Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From Dallas, Glee, New Girl, Parks and Rec, Big Bang & More

Spring is still a few weeks away from, er, springing. But blooming up through the slushy sidewalks of your hometown, here comes TVLine’s Quotes of the Week!

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This time around, we’ve got a Dallas booty call-out, a Suburgatory tanning lesson, some meat-eating swagger on Hannibal and About a Boy, a bit of meta humor on Glee, a double dose of Arrow and much more.

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So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add anything we’ve inevitably missed!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Stacie says:

    Can’t believe you didn’t pick any of the Revolution ones they had so many the last ep!

  2. Claire says:

    The “you’ll always be my girl” scene walked a very fine tightrope with little to no net below — one wrong move and you got one ugly mess to clean up.

    I think the saving grace here was Emily and her ability to deliver Felicity in a very true uninhibited Felicity fashion. A very high Felicity is the one who suggested the words and Oliver simply delivered them back to her in a very sincere fashion.

    When I heard this dialogue was to be used by Oliver to an unknown, I felt adamant that it could not be to Felicity who was on the receiving end — one professional partner does not say that to another professional partner. But where I harp on the writers for some wonky story lines, I will give credence to them on this — maybe about 1% credence :) The rest goes to Emily Bett Rickards and Stephen Amell. The line is corny, but at the same time oh so drunk Felicity, and yet EBR and SA were able to pull it off and convey the depth O & F friendship and not have it tank. You get genuine affection. I don’t think Felicity meant anything more in what she said, and I don’t think Oliver was demeaning her by using her words. Good scene.

    • wonderwall says:

      There were a lot of people who had problems with this scene and to be honest I never quite understood why. People wanted that scene to mean more, but why would it when Felicity is as high as a kite? I thought it was an adorable scene where Oliver reassures Felicity!

      • megan says:

        I had a problem with it, but I hated the entire episode. I thought Sara was condescending with her “you’re cute,” the jacket comment, and the “I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t so brave.” If that’s their way of trying to write another likable female character (who isn’t Felicity), I’m seriously concerned about the direction of this show. Brave is a word I use when I’m trying to comfort my daughter after she gets her shots. It IS patronizing. And so is his comment at the end. I don’t quite understand why the Arrow writers are getting praised for passing the Bechdel test when they basically ended the episode with Felicity getting Oliver’s approval–“You’ll always be my girl.” So, her self-worth is still tied to how Oliver feels about her or thinks of her? This is supposed to be the same Felicity who’s gone up against him countless times. Also, so many people love that she asked for more aspirins. Um, the girl’s supposed to be a genius. You’re telling me she doesn’t know that Dig gave her something stronger than aspirins? This episode treated Felicity like a child and dumbed her down. It was the opposite of empowering. I don’t need the scene to mean more…I just need it to not violate characterization that has already been set up and undo a season’s worth of character growth.

        • starbreeze says:

          I could not agree more with your comment. It is not a matter of wanting to mean more, on the contrary I didn’t like it at all, meaning or no meaning. The whole episode was a joke and Felicity looked like a child that needs her parents to see that she’s grown up

        • JC says:

          Yeah, there wasn’t much I liked about the episode either, and I rarely say that about an Arrow episode. I had a lot of high hopes for this episode that it did not deliver on. Felicity’s entire storyline made me cringe. I think the only scene of hers I liked was the one with Diggle. I like Sara, but she came across like she was talking to a kid sister, rather than a grown woman her own age. And the scene with Oliver was also cringeworthy.

          • megan says:

            Oliver was insufferable. For the life of me, I don’t understand why there is all this praise for that scene between Oliver and Laurel. I’m not sure what he’s talking about when he says he’s been there for her and is done running after her. When, exactly, did he run after her? Didn’t he run away from her when Tommy died to return to the island for five months? Didn’t he tell Thea to send her home when she got drunk? Didn’t he sleep with her sister, again, after she was poisoned and in the hospital and THEN show up at a family dinner with said sister (who he invited on a boat 6 years earlier after he agrees to move in with Laurel?) And he’s the one giving up on Laurel? It’s like the show runners were relying so heavily on Laurel not being a likable character that they wrote this speech and thought no one would notice that it was full of crap. I have never been a Laurel fan, but I so wanted her to slap him when he was feeding her all that BS. Lance gave her a similar speech a few episodes ago, only he was the right person to do it. But for that to come from Oliver and for Laurel to respond with “Oh yeah, I should apologize to my sister…” She should have been outraged. So, in one episode, they took the character development of four people and flushed it down the toilet: Oliver went from sensitive vigilante to sanctimonious hypocrite, Sara went from tortured murdered to patronizing bartender, Laurel went from angry to repentant after a speech that should have had her reaching for fishnet stockings to strangle Oliver with, and Felicity went from genius to dumb blonde.

            There was only one quote in that episode that deserves to make it on this list and it’s from Moira: “If you don’t want to pretend to be mother and son, then don’t throw parties in MY home.” At least one person noticed Oliver was an idiot in this episode, and she deserves a shoutout for that.

          • JC says:

            No, now that I don’t agree with. Oliver has been running after Laurel continually since returning from the island, prioritizing her over everyone and everything else (except his secret of course). It hasn’t be so obvious this season as it was last season (when it was painfully obvious – even Diggle called him out on it, rightfully), but even this season he goes after her to ask if she is ok after she tries to get his mother the death penalty, and he goes after Blood on her say so even against his own better judgement. It’s only after that that he backs off from her in a big way. (No seriously, it’s like everyone in this fandom developed a mass case of selective memory on this point the instant he slept with Sara.) I think it was beyond stupid of Oliver to have gone to the dinner with Sara, and I hated the “loved you for half my life” line, but I thought everything else was spot on. And I’m apparently one of the few people in the fandom that don’t have any problems with Oliver and Sara being together currently. Yeah, there were better times to let Laurel know that, but beyond that, I don’t think they’re doing anything wrong by being in a relationship currently. Honestly, I don’t blame Laurel for reacting the way she did, especially the way she found out (although there was no call to drag her dad into it – that was just petty viciousness on her part), but candidly, Sara and Oliver’s relationship is no longer any of her business.
            No, what I hated about the episode was how Felicity was treated. I doubt the writers meant it to come off like it did, but she was written and treated like a child throughout nearly the entire episode, like a little sister trying to imitate the big kids and chase after them and prove herself good enough to be part of the big kids club. And I felt like both Sara and Oliver treated her like a little sister at the end, with basically a pat on the head and a “you did good kid”. Like she was Sin’s age. It was really annoying.

          • megan says:

            You’re right–I didn’t take into account season 1 and that’s a great point. But the issue, for me, is still there: he did most of that (except for the trial part…which I blocked out because that was another episode I hated–the trial part of it, not the Vertigo part) as the Arrow, not as Oliver. So from where Laurel is standing, I don’t understand why his speech would make her suddenly realize her mistakes. My number one problem with the whole Oliver-Laurel relationship is I’ve never bought that he loved her, so when he said “I’ve loved you half my life,” I just went “WHAT? She suggested you move in together, you went off with her sister. You ran away. That’s the very definition of running away!” But I agree: the Felicity part was absolutely disgusting, and there was almost nothing (except Moira’s line, and the sliding down the staircase part) that made this episode enjoyable for me. And what makes it even worse are the comments about how “Felicity is so badass”, “Oliver said ‘You’ll always be my girl, swoon” “Felicity is so cute when she’s high.” Felicity being “cute” is the entire reason this episode sucked. Let’s stay away from cute and make her truly badass–and giving her her confidence back would be a huge step in the right direction.

      • clearhaven says:

        I liked the scene, it was cute. However, I had mixed feelings about Oliver in this episode. As for Sara, I almost disliked her.

