The Good Wife Recap: Drunk in Love?

Don’t get it twisted: Alicia Florrick and Jason Crouse don’t have illicit, Malbec-fueled, sweaty, writhing, hedonistic, ought-to-be-on-Cinemax sex on this week’s installment of The Good Wife. Well, at least not before the cameras stop rolling.

But good people of the jury, I ask you to review their words to each other in the final scene of the interestingly titled “Payback” and then decide for yourself…

Alicia
At the end of the day, sometimes I’m so tired I can’t think straight.

Jason
(looking like sex on a stick in her doorway) That’s why I drink.

Alicia
(pausing provocatively) What do you drink?

WAIT — DID GIRLFRIEND JUST INVITE HIM INSIDE!?!?!

It doesn’t matter than St. Alicia hasn’t changed out of her courtroom attire – there’s something in her husky tone and her slightly arched brow as come-hither as Jessica Rabbit in her red sequined gown. And oh that Jason — there’s a seductive sparkle in his eye even when he shows up ready to beat down a reprobate with a crowbar.

How showrunners Robert and Michelle King resisted the urge to end the episode with the sounds of Marvin Gaye howling, “OH! GONNA GET IT ONNNN!” confounds this recapper’s mind. (Ten points to Gryffindor for showing such restraint!)

While you ponder that, let me pithily run down the highlights of this week’s installment — which parallels Diane and Cary’s mediation vs. a cantankerous Howard Lyman against Alicia and Lucca’s battle with an online university over its failed promises to students:

REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED OLD | Part of me digs the Howard Lyman kerfuffle because, well, Diane and Cary brought the nap-taking, boxer-wearing partner on themselves. But as mediation gets underway this week, and a consultant makes key members of the firm put cotton balls up their noses and put vision-blurring glasses over their eyes, it all gets a little too sitcom-y for my tastes — especially the visual of three comely young attorneys hugging a weeping Howard in front of all of their colleagues. (Female law-school grads, please share in the comments if this development pinged your unrealistic-o-meter!) Methinks, however, that Cary isn’t going down with a bunt, and wonders where the heck is ruthless David Lee in all this! You know our ferocious, bottom-line-oriented divorce specialist wouldn’t have missed out on such ridiculousness — nor held his tongue while it went down.

THE VENGEFUL ELI SUBPLOT | Marissa returns to the action (YAY!) trying to convince her dad to quit as Alicia’s chief of staff, walk away from whatever vendetta he has against Peter and take a job with a rising Israeli politician. When her pleas fall on hostile ears, she turns to Alicia — and Mrs. Florrick (with barely a second thought) terminates Eli’s employment, saying she needs someone who can work with Peter’s campaign manager Ruth and not use her for his personal gain. The Smartest Man in the Room overhears Alicia’s budding class-action case (more on that below) and advises her into a pro-labor strategy that flies in the face of Peter’s new right-of-liberal stance. Ruth is furious. Which only energizes Mr. Gold — and by the end of the hour, Alicia is all “OK! Whatevs!” when Eli insists he is staying in her employ.

CLASS/ACTION | The case of the week shows Alicia and Lucca are working as a wicked-smart unit — taking the case of a woman being brutally harassed by a collection agency and turning it into a broader suit against an online university just about to be purchased by a publicly traded corporation. Team Alucca (OK, I’m not sure that abbreviation is gonna stick) does well with an aggressive strategy — scaring the university by getting 350 students to collectively default on their student loans due to fraudulent promises from the school — but they face a far more daunting backlash when the school countersues them for tortuous interference with contract. Hey, nobody ever said those power blazers came cheap!

In the course of the case, Jason tracks down a schemer who fraudulently coopted the debt payments of Alicia and Lucca’s original client — and uses a crowbar and a smile when he finally comes face-to-face with ’em. The hour ends with him delivering the $8,000 in an envelope at Alicia’s doorway (after hours… wah chicka wah) and Alicia not pressing too hard on how he recovered it. Will she press hard elsewhere — if I ain’t bein’ too subtle? We’ll find out next week!

Until then, I turn it over to you. What did you think of this week’s Good Wife? Sound off in the comments!