As Syfy’s Sharknado 2: The Second One touched down on Wednesday, the forecast called for world-class groaners and epic leaps of logic. And yet… the sequel was a whale of a good time, easily doubling the entertainment quotient of the original shlockfest.
In fact, rather than wait for TVLine’s 20-ish Questions or Quotes of the Week columns, Sharknado 2 deserves a standalone showcase for its very “best” worst dialogue and the WTF? moments that dropped like flaming hammerheads. Review our picks, then share your own!
THE 13 BEST BAD LINES….
“Two of my friends were killed, I almost destroyed Los Angeles…. And oh yeah, I almost got eaten by a shark. How much ‘fun’ do you think that was?”
“I had the chicken.”
“Chicken? I was going to try the fish.”
(One of multiple Robert Hays/Airplane! references, for the uninitiated.)
“It’s like he knew who I was….”
“If he did, he would have run the other way.”
“If anyone’s playing me in a movie, it’s gonna be me.”
“There are no chainsaws in New York! You need to go to Long Island, or New Jersey. You don’t wanna go to New Jersey.” (Hey now!)
“Hooooooly sh… ark.”
“You know what you just did, don’t you? Jumped the shark.”
“This is a twister with teeth.”
“We are talking about shark-falling rates of two inches-per-hour….”
“Because flaming sharks!”
“I know you’re scared. I’m scared, too. They’re sharks, they’re scary.”
“Let the fireworks begin!”
“You’re not going to need this again.”
How would Fin, a surfer/bar owner, know the first thing about piloting a 747?
Did April really randomly fire a gun at the sharks outside as she used one arm to dangle from a hole in the side of an airborne plane?
If that flight was presumably a redeye (touching down at dusk), why were the lights on, and no one was sleeping?
When Fin’s sister called him at the hospital, how did he know she was at the Statue of Liberty? (That was never established, yet he urged her to get back on the ferry.) Also, who says “copy that” during a phone call? A surfer-turned-747 pilot?)
Why was there a guy in a parka at a July baseball game, if the freakishly cold weather was unanticipated?
Why the random sewer alligator attack? (Is Alligatornado coming?)
How did Judd Hirsch know where (and when) to pick up Fin & Co. off the 7 train? Does he drive the same magic cab as on Taxi Brooklyn?
How was the irregularly shaped head of Lady Liberty able to roll for so long, and so straight a path, on a flat street?
Where did the wave of water that rushed down the hospital stairs toward April come from?
Why would a taxi driver have a tow rope with him (if he has one at all) in the front seat, and not in the trunk?
If Fin knew he only had eight minutes to do whatever the hell he had planned for the Empire State Building’s freon tanks, why did he stop to deliver a long speech to the crowd?
Is throwing started chainsaws into a tornado really such a good idea?
Sharknado 3 is coming: At the 5:45 mark, Ian Ziering
and Tara Reid discuss where it should take place: