“Don’t you worry, don’t you worry, child,” went the refrain sung by Team Pharrell at the top of Wednesday’s The Voice Live Playoffs Results telecast.
But, of course, there’s no way the sextet of artists — and their 18 counterparts from Teams Adam, Blake and Xtina — could heed said advice.
Live Playoffs cuts are perhaps the unkindest and most definitely the bloodiest cuts of all. Using the same equation as the Spice Girls’ classic hit “2 Become 1” — side note: How come nobody ever covers Spice Girls on The Voice? — 24 became 12 by the end of the one hour telecast, with the eliminated dozen’s heads impaled on spikes and displayed in the hallway between the coaches’ dressing rooms.
OK, OK, I made that last part up — though maybe we should check those kids’ Twitter accounts for signs of activity? — but you feel me, right, Voice addicts? Brutal. Unforgiving. Too soon. Too sad. Too… what’s that, Carson Daly? I’m harshing on your relentlessly upbeat vibe? I’m supposed to focus on who got saved by America and who got saved by their coaches and not give a eulogy to the fallen? (Oh, Katie Basden and Joe Maye, I think I’ll miss you most of all!)
But yes, relentlessly upbeat vibe! Let’s reveal who
is in a hotel room, packing a suitcase through a cascade of tears advanced to the Top 12 after a very good Monday show and a crushing disappointment on Tuesday.
Saved by America: Hannah Huston, Daniel Passino
Saved by Pharrell: Emily Keener
Eliminated: Lacy Mandigo, Moushumi, Caity Peters
Saved by America: Adam Wakefield, Mary Sarah
Saved by Blake: Paxton Ingram [WHAT IN THE ACTUAL WHAT?!]
Eliminated: Katie Basden (nooo!), Joe Maye (noooooooo!), Justin Whisnant
Saved by America: Alisan Porter, Nick Hagelin
Saved by Xtina: Bryan Bautista
Eliminated: Ryan Quinn, Kata Hay, Tamar Davis (two of these contestants have stronger bodies of work than almost anyone on Teams Pharrell and Blake, no?)
Saved by America: Shalyah Fearing, Laith Al-Saadi
Saved by Adam: Owen Danoff
Eliminated: Caroline Burns, Brian Nhira, Nate Butler
What did you think of the Live Playoffs results? Who got robbed? Who got a gift from America/the coaches? Sound off in the comments!