Vampire Diaries Recap: Paternity Quest

Vampire Diaries Damon

Via the time-honored art of flashbacks, Thursday’s Vampire Diaries dropped a paternity bombshell of Maury Povich proportions that rattled the Salvatore family tree — not to mention Jeremy’s delicate little brain.

RELATED Vampire Diaries Photos: Stefan and Caroline Get Back to Nature

It turns out Little Orphan Sarah, as she’ll henceforth be known, is the daughter of Stefan and Damon’s uncle/nephew Zach! Back in 1994, Damon returned to the mansion and murked Gail, Zach’s pregnant girlfriend, whose baby (Sarah!) barely survived an emergency delivery. So I guess at least one Salvatore is able to call Mystic Falls home for the time being. #Progress

(Side note: When Damon said he did “the worst thing I’ve ever done” in 1994, then showed Stefan the headline about Kurt Cobain’s death, did anyone else inaccurately put two and two together like I did? Gotta say, I’m a little relieved Damon had nothing to do with that tragedy.)

But even with that twisted confession now out in the open, Damon’s whole flashback became relatively moot when Kai — aka Malachai — revealed that Damon’s “personal” hell is actually his hell, a prison created by the Gemini coven as punishment for murdering his family members. Kai may hold the key to getting Damon and Bonnie back to their loved ones, but it looks there’ll still be hell to pay (pun obviously intended).

Vampire Diaries RecapTHE EX-FACTOR | Over in present-day non-hell, Elena and Stefan bonded over drinks, jokes and… a proposal? Yes, long-suffering Stelena fans finally got to see Mr. Hero Hair get down on one knee — even if it was all in the name of teaching Elena how to reinvent herself. Their fun day out took a sour turn, however, when Stefan broke the No. 1 rule of compulsion by telling Elena everything she made Alaric help her forget.

“You were in love with him, and he was in love with you,” Stefan reminded her of his brother. “When he died, a part of you died, too. … Damon inspired you, he pushed you to own the darkest parts of yourself.” Elena was, understandably, taken aback.

Of course, she wasn’t quite as taken aback as Stefan was in the episode’s final moments, when a certain presumed-dead girlfriend stopped by his garage. Enzo apparently fed Ivy his blood before he killed her, and now we’ve got ourselves another vampire — which is great because, really, I was afraid we were going to run out.

vampire-diaries-mattSCARED STRAIGHT | Speaking of Enzo, Tripp finally told Matt about his vampire-killing operation, which included a tour of his little prison — and an introduction to his naughty British prisoner. According to Tripp, his wife was killed by a vampire who then compelled him to believe he was responsible for her death, so he plans on using Enzo to expose every other bloodsucker. I think Matt’s face says what we’re all thinking: “Oh, s—t.”

HARD-KNOCKS | Meanwhile, Jeremy finally met his emo-match in Alaric, who literally knocked some sense into the young hunter, explaining that his misery over Bonnie’s death is no excuse to spend the rest of his life in a drunken stupor (no matter how entertaining said stupor might be for the audience). I guess when you put Bonnie up against everyone Alaric’s lost — his wife, his girlfriend, his humanity — one little Bennett doesn’t seem so bad. (And speaking of girlfriends, I’m loving the chemistry between Alaric and Jo. More of that, please!)

So, TVD fans, were you surprised by Sarah’s big reveal? Did you enjoy Stefan and Elena’s, albeit jokey, proposal? And what do you make of Kai now that we know his dirty little secret? Browse photos from upcoming episodes below, then drop a comment with your review of this week’s hour.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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44 Comments
  1. Way to waste everyone’s time by telling Elena everything, Stefan! She only lost her memories two episodes ago, couldn’t let that plot simmer just a tad?

    • tyranthraxus says:

      You knew it was going to happen. I kinda like them NOT drawing it out.

      • Andy Swift says:

        I kind of agree with Patrick. We spent an ENTIRE episode watching her erase Damon from her memory… and now it’s back.

        • Caitlinchristine says:

          Her memories aren’t back though! She just knows she got rid of them for a reason, but she didn’t have Alaric give them back. She still is choosing to forget why/when she loved him and start over.

      • But what was the point of erasing her memory, only to give her back the memories right before Damon returns, so everything is hunky dory.

        • Caitlinchristine says:

          She doesn’t have her memories back! They’re still dragging it out a little…

          • Kevin says:

            she still doesn’t have her memories back; she just knew she loved damon, but the current her doesn’t love damon. The Old elena is giving this new elena a chance to find herself (ie. no love triangles thank god). This season is so good; love damon/bonnie/kai storyline; and what’s gonna happen with ivy and sarah?

          • TG says:

            He removed his sister’s spleen thinking she could live without one. Nice job bringing in the Gemeni coven – Enzo was onto something.

        • Brigid says:

          No they will not give her her memories back. They will have her fall in love with him on her own to prove to whoever cares that they are soulmates. It’s like a fresh slate for the writers who forced this relationship in the first place and messed it up instead of having Damon change and grow it organically.

