Vampire Diaries Recap

Vampire Diaries Recap: Bite Club

Never one to mince metaphors, The Vampire Diaries on Friday introduced a literal fight club as a means to help Damon experience pain.

Downward spirals are hardly new territory for the professional brooder, but unlike his previous moral hiccups — and there have been far too many to count — this one is unpleasant for everybody. Past incarnations of his dark side have been fun and fiery. Exciting, even. But nobody’s having fun in the wake of Damon lighting his sleeping girlfriend on fire. Well, except for that Elena wannabe who showed up for a post-battle hump sesh with the victor. (Anybody else have a bad feeling about that lady, by the way? Who just shows up to a guy’s house like that?)

Stefan, on the other hand, chose to channel his post-Elena pain into something more productive — specifically, the long-overdue staking of his wicked stepdaddy. And speaking of Stefan’s pain, I had so many conflicting emotions during his angry reaction to Elena’s “death”; it’s been so many years since the “Stelena” ‘ship was alive and well, I kind of forgot how much he must still care about her. (Also, I put quotes around “dead” because… come on.)

Elsewhere this week…

TWIN SNEAKS | It’s pretty cute when babies kick their mother from inside the womb. It is incredibly not cute, however, when babies syphon their mother’s magic and force her into an early desiccation. Unfortunately, Caroline is experiencing both of these scenarios as she heads into the final stretch of her pregnancy — and no amount of fries, waffle or otherwise, can stop those hangry twins. (Spoiler alert: Because we’ve seen Caroline and the twins looking healthy as horses in previous flash-forwards, we know they’ll all pull through this syphoning ordeal just fine, but I’m still curious to see where it’s leading.)

IF YOU GIVE A HUNTRESS A COOKIE | Bonnie, Nora and Mary-Louise (aka the show’s true love triangle) made tracks this week for Cincinnati, where they intended to face their evil pen pal Rayna Cruz. But the face they ultimately found was a weird, old one; she was not at all the Nina Dobrev look-alike they’d been expecting. Bonnie gave the old lady a pity cookie, and just like with the mouse from that book, it only led to more trouble. In fact, if Enzo hadn’t shown up with a well-timed arrow, Bonnie might have been lights-out for good.

Which is why I — along with Bonnie, her girlfriend and Mary-Louise — was so surprised when Enzo double-crossed them, stealing Rayna’s old body right out from under their noses. All it took was a few minutes in the spa (of fiery, burning death) to restore Rayna’s youthful glow, but I have to wonder why Enzo, a vampire, would team up with a vampire hunter. I mean, other than the gold standard “he just sucks sometimes” reason. (Also, how bummed are you that Nora didn’t end up with Bonnie?)

OFFICER DONOVAN’S NEW ‘PARTNER’ | This portion of my recap is sponsored by, which received its second shout-out in this week’s episode. But don’t bother logging on and hoping to get matched with Matty Blue — I already checked, and it’s not real. Besides, Matt seems to be pretty smitten with Penny at the moment, at least enough to share his deepest, darkest, most vampire-filled secrets with her. Of course, considering Matt’s initial flash-forward included an aside about how he lost his girlfriend, I’m assuming Penny won’t prove as lucky as her name. (Since when did Matt “Human Band-Aid” Donovan have the most complicated love life on this show?!)

Your thoughts on this week’s episode? Hopes and fears for episodes still to come? Drop ’em all in a comment below.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. AT says:

    This episode reminded me how much I like Stefan and Elena. I wish they could go back to that before the end. It was so pleasant to see Stefan have this story outside of Caroline.

    • De says:

      This episode had hints of the old Vampire Diaries. I am a total Damon and Elena fan, but it was awesome to see Sephan’s reaction, when he found out what had happened to Elena. Glad to see Julian got his. I hope he’s gone. Hooray for the return of Enzo! Totally missed him.

    • Mia says:

      Totally agree AT!! Stefan and Elena were the heart of TVD and that is what has been missing. I know Nina is gone but I’m so glad they showed Stefan emotionally distraught because she is his soulmate and he thinks he lost her. Tonight just brought back all those Stelena feelings and I loved it!

      • Brooklyn says:

        Same…this brought back s1 vibes which enjoyed greatly. I feel like the show is heading in the right direction. This was probably the best ep so far this season!

  2. Becca Cobbs says:

    This episode was the best of season 7 so far in my opinion. I was really glad to finally see season 1 Damon again and finally see Julian get what he deserves. If they keep it like this the remainder of the season will be great.

    • Mia says:

      Agree with this too, I felt like this was a turning point for tvd. The flash forwards are what keep me watching so I’m hoping they don’t let us down.

      • Wesley says:

        This was a really great episode. Stefan’s reaction to Elena’s “death” then Damon and the waitress kiss even though we know he’s not moving on nor getting any character development (sigh), Enzo and huntress and then the flash forwards were the high points for me.

  3. Andre says:

    Best episode of the season! Forever love this show!

  4. Saffron says:

    I’m gonna need more Enzo-openly-flirting-while-Bonnie-pretends-to-not-be-into-him moments.

  5. Phoenix5634 says:

    Awesome episode !

  6. liame says:

    This was a good episode and I’m glad Bonnie did not end up with Nora! That chick who showed up at the mansion had the worst fake boobs I’ve seen on a woman since Tara Reid. I need more Enzo time, he’s great to look at.

