American Horror Story: Coven Recap: Head Case

American Horror Story Coven RecapAlthough this week’s American Horror Story: Coven finds Cordelia setting in motion her plot to assassinate her mother, it’s what Marie does to Delphine that’ll really make your head spin. Keep reading. I’ll give you all the gory details…

RELATED | American Horror Story Season 4 Will Be a [Spoiler] Story

GRISLY MADAMS | As “The Sacred Taking” begins, Zoe and Madison try to bring Queenie back to Miss Robichaux’s, but she goes all “Dear diary, those girls were never really my friends!” on them. (Madison’s priceless reaction: “Boo friggin’ hoo.”) What’s more, the human voodoo doll warns that there’s a war brewing between Team Marie and Camp Fiona. (A war that apparently can’t be settled by a hair salon vs. prep school softball game.) In spite of Queenie’s defection, Cordelia is ready to proceed with her plan to kill Mommie Dearest — a plan that gets a big boost when Misty shows up seeking refuge (from Hank) with Auntie Myrtle (again rocking the wig she lifted from Grace Jones in Vamp). So what IS this big plan? Everybody has to put on black mantillas and Little Red Riding Hood cloaks for a ceremony called — ta-da! — the Sacred Taking! Uh-huh. So then what? Nothing much. Just Fiona has to commit suicide so that the new Supreme — who this week is Misty, Myrtle’s decided — can ascend to her position of power. Since Fiona has no intention of offing herself, Madison and then Myrtle reveal themselves to her and explain that the witch killer has two options: Down enough pills to take a perma-nap or burn at the stake. (Become “hash browns” is how Madison puts it.) Cornered, Fiona prepares for her OD by dressing up like Norma Desmond — so far as I can tell, not a requirement of the Sacred Taking — and swallows an Anna Nicole special.

PHOTOS American Horror Story Season 4 (and Beyond): 7 Possible, Mostly Plausible Premises

DIE JOB | Of course, Fiona doesn’t really die. Spalding’s spirit comes to her in her hour of need — ipecac in hand — and reveals not only that Misty is the Supreme du jour but also that Cordelia ordered the hit. The cancer patient is still none too thrilled to be stuck looking “less Samantha and more Endora every day,” but she’s also so proud of her daughter that she exclaims, “I might throw you a parade.” (Finding a suitable Mother’s Day card for her has GOT to be one of the Seven Wonders, right?) Anyway, it’s a good thing Fiona didn’t croak, because…

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT | After nut-next-door Joan gives Luke an Ajax colonic to purify him from the inside out, Nan — sensing his distress — rides to the rescue… just in time for Hank (apparently the worst shot this side of the Mississippi) to take aim at her and instead kill the religious fanatic and wound her son. Oh, don’t worry. Joan’s not dead for long. (Misty resurrects her quicker than Fiona can toss off a one-liner.) Plus, a stray blessed silver bullet tips off Cordelia — via a vision — that the incident is not, as the police suspect, a robbery gone wrong.

RELATEDCable Renewal Scorecard: What’s Cancelled? What’s Returning? What’s on the Bubble?

BAD HEAD | As the hour comes to a close, Cordelia gets another reason to be glad that Fiona is still alive to stand with her. See, while all this has been going on at Miss Robichaux’s, over at Marie’s chop shop, the voodoo queen has been getting damn tired of Delphine’s attitude. “Whatcha gonna do, kill me?” Madame LaLaurie taunts. “I can’t die.” True. But that kinda works to Marie’s advantage. Instead of killing her prisoner, she simply Hershel Greenes her and has her — still very-much-alive — noggin delivered to the doorstep of Miss Robichaux’s!

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Myrtle was particularly hilarious, I thought. Her excitement over digging out the robes for the Sacred Taking was plum adorable. (“Mothballs and history… It’s a cocktail I swoon for!”) And how bad did you feel for Madison when she overheard FrankenKyle forming his first sentences with Zoe… and one of them was “I love you.” Any way you slice it — sorry, Delphine… too soon? — fun episode. Hit the comments.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  1. Joey says:

    They gave Frances Conroy some great comedic moments in this episode. No matter what material she’s given, she always carries it out perfectly.

    • KB says:

      True that! The absolute best line ever uttered on this show came from Myrtle last night when she put voice to the suffering of the Salem witches who had to head south in covered wagons, “without a charcuterie or a bidet. Absolutely savage!”

  2. Rook says:

    So Misty is the supreme this week, I wonder whose gonna be it next week.

  3. Adam says:

    The show is entertaining enough to keep watching, but it’s started to get boring to me that they keep killing off characters only to bring them back to life right away. There’s not enough consequence to make it seem like there are actual stakes to anything. As much as I love Jessica Lange and enjoy her performance as Fiona, I sort of wish that the character died in this episode. It’d be effectively moving, and be the right kind of shake-up that the show needs.

    • Bee says:

      well at a certain point, i’m sure people will die.. PERMANENTLY lol especially now that we’re moving towards the end.

      • Mel says:

        Well, if Misty or the next Supreme-reviver or Voodoo Queen stop running around randomly bringing the deceased back then yea the dead would stay dead.