        First of all, I believe it was really wrong of Sara to invite Oliver for the family dinner. That was very insensitive. Considering the fact it was both their actions that inadvertently tore the family apart, Sara needed to bond with her family alone. To top it off, they now let it be known they were ‘continuing’ from where they had left off. I believe Laurel’s tantrum didn’t do that moment justice. I am not a big Laurel fan, but when you see her perspective, you’ll understand her outbursts.

        Also, that stupid martyr speech Olly gave Laurel really grated my nerves. Talk about dodging bullets and turning tables. Okay, right, Laurel is not the only having issues but here’s this: her boyfriend dies in a fire, shortly after she discovers a villain but is proven wrong, her sister who slept with her boyfriend is back from the dead and has started again. It’s really all too much. What really threw me off was his ‘I’m done chasing you’ blah blah. When he’s been sleeping around with half the women of starling city. lol.FIne, I’m exaggerating but it’s annoying when a person can’t see the wrong in their actions. I always felt olly’s attentions to Laurel were more like an atonement, but NEVER out of love. I saw no love there.

        As for Sara, well, I just didn’t like her condescending attitude towards Felicity. I especially hated that punching training scene between her and Felicity; the way she forcefully separated Felicity’s legs.Thank you grand master *rme*. And really Felicity has been the backbone of that team, without her they wouldn’t have been able to achieve half of what they have. I just wish she knew that and didn’t think it was necessary to literally take a bullet.

        Oh well, the ending made everything worth it :D #Slade!

  3. Matt says:

    All the great quotes from last week’s rocks solid Dallas premiere, and that’s the one that gets picked? Come on!

  4. jenferner8 says:

    You used the wrong Big Bang quote! Really it should have been bonus quote. It should have been the one where Raj has Howard’s new wand shaped remote control. Raj discover he really likes it and says something like “it’s my new favorite brown wand”

  5. Donna says:

    “Adjust your ascots and back up the Mystery machine, McScooby’s got a clue” Tony DiNozzo NCIS – classic!

  6. JJ says:

    As funny as Marshall’s speech was, it’s too bad the HIMYM writers didn’t do their research about how one becomes a State Supreme Court judge because they got it totally wrong. The Governor of your state appoints you as a Supreme Court Justice, you don’t actually get elected. After you serve your initial term you are up for what’s called a retention election, which means you aren’t actually running against someone, the citizens of your state just get to vote on whether they want you to remain in the Supreme Court or whether they want you out depending on how well they think you’re doing. If you retain the majority of the vote, you stay in office and if you do not retain the majority of the vote you are voted off the court and the governor appoints someone else. You don’t actually run against anyone.

    • jj says:

      I get your point, but that scene was set in the future. Maybe it will be different then…

    • steven says:

      Marshall could be a State Supreme Court Judge of Gotham City, which is actually Detroit.

    • Aly says:

      They also made Ted a (full) Professor and without a PhD that’s totally ridiculous. I’ve accepted that the HIMYM world is clearly better than the real one.

  7. Peter says:

    That Glee quote from Sue is classic! So funny and so true!

    • Angela says:

      I liked that line as well. Whatever one thinks about the general direction of the show, it’s nice to know that Sue still manages to get in a few good one-liners here and there :).

  8. Ryan says:

    “International House of Psychopaths” quote from The Following

  9. Margaret says:

    “eh, he’s seen worse” -Juliette to Avery after Glenn walked in on them. Hilarious!

  10. lll says:

    The butt dialing quote from Lionel Fusco on person of interest was hilarious.

  11. Brendan says:

    “How did we come up with the criteria for brains? I’d like to see that data.” —- which is exactly what I said about the Beauty tribe when I first saw them. But seriously, there is no way to know if someone is smart or strong on Survivor until they have already been on the show. Some people may seem smart or strong but fall flat when tested (like James, who had the biggest muscles around but never really pulled his own weight). That’s why they should have done this three tribe theme for an all stars season and put the 6 smartest (Rob, Cochran and Natalie), 6 strongest (like Ozzy, Tom and Kim) and 6 most beautiful (Parvati, Jeff, Silas) and let them go nuts. But this season has people that ‘think’ they are smart, strong or pretty and so the theme is a total flop.