. I may have to buy his book to find out, maybe I’ll get this one too, to balance things I guess?! Congratulations.

        • I googled him out of curiosity and all the hate i was able to find seems directed at everyone but the LGBTQ community. Maybe additional donations to the ACLU, ADL, NAACP and other such organizations would’ve been more apt

  4. Kay says:

    Can. Not. Wait! This is awesome, Michael.

  5. Cesar says:

    Thank you for sharing!!!
    Love love love the cover and title!! Can’t wait to read!

  6. Haley says:

    This is incredible!!! I can’t wait to read it. Perfect birthday present to myself. You are an impressive and inspirational man!

  7. Babybop says:

    Congratulations!! Can’t wait to read it!

  8. Lynne says:

    Well done, well said. I’m sorry this experience is marred for you by the intolerant of the world. I have have been following you around since Soap Opera Digest; I’m looking forward to the book.

  9. Derek says:

    I am so excited to read this. Hope there’s a book tour to go with it!

  10. AC says:

    I am so excited to read this. Thank you for taking the time to explain the S&S background. Michael, you are such a beautiful soul. The cover and title are perfection. Thank you for sharing your stories with the world. Lots of love.

  11. holybison says:

    I am so excited to read this! Hope there’s a book tour with it.

  12. Michael says:

    wow very cool news! Congratulations!

  13. marcee says:

    Truly excellent job on both the title and the cover art. You deserve all the success I’m sure you’ll enjoy. Well, maybe not enjoy, but still. I hope this brings you some closure and maybe, one day, some joy.

  14. Eric7740 says:

    Can’t wait to read it Michael!!! Thank you for being an awesome inspiration to us!!! And thank you for being the bigger person and rising above!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!

  15. Alexis says:

    Got tears at the title. Pre-order complete.
    Congratulations, Michael!

  16. Steve F. says:

    Congratulations! I’ll be in line to buy it, attend any book tours you’ll be doing… and watch as it outsells that douchnozzle Yiannopoulos’ work!

  17. Jeff says:

    Congratulations Michael. This is such fantastic news and I look forward to reading!

  18. Amanda From Michigan says:

    Congratulations on reaching this milestone. Action does speak so much louder that (trolls’) words, so I hope that your money can be multiplied to do so much good. It’s been fun and an honor to follow your journey since the old TV Guide podcast days.

  19. Wrstlgirl says:

    Wow, I am extremely excited for you. I have to admit that seeing/reading the cover of your book choked me up a bit.

  20. JennyB says:

    What a brave and beautiful tribute to Kit and to your relationship.
    Try to worry less about the crap other idiots put out there (that’s beyond your control) and focus on the good you’re putting out there.
    Love your writing and look forward to reading the book and sharing in a bit of your story.

  21. Mary Kate says:

    Atria publishes all of my favorite authors, I am so glad you’re going with them!! Cannot wait to read this – congrats!!

  22. Ingmar says:

    Excited to read this. It must have been real hard to write it, and I bet everyone in your life, including your late husband are very proud of you. Wishing you all the luck with it!

  23. FarleyC says:

    Amazing, Michael! You’re a gem. I cannot wait to read it. :-)

  24. I cannot wait for the book. I mourned with you at your loss and I hope you have found some solice moving forward. I wish only the best for you and thank you for the time you have given us .

  25. Davey says:

    I started to tear up when I scrolled down to reveal the title. Looking forward to reading it. Your perseverance is admirable and it couldn’t have been easy, but turning tragedy into something positive I’m sure would have made Kit proud! Congratulations!

  26. Allison says:

    Book pre-ordered! Congratulations on the book! I have been a fan for a long time and truly look forward to reading your memoir!

  27. Angela says:

    Great idea with the donation-excellent way to balance out and combat the hateful speech out there. Even better that it’s being done in that creep’s name :D. Heh.
    Sounds like this promises to be quite a touching and emotional book. Congrats on getting it published, and I’ll keep an eye out for it later this year :).

  28. Annie says:

    Congratulations! I’m not sure if I will be able to read it without bawling through the whole thing. I’m sure it’s amazing.

  29. Leona says:

    Wonderful cover! Congratulations!!!

  30. Dea K. says:

    I have been following you forever and cannot wait to read this book! I feel like you might be my TV spirit animal :) What a beautiful cover! Thank you for sharing your story. Love is love is love! Congratulations.

  31. Guy says:

    I LOVE this, and I love the title.

  32. Sarah says:

    Can’t wait to read it. And thank you, Michael, for standing up for what’s right.

  33. D'Arcy says:

    Michael, this looks incredible. So proud of you. Strange to think that I’ve been following your career for almost.. what, ten years? Damn, time flies.

  34. Patty Stamps says:

    We love you!!!

  35. Gina says:

    I can’t even think of the words to say other than, congratulations!!! I know this entire process must have been bittersweet and I’m so grateful that you decided to share some of your life with us. I’ll definitely pick up a copy.

  36. Katherine215 says:

    Congratulations!! I’ve followed you since TVGuide and feel like I know you a little. My heart broke for you during Kit’s illness and subsequent passing, and I am so glad you were able to find some comfort in writing. Best wishes!