  4. kimberly Baker says:

    I like the show its good

  5. Jill says:

    I just gotta say, Ryan Murphy has mommy issues. These mother son relationships in these past 2 seasons have been so disturbing! And I agree, I wish Fiona had died & they had to figure out the supreme by themselves. Deal with Hank, the Jazzman & Marie all on their own

  6. Dan says:

    Personally, I think Zoe is the new Supreme (not just from the zombie ep). She seems to be effective at keeping out of Fiona’s sight, and she pissed off that Jazz dude pretty swiftly. Also a nice twist would be that ol’ Joan is blessing the bullets to kill witches, either way it’d be good to see what she does next ep. I’m really enjoying this series, much much better than the first 2.

    • KB says:

      Luke is the new supreme. His mother is an apostate witch – hence the bible-thumping, holy-rolling. She is trying to suppress the powers she can sense in her son. You heard it here.

  7. Britta Unfiltered says:

    Having never had a colonic or an enima before, I didn’t quite get what was happening in that scene, so I’m glad you cleared it up for me. Wouldn’t Ajax inside your body like that kill you?? Man, that is some serious child abuse. That has to be beat what Kyle’s mom was doing to him. And now that I’ve pictured what would happen to your body with Ajax going inside your anus, my entire rectum has just jumped up into my lower intestine.
    And I can’t believe that I’m just now barely getting the Samantha/Endora joke. But Bewitched was never really a show I liked to watch when I was young. I was more of an I Dream of Jeannie fan.

    • Mel says:

      Britta lol, seems we both are TWD and AHS fans? Anyhoo Bewitched was also a movie with Nicole Kidman as Samantha. Not just the show for reference point lol.

  8. Dav says:

    “she simply Hershel Greenes her…” Awww. Too soon man.

  9. Radha says:

    I feel sorry that Madison was killed and then brought back with no feeling, but I don’t feel bad that she pushed herself into Zoe’s relationship with Kyle. Are they seriously trying to tell me that she’s in love with Kyle now too?

  10. Matthew says:

    Maybe I’m just overreacting, but I’m a bit peeved about the Hershel comment. I wasn’t expecting Walking Dead spoilers when I clicked on a AHS recap, and I can’t be the only one that hasn’t seen that episode yet? I don’t know what the statute of limitations is on spoilers, but 4 days and in an article that has nothing to do with Walking Dead seems a little soon.

    • Mel says:

      Matthew AHS and TWD are the same genre, dearie. It’s a TV column/recap so pop culture references are always a good possibility. Maybe take it as a heads up to avoid these “recaps” unless you are caught up on every show you’d ever want to not be spoiled on…

      • Matthew says:

        Fair enough. It was just the fact that it was in a post of an unrelated show that surprised me. I don’t think it’s particularly unreasonable to be surprised by this, but I see your point.

    • dazja says:

      Gosh, it’s been 4 days already. You can’t expect everyone to hold back discussing or making jokes about the show just because you haven’t taken time to watch it.

      • Like I said, I could be overreacting and if no-one else agrees with me then I’m a-okay admitting I’m wrong, but you say “haven’t taken the time to watch it” like it’s my duty to keep with TV shows. I know a lot of people that don’t watch everything live, and either DVR it or buy online when the episodes become available. Sometimes it takes a couple of days to get to a show, and I was kind of surprised to see the plot point in a recap of another series. Other’s disagree, so I’m likely wrong. That’s all. You make it sound like I’m hell bent on trying to convince you all that the world is flat and you’re bashing your head against a globe in frustration.

  11. kevin says:

    I don’t get that madison vs. fiona scene, I thought fiona already knew madison wasn’t the supreme, from ep 4 where cordelia told everyone? and the sacred taking was a bit underwelming, i don’t like this ep at all and i’m a HUGE AHS fan

    • She thought Madison couldn’t be the next Supreme and had a tinge of regret killing her but Madison told Fiona she had resurrected herself so that would make Fiona doubt everything.

  12. Nina says:

    I loved this site, but calling it an “Anna Nicole special” is horribly rude and inappropriate. Done.

    • Mel says:

      Nina stop being such a prude. Anna Nicole was naught but a fleeting, drug addicted *faux-lebrity* akin to what the character Madison/Fiona are just with witchly powers. Period.

  13. vdofan says:

    I wonder what Marie Laveau will think of Queenie when/if she ever finds out that she got it on with Bastien right before he was killed…

  14. Ale says:

    Hey my question is if Misty is still alive, she freaking passed out or something after reviving Luke’s mom and I really hope she’s not dead cause I really like her.

    • ElleMo says:

      Ale, yes Misty is alive. After she brings someone/something back from the dead, she passes out. They showed that in the first episode she was previewed in.

      I too wonder what Marie will do once she finds out her new member seduced her boo.

      I can’t wait to find out who blinded Cordelia. I think the mommy dearest next door has something going on.

      I think this recap was hilariously on point! It was my first time here and I’ll be back!

  15. Sean says:

    I like Misty too. She is my favorite. I am not a big Queenie fan. Because she is a traitor to everyone. Love the actress, do not like the character. I noticed that Misty felt that something was wrong right before the shooting next door, but she was not feeling any of the Supreme feelings. Great episode.

    • RicFule says:

      Maybe she was sensing the death-to-come? Or did she sense the actual death? I’m currently burning a different show to a DVD, so I can’t check for reference.

      I mean, she had to sense Myrtle’s death to be able to get to the stake to revive her.