ABC Orders Bachelor in Paradise After-Show (They Cancelled Selfie for This?!)

In what might very well be a naked ploy to court advertisers from the condoms and antibiotics sectors, ABC is giving an after-show to Bachelor in Paradise (AKA Reality-Show Rejects and Their Indiscriminate/Horrifying Hookups).

No, this isn’t some kind of Spice Channel-esque wahh-chicka-wahh-wahh situation. Rather, After Paradise is being advertised as a live, one-hour chat show in which Bachelor/Bachelorette emcee Chris Harrison and author Jenny Mollen “will take questions and comments from viewers, and will also debut deleted scenes and outtakes,” according to EW.com, which broke the news.

We can only hope that rejected contestants will appear via Skype to discuss their “journeys” and “feelings” — and which of their rivals “weren’t there for the right reasons.”

Season 1 of Bachelor in Paradise, which irrevocably besmirched the romantic nature of the surfside makeout session championed by the 1953 cinema classic From Here to Eternity, found “fan favorite” evictees from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette plunked into a resort setting with copious booze and little clothing. The musical-chairs-esque approach to dating — with a weekly mismatch of male and female fameosexuals — meant that individuals left single at the end of any given episode were banished to a life of spinsterhood from any further on-screen time. In other words, it’s a “Hook up or go home!” playbook.

After Paradise, from the producers of Watch What Happens Live, will premiere Monday, Aug. 3 at 9/8c (leading out of the back half of the mothership’s two-night premiere).

Excited about After Paradise? Disgusted? Utterly at a loss for what this says about humanity? Sound off in the comments!