  37. Em says:

    I am so excited to read this – I will preorder it as soon as it’s possible! The title is so perfect, although bittersweet, and what you’ve done to come to terms with the S&S and Yiannopoulos thing is even more so. You’re having the last laugh. So many of my congratulations.

  38. Wishing you a trip up the best seller list – congratulations! Your love and humor will drown out any hate Milo’s deal (and book) tries to create.

  39. DL says:

    Congratulations, Michael. But here’s another spoiler: The hero lives, too. Because by recording your journey, so we can all share in and learn from what you and Kit had, in your experiences and emotions, you’re for sure a hero in my book (pun intended).

  40. Donna says:

    Congratulations, Michael. I know how hard it is get a book bought and published. Don’t apologize for who is publishing it.

  41. Ron Kolman says:

    Michael, congratulations on completing your memoir. Should be a very good read. Your comments about Milo, you do know that he is gay as well?

    • Andrea says:

      Which brings up an interesting issue. I’m straight, but I’ve noticed this. As a society, I think that we’re still in the phase where we see someone who is gay or lesbian in ideal terms, like if you’re gay or lesbian, you are endowed with all sorts of virtue just because you’re gay or lesbian. Gay rights is still so new that we haven’t seen things like partners divorcing each other or having to deal with custody battles, but we undoubtedly will see more of this as time passes. You’re going to have people who are gay who are Republicans and people who are gay who are Democrats. You’re going to have people who are gay and Libertarian, people who are gay who are nice, and people who are gay who are unpleasant. Michael, you may not like Milo and strongly disagree with him, but he does have a purpose. Your community is as flawed, as human, and as imperfect as the rest of us. Welcome to the club!

      • Ron Kolman says:

        Very well said. No one is perfect.

      • Alexander Argybargy says:

        Andrea, you have good points. But Milo goes very far beyond what one could call reasonable differences. If someone expressed policy differences, or differences about religious beliefs, in a respectful way, I don’t think any of us would care.

        Milo’s purpose is to rile up as many people as he can with speech that encourages disrespect and ugliness. You may see a purpose in that. I fail to do so. That is rooted not only in my identity as an LGBT person, but also in my faith. We believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person. I am sad to say, Andrea, that Milo would never extend me the same courtesy.

        All the best to you.

        • Andrea says:

          @Alexander, I don’t know who Milo is, so I’ll defer to what you know about him over what I don’t. My point is not about Milo specifically, but the purpose that I’m referring to is not so much about what he says. It’s that he’s present in your community to have a dissenting opinion. Yeah, you may hate it. You may even despise it, but the act of Milo writing a book and Michael writing a book and Michael and Milo’s books being able to duke it out in a free market economy is a good thing. I also think it’s important to not paint any community with one brush, either in a positive way or negative way, because not every member of a community acts the same way all the time.
          By the way, I have a disability and have had it since birth. Do you know how many people still think that people with disabilities are happy ALL the time? I understand what you’re saying. There are some particularly distasteful views in play here, but I still think it’s not a bad thing for a community to recognize that it has flaws. Not every person with a disability is happy all the time. I’m sure that you’ve met a few unpleasant gay people just like I’ve met some unpleasant people with disabilities. If Michael wants to shout down Milo by outselling copies of his book, I’d prefer that to Milo’s voice existing, but being silenced by the publisher. I’ll take your word for it that Milo would not extend you the same courtesy, but ignoring discord is not a good thing either. Nice chatting with you, Alexander. :)

        • Ronald Kolman says:

          I am going to be a liberal now. You are wrong, I am right. Time to riot and burn things. That is worse than hate speech

  42. Joel Maurice says:

    Great Title and cover. Congratulations on the accomplishment. Hopefully putting the words to page have been a good outlet for the hurt.

  43. Broadwayfan says:

    I didn’t know about your heartbreaking loss and grief.
    You’re so courageous to write about your journey.
    Thank you for sharing with us.

  44. Michael, I stifled a sob when I read the whole title. I will be buying you book as I have followed you for years and I want to support you as best I can.

  45. Spence says:

    This is so exciting and heartbreaking all at once! I applaud you for your decision to share your story and for your donation to the LGBT Center. It’s crucial that we share our art while maintaining our dignity, and you’ve done just that!

  46. jann1155 says:

    Congratulations!!! Can’t wait to read this!! And regarding your publishing company publishing something distasteful (I am being kind) – we live in a country that is dedicated to free speech. At least I hope so. And free speech means everyone has a voice – not just the ones we agree with. While the temptation to censor venomous hate-writing is strong, let us hope that saner heads prevail when purchasing books. Everyone has the right to speak. But everyone also has the right to purchase the books that they find more meaningful. And my purchase vote is with you!! What a wonderful idea to write this tribute.

  47. webly3 says:

    Congratulations! I’m looking forward to reading it.

  48. aserene says:

    Unfortunately, that is the price of free speech. Of course, when you sell more copies than he does, you can take heart that people are listening to you and not to his close mindedness.

    I find the title to be very apporriate. Congratulations Michael! I look forward to picking up a copy.

  49. Luis Roman says:


  50. GuessWhat says:

    I collect signed books — but live outside the NY area. Help a brother out, Mikey!