  7. Maryann says:

    Well, we traded one nasty character (Julian) that I couldn’t wait to see gone for another (Enzo) that I hate just as much. That said, there were some things that I really loved about this episode:
    -I loved the way that Stefan and partner worked together to kill Julian. After what he had done to the two of them, he absolutely more than had it coming. Delicious moment! Julian thought he was invulnerable because of the crowd he surrounded himself with. It didn’t occur to him that others could work together and beat him through cleverness? My favorite moment of the episode, and for a lot of episodes past–seeing Stefan and his almost-baby-mama coldly and deliberately focus their hatred to more than give Julian what he deserved.
    -I loved the forward movement in Matt’s story line. They finally gave him a very, very interesting development in meeting that beautiful, kick-butt deputy! (I just hope it won’t turn him against all his friends.)
    -I absolutely loved the idea that Stefan and others of like mind can now begin to take back Mystic Falls. How will they get rid of Julian’s followers? And after what Stefan did, why would Matt betray him in the flash forward? Will getting their town (and home) back have any real effect on Damon’s attitude?

    Other thoughts:
    -As noted above, I absolutely cannot stand Enzo. The idea that he is being developed as a love interest for Bonnie just absolutely gives me the creeps. And why would he want to reinvigorate a dusty, aging vampire slayer? What is his motive? Why does he want everyone touched by the sword dead? (Or was he just after Julian and considered Damon and Stefan basically collateral damage?)
    -Unlike many other viewers, I cannot stand what Elena’s supposed death has done to Damon. He has had no real character development. This just proves that he never deserved her in the first place if the changes do not persist in her absence. I just hope that if Elena is not really dead, that if burning her alive was an illusion, that she won’t be able to stand him for what he has devolved back into (given that his current fugue-state is not temporary and won’t end once he gets free of the aftereffects of the stone) when she finally wakes up.
    -I almost wish the fast forwards had not clued us in that Caroline and the twins survive with no apparent ill effects. It would have been a nice piece of suspense wondering what was going to happen to them.
    -It will be very interesting to see how the current storylines play into the flash forwards. The idea that Alaric and Caroline might end up together because of the twins works for me. And I am more and more liking the idea of seeing Stefan with his almost-baby-mama (why can’t I recall her name? lol). Does anyone know of an article or comment that recaps just what we know of the flash forwards? It is hard to recall the details of the first ones.

    • The Heretics: Nora and Mary Louise, who I hope rekindle their relationship; and Valerie, Stefan’s former pregnant girlfriend before Julian beat her until the baby died.

      Why, oh why does Bonnie (possibly?) end up with HIM in the future? Why is he still on the show?

      • Maryann says:

        When you say HIM, are you referring to Julian or Enzo? I thought Julian was dead. Enzo is the one rumored for Bonnie’s future love interest. And I personally can’t stand either of them.

    • Rachel says:

      You’re right Enzo is useless and this story line will not help. I hate the fact they are forcing Enzo on Bonnie because she deserves more than a Damon wanna be. I’m also loving Alaric and Caroline. I think it was the baby shower episode that made me interested in seeing them together. They have great chemistry.

  8. Csb says:

    Caroline experienced desiccation not desecration. Very very different things.

  9. Jenn says:

    Stefan’s reaction was mostly about Stefan believing that Damon is now a lost cause rather than being about Elena. When he was talking to Valerie in the car, he said why he was going to kill Julian, and one of the things was that he destroyed Damon. There was absolutely no mention of Elena. He was much more about what her death did to Damon than losing Elena.

    • Lauren says:

      What?? LOL no it was not mostly about Damon. DElusional fan. It was about his brother who he loves killing Stefan’s love of his life Elena. That’s what him beating Damon up, breakdown in the car and motivation with clear plan of attack to Julian came from. It’s funny how SCer’s and DEr’s are STILL threatened by a supposed ‘dead’ ship (SE) that they will come up with the most ridiculous excuses to make themselves feel better. LMAO

  10. K says:

    We’ve already seen Damon in the future, and he mentioned not wanting to be woken up until Elena was awake, so she’s clearly alive.

  11. dlt74 says:

    So glad to see Stefan place the blame of Elena’s death where it belongs…Julian. Of course we all know she’s survived (somehow) because of the flash forwards.

  12. Kristen says:

    Again, as with The Originals, I have so many questions. Lol How am I supposed to believe that Bonnie and Enzo have a romantic future when he is the sole reason that there is now a vampire huntress after all of her closest friends. Bonnie would never love someone that is hunting down her family. Impossible. So, there has to be a red herring in Enzo’s saving the vampire huntress. His reasoning can’t be to take out the Salvatore’s. I can’t even understand why Matt would go along with this. Although, I think it was said that the vampire huntress was holding his girlfriend captive or something along those lines. Hopefully he frees her, and then comes back to help destroy the huntress. UGH! Bonnie, why would you fall for the cookie trick!? I saw it coming a mile away, and then to trust the body with Enzo!? No!!!! She is so gullible sometimes it drives me mad. Glad that Julian is gone… it’s about time. I was whooping that whole scene. The cloaking spell was perfect, and now Julian is dead and gone, and I hope it stays that way. He’s awful! I still don’t think that Elena’s body is burnt to a crisp. It’s already been said that Elena would be back at some point, and I can’t believe that this is how they would stage her final “final exit”. Maybe Tyler doused the flames when Damon was done? I don’t know. Can’t wait for the crossover. Huntress needs to go.