Pretty Little Liars Emily Sick

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Guilty Party

I might be exaggerating, but I’m pretty sure Tuesday’s Pretty Little Liars dropped more secrets about its core characters than the past five seasons combined.

Let’s hit rewind on this week’s info dump of an episode, breaking it down secret by secret, shall we?

Secret No. 1: Spencer and Caleb totally boned. OK, this secret — which was previously alluded to in a Season 6B promo — wasn’t technically confirmed, but if you read between the lines of Spencer’s story about bumping into Caleb in Madrid, you’d see “…and then we had sex” written in fine print. I suspect she’s pretty glad to hear he’ll be sticking around to “help with the campaign.” (You can’t see me right now, but I’m doing this.)

Secret No. 2: Emily has something cancer-y. Here’s what we do know: Emily has been receiving “treatments,” both in California and in Rosewood. Now, here’s what we don’t know: …anything else. The new lady running Ezra’s café — who I kind of feel like Emily will end up dating — dropped the C-word at one point, but Emily didn’t confirm that to be her mystery illness. And by the time Emily eventually bumped into Sara in the cemetery, I was too gasped-out to even react.

Secret No. 3: Aria and Ezra were together the night Charlotte died. Aria looked guilty as hell with each new piece of information revealed this week, which means she obviously killed Charlotte. Or she didn’t. (Oh, who am I kidding? Charlotte’s probably not even dead.) Either way, Aria met up with Ezra around the same time Ali’s sister was murked — and unless that awkward prayer or subsequent intervention weren’t obvious enough for you, the girls are getting suspicious of both “Ezria” halves. But hey, at least she can lean on co-worker/boyfriend Liam’s shoulder lips for support, right?

(Theory time! If we’re going by PLL logic, I honestly think a not-dead Mrs. DiLaurentis killed Charlotte. Just think about it: We thought Ali was dead, but she wasn’t. We also originally thought Mona killed her, but then Mona had her own death faked by Charlotte… who was also falsely classified as dead. This show is just a vicious cycle of presumed-dead people “not” killing each other!)

Secret No. 4: Hanna still has feelings for her ex. I love “Haleb,” but they’re going to need to drop a major reveal about Jordan if they want us not to like him. (And it’s not enough that he pronounces Caleb’s name as “Callub.” I won’t change my mind unless he’s found guilty of murdering pregnant puppies.) Maybe his major shift will occur once Hanna inevitably leaves him for the altar for Caleb!

Your thoughts on this week’s revealing PLL? Any new theories? Drop ’em all in a comment below.