  2. iamsylar says:

    I’m guessing Kai is Luke and Liv’s uncle

  3. Skittles&Bits says:

    Enzo is one of the most annoying characters in TV history. His smarmy, cocky voice makes me want to stab my ears with rusty nails. He literally exists to annoy the main cast so much they can’t think straight and end up making rubbish decisions when sh*t goes down.

    • michelle says:

      Kind of have to give him a break he was a prisoner in the basement for 50 plus years. He is just like damon when he was back season 1.

  4. Brigid says:

    I personally loved seeing Paul have so much fun in this episode, particularly during the proposal. “Bull-fighting….” No surprise, it was an enjoyable episode. Was really hoping Sarah was somehow Bonnie and Damon’s daughter (far-fetched, but still fun to theorize). Can’t wait for next week!

    • Alice says:

      That bull fighting accident line was inspired and fun. The show needs more of that to balance the constant death and wailing.
      Also Jeremy somehow making his girlfriend’s death all about him- ugh, I wanted Alaric to hit him again. Bonnie, sweetie, you can do better.

      • Sara Berzi says:

        JEREMY making Bonnie’s death all about him? I disagree. He seems to be the only who cares, who realizes how brave and selfless Bonnie is for sacrificing herself for EVERY single person (even Enzo, and had it been up to her, she would have brought Lexi and Damon back, too, except herself). I understand that it was about time we saw that Alaric, too, is a real person with real emotions, who needs to vent once in a while and not just take care of everybody else, but Jeremy has been through so much in his young life, lost countless of people, yet judging from the way Alaric handled the situation it didn’t seem he aknowledged that (he probably does, but I wish you could tell from the scene and not based on logic.)

        Elena, on the other hand, the world seems to revolve around her. But that’s another story entirely.

  5. Rook says:

    I loved how Elena told herself not to define herself by who she loved. It was hilarious.

  6. js says:

    I am so bored with this show I decided to read a recap instead of watch it and even the recap sounds ridiculous … bring Damon back !!

    • OL says:

      If you would have bothered to see the show you would have seen how much they have improved it, the episode from this week is the best episode i´ve seen in a while. It´s not a shocker they are picking up the pace either way, the last couple of episodes have been good, but the last one was great!
      You should seriously tune in once again, they are working on a solid way to get damon, bonnie and (psyco villain) Kai back to mystic falls, present time. The show is really getting more mature in its story telling!

  7. Heather says:

    What the heck did Grams do?? She got Bonnie and Damon stuck in some evil witch’s Hell and if he really wanted to, he could suck all of Bonnie’s energy and kill her. Did she not realize that before she found her own peace? I’m feeling like Grams did not do any favor for Bonnie at all.
    Also… Props for continuing the Salvatore line. Did not see that one coming, at least not right away. Still pretty cool though.

    • Alice says:

      Maybe, since Bonnie’s original death was the result of her breaking some magic rules, Grams figured the way for her to get her peace and be on the good side with everyone would be to put her in a position to equalize Kai, who seems to have crossed a few lines himself?

    • Rain says:

      I thought Grams sent her there because she knew that Kai (ugh, I’ve never hated a character more) had that gadget that would help Bonnie get back to real time. It wasn’t ideal but it kept her from vanishing into nothing along with the rest of the “other side”.

  8. Netty says:

    Yeah I’m pretty sure the love triangle is over and done with. Seeing Elena and Stefan converse about Damon just sealed it for me. Its like there’s no more residual feelings whatsoever between them. I had a little hope for Stelena but now with Elena having been reminded by Stefan that the man she loved was Damon..:-(

  9. Sarah says:

    At least Jeremy’s only lost his parents, his aunt, Vicky, Anna, and now Bonnie. But who’s keeping score, right? AND he’s just a kid and he’ll heal with time and totally not be forever scarred by all this for eternity. I mean Alaric, he’s just a grown-up! He’s beyond repair! *throws fist into sky and shouts mournfully while it rains heavily down my face*

  10. S says:

    Wait…we’re supposed to be ‘shocked’ by Sarah’s ‘big reveal’. Sorry…but that’s not a shocking moment in my book. It’s just a ‘oh..okay’ moment. Honestly the hour was pretty boring except for the Bonnie and Damon stuff. Question – has Damon always called her Bon-bon? Of course Stefan told her. His brooding and feeling sorry for himself crap is so tiring.

    • michelle says:

      Last week I wanted someone to say speak for your self. Everytime she said she is getting over her greive. I glad stefan told her and under stands the love. I think stefan soulmate was unfortunately katherine according to history of the unspeakable doppalganger line.

    • Allison says:

      Yes, Damon has always called Bonnie, Bon-Bon. It’s kind of an endearment and putdown all rolled into one. They verbally spar at each other. It’s their thing.

  11. queerbec says:

    Ivy’s back as a vamp so Tripp will have someone we know to kill! After all, he wouldn’t actually do us a favor by killing off Damon or Stefan or Elena or Carolyn! I guess he’s not after witches, so Liv and Liam may make it to midseason!

  12. Brigid says:

    I enjoyed Stefan and Elena, Alaric and Jo and Matt and Tripp. That is all. I wish Bonnie would beat the living tar out of Damon. The way he talks to her and treats everyone around him, he has zero regard for human life, Why would anyone love him? I see no change since season 1, wake me up when there is.