Remember that long-delayed first kiss that Travis and Laurie finally shared in the Cougar Town Season 4 finale? Well, apparently it lasted all the way to the start of the wildly inappropriate but brutally funny Season 5 premiere — based on the Cul-de-Sac crew’s “awww/blech” responses and Jules’ CTRL+ALT+DEL inability to acknowledge the newbie couple’s living-room PDA.
In “All or Nothing,” Jules got uncomfortably close to her son and her pal/former assistant, Andy dealt with fallout from letting Stan watch A Nightmare on Elm Street and Bobby — flush with cash from international sales of Penny Can — got presented with a long-overdue bar tab from Grayson. Here’s how it all played out:
WORST SHOWER SCENE SINCE PSYCHO | Jules’ attempts to get comfortable with Travis and Laurie’s PDAs received a major setback when she accidentally walked in on them having sex in the shower, slipped, fell, and grabbed several of their body parts before she hit the floor. “So much skin. A tan and pale swirl,” she lamented later. Ultimately, though, Jules decided not to ignore the new couple’s love (despite a subsequent walk-in where she discovered her son’s “attentiveness” as a lover) and instead chose to embrace it fully. “We’re all in love with each other!” Jules exclaimed, with typical overzealousness.
FREDDIE’S DEAD? | Ellie raged against Andy after his decision to expose their young son to a classic horror film led to his inability to sleep. Fortunately, she caught wind of Andy’s plan to “violently murder” Tom in a Freddie Kruger mask in front of little Stan — though the sausage-link intestines were a nice touch — leading instead to a sit-down chat where the horror meister explained his decision to move to faraway Canada.
PENNYCAN ANTE | After learning about Bobby’s $14,000 Penny Can royalty check, Grayson presented his pal with a massive overdue tab. Bobby cluelessly failed to get the message — “I finished a book?” he asked with wonder, as Grayson presented him with the first of two notepads containing his unpaid receipts — but eventually, the lightbulb went off. In the end, he moved his prized used hottub into Grayson and Jules’ living room as a show of gratitude. Not that Jules was gonna let it stay there, of course.
Episode’s Best Zingers
“I don’t think it’s possible to overreact to accidentally grabbing your son’s erect penis.” –Grayson, confirming the appropriateness of Jules’ response to that shower horror
“Well, she reached out and grabbed onto my honks, but they were so sudsy from Trav washing them for 20 minutes.” –Laurie, explaining why she couldn’t stop Jules’ fall
“They were very dirty.” –Travis, elaborating on Laurie’s story
“I once had sex in a cemetery. I had ‘Frieda Rogers, loving wife and mother’ imprinted on my back for, like, two weeks.” –Laurie, sharing a tale from her past
“Season 5? Didn’t see that coming!” –This week’s title card
What did you think of the Cougar Town Season 5 premiere? What were your favorite punch lines? Take our poll below, then sound off in the comments!