The New Celebrity Apprentice

New Celebrity Apprentice Premiere: Who Were Arnold's First Terminations?

In keeping with Celebrity Apprentice tradition, Monday’s premiere summoned 16 relatively familiar faces from all corners of obscurity to compete for camera time. I mean… for a charity of their choosing.

But this being the New edition of the long-running competition show — in which former host Donald Trump has been relegated to a mere executive producer — we also got to spend our first moments with the new head of the boardroom: actor/politician/possible cyborg Arnold Schwarzenegger. He may not have Trump’s business experience, but as a potential boss, he’s a hell of a lot more intimidating. (Come on, the man looks like a giant, confused mountain that some brave soul managed to squeezed into a suit jacket. Spooky!)

In a move that should have surprised absolutely no one, the man who starred in such films as Conan the Barbarian and Commando chose to separate the contestants by gender: the men (Team Arete) vs. the women (Team Prima). And to compensate for his own lack of business savvy, the Governator brought along a few famous advisors, including: entertainment lawyer Patrick M. Knapp Schwarzenegger, and beauty mogul Tyra Banks.

Though it’s too soon to be picking favorites, it’s pretty clear that human cartoons Jon Lovitz and Carson Kressley will prove this season’s richest sources of comic relief. (Lovitz amused me with his suitcase full of drugs, and I giggled every time Kressley announced a new discovery with childlike glee: “He knows Greek! Who knew?!”)

The first challenge, a live demonstration of Banks’ makeup line, could have been an easy win for the women, were it not for a few wild cards on Team Arete. And following a particularly nasty boardroom breakdown — most of the nastiness coming from Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Stewart, who didn’t hesitate to turn on her “sister” Snooki — YouTube star Carrie Keagan was sent packing. (And, honestly, I’ve already forgotten what she looks like.)

Challenge No. 2 found the teams shooting commercials for Trident, complete with original hokey theme songs, but none of the ladies were smiling while Arete was declared the winning team. (And considering the ladies accidentally shot half of their footage sideways, can you really say you were surprised?) After a whole lot of awkward tension — including Snooki, for the second time, choosing not to throw anyone under the bus — project manager Carnie Wilson was terminated.

Your thoughts on the first two terminations? Schwarzenegger as a host? The new season in general? Grade the whole thing below, then drop a comment with your full review.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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27 Comments
  1. Diane says:

    The Trump factor aside, I still enjoy the show and always like to see who goes to the choppa.

    • Mike C says:

      The “Trump factor” will keep me from watching any of it.

      • Harold Pope Jr. says:

        Trump factor, boycott smoicott, get over it. In the words of Joan Rivers “oh grow up” !

        • Ron says:

          I’m with Mike C, the “Trump factor” and his EP status will keep me from watching. No, I’m sure TPTB won’t care, and my one little singular non-view won’t do anything. But I won’t “get over it.” Trump’s rhetoric has been incendiary toward groups that comprises my family and friends. And as someone who isn’t White (and really, this should be the case despite race), I will NOT support in any way someone who is so openly racist and/or surrounds himself with and appoints openly racist people to his cabinet. And if you’re too blind to see that he’s surrounded himself with some racists (obviously not all, but several, and one is one too many), then you’re a racist. So if you’re able to “get over” Trump’s atrocities, then you do you boo boo. However, I won’t get over any of that because I forbid to contribute to my own oppression.

          • Mary says:

            Bingo, well stated. I believe many will be singing a different tune soon enough especially when it hits close to home for them.

  2. Temperance says:

    Boycotting.

  3. Kevin says:

    I knew Arnold would say YOU’RE TERMINATED as his catchphrase.

  4. Lori Jackson says:

    I like when there is talking between the judges when contestants are not there. Arnold did a little of that but in German to Patrick’s about how Porsha talked a lot. More interaction please!

  5. Chuck says:

    Keagan’s termination was BS. Snooki should have gone in the first task. In the second, Wilson fired herself by not bringing back Kyle Richards. Nothing much has changed but the host — and I didn’t notice any terrible voice over work that the team always had to patch together with the previous host — but it’s at least watchable now. And for everyone “boycotting” because of the “Trump factor” … there is no Trump factor. Executive Producer is a vanity credit because he was involved with the show from the start. He doesn’t have any hand in what’s being produced although he will still get a check for his percentage of ownership. This is all Mark Burnett, right down to separating the teams.

    • Ron says:

      Um, that’s the point. No one thinks Trump still has a direct hand in production. But he still profits. Imagine how Trump’s political side of the aisle would’ve responded if our current president was profiting from a reality show. I will not contribute to Trump’s bank account. He’s the next potus; he shouldn’t have any credit–vanity or not–on any show. When NBC announced over a year ago they were severing ties with Trump, then they should’ve severed ALL ties with Trump.

    • taree rski says:

      I agree on who went and who should have. I feel the boardroom is boring in that Arnold doesn’t do more than asks how someone feels basically during that. If he gave more enthused input maybe that may liven things up?

  6. Chris says:

    Can’t compare to the original

  7. Mary says:

    No interest in watching. I watched 1st year of it, with you know real people, then it became redundant; Never watched again. The celebrity aspect of it never appeal to me to start again.

    • anonymous says:

      I must say, I watched it once or twice long ago, but certainly never would start again now…. Do people really still watch this? I can’t imagine what demographic. If it’s making money for Trump and Arnold, that’s beyond sad.

  8. Tim says:

    I hope they start turning on each other soon.

  9. MLO says:

    Watched only to see what Boy George was like now but can’t see myself sticking with it.

  10. MVA says:

    I was truly shocked and saddened to see how much weight Carnie Wilson has regained AGAIN after having weight loss surgery a second time! Her charity is the Weight Loss Surgery Foundation and I was wondering how she was going to explain that surgery changed her life when clearly it has not.

    • MVA – she had just had the surgery in January of 2016 and they filmed this in the first quarter of 2016 – and as of September had only lost 30 pounds, so she was still in process as this was being filmed. She looks different now.

  11. Darsan54 says:

    Won’t watch it because DT is still connected to it.

  12. taree rski says:

    To be fair only on first impression basis, I feel Arnold may be restricted some from using catch phrases but I feel if he said You WON’T be back in firing it would be much more entertaining. (I asked someone to guess his phrase before it started and they said this). He doesn’t seem to be too convincing on letting someone go. He seems a little scripted often too as if reading cue cards. Unless more humor happens with contestants and he toughens up in firing it will lose ratings foreseeably.

  13. Lane says:

    Will not promote Donald Trump in anything. Use to be a fan of the show.

  14. kempis says:

    The Trump Factor Success will keep me watching Celeb. Apprentice as always
    and The Governator is a FANTASTIC choice by The Donald.

  15. Mary Rutherfordl says:

    Carnie was the best one there and should have stayed

  16. Blondee says:

    I’m going to watch the show simply because I love Boy George.

  17. arlene craigie says:

    Tyra Banks kept referring to the women as “the girls” — come on “girl” — you should know better in 2017!! I didn’t hear you calling the men “the boys.”

  18. TK says:

    I would rather watch Arnold then Donald, he is more personable and I have more respect for him since he has learnt how to be diplomatic.