Scandal Recap: Let's Start the First Family Feud!

Scandal Mellie Affair RevealedThis Thursday on ABC’s Scandal, there was a whole lotta lovin’ (and/or lustin’ and/or lickin’) going on. Whose sex-rated activities got exposed? And whose landed a person unconscious? And is no one thinking of the children?!

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The First Teens are in town for a veddy important live, primetime TV interview alongside the ‘rents, but something’s amiss. There’s a chill in the air. OPA does some digging, and it’s discovered that young Jerry is secretly hosting an anti-Fitz website as well as shopping for pro-Reston swag. When Fitz confronts his son about his skullduggery, daughter Karen — already bent out of shape by the family sex scandal — storms off to see Mellie, only to get an eyeful of Mom servicing Uncle Andrew.

Mellie has no luck in soothing Karen, and when Fitz takes a stab, the teen bellows the truth about the Mellie/Andrew hook-up. Fitz charges down the hall and slugs his running mate, then later has it out with Mellie. To hear him tell it, after Mellie gave birth to Jerry (who quite possibly was the product of Big Jerry’s rape), she declared herself “not a sexual person anymore” and “shut the door” on that part of their union. “You killed us,” Fitz argues. “You ruined our marriage… Our kids never had a chance” at a happy home. Mellie comes thisclose to revealing the rape, but doesn’t — in part because Olivia interrupts, as the TV interview draws nearer. (P.S. Shonda’s already addressed any complaints of a discrepancy re: the Grants’ sex life.)

Having roared at Liv’s interruption, Fitz goes to apologize to his mistress, but she — fresh off hearing her mother Maya liken her to “the help” that cleans up other people’s messes — reminds him that she is “at work,” so save your words for the kids, and get them in line in time for primetime. And with that cue, Fitz goes to the freshly scorned Mellie, takes her hand and meets with Jerry and Karen, and by hour’s end they’re all about to go on TV, everything somehow (no really, how?) all sorted out.

Elsewhere in Scandalsextown, Sexytimes USA….

* Huck serves up some beatdowns in the name of getting B613’s attention, so that Command will return his calls. Ultimately, Jake sends Quinn to see what he wants. Huck says he wants B613 to let her go, which confuses Quinn. As she points out, one minute he’s licking her face and rarin’ to rip out molars; but when his tongue is in her mouth, suddenly he wants her to live? Quinn gives Huck a sssslllloww, lllonnnggg lick upside his own temple, ulls him into a heated kiss, and then pushes him away and leaves. She arrives home to find that Charlie has moved into her place, a mix of being curious about her shaky story about Huck’s recent accosting of her and wanting to “protect” her.

* Adnan Salif turns to Harrison and OPA, claiming she’s gotten in over her head with Momma Pope. Harrison tells Liv he “owes” Adnan, so Liv agrees to help/ask David to offer immunity in trade for dish. But later, after arousing Harrison’s… interest… with a dropping of bloomers (seriously, that was an A+ move), Adnan and her Clearwater cohort copulate — after which she plunges a syringe in him, steals Fitz’s campaign trail/security details off Liv’s computer and delivers them to Ivan the Terrorist. Good thing Jake is watching the trade-off happen, though… right? No, he wants to “see how it plays out.” Because nothing can go horribly wrong that way.

* On a less sexy note, Cyrus seems “OK”-ish in the wake of James’ funeral — that is, until he overhears Jake in the Oval Office. He then charges in to assault the B613 boss, twice, but Fitz intervenes. Afterward, Cyrus explains to Fitz how James believed in “fairy tales,” that a VP shouldn’t be able to kill her husband in cold blood and get away with it. Jake, Cy “concedes,” is merely doing his job “serving at the pleasure of his president, like the rest of us.”

What did you think of the episode “Mama Said Knock You Out”?