“Oh no, no, no — don’t you dare. Over my dead body will you inexplicably shoehorn in another Billy Joel song just to punctuate one of your weekly lessons that inevitably veers off into an acrid barrage of angst and affirmation.”
Thus spoke Glee‘s Sue Sylvester, attempting to put a halt to the lively musical vibe that percolated throughout “Movin’ Out,” a tribute to pop music’s Piano Man that brought with it the return of the Jake-Marley-Ryder triangle, a possible series endgame for Becky and the introduction of unexpected, possibly unwelcome sexual chemistry between Rachel and Sam. (I know, I know…too soon. But my guess is the attraction is more one-sided, Sam-to-Rachel, than the other way around. Time, of course, will tell.)
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While you ponder the possibilities of Samchel — ¡¡¡OR NOT!!! — let’s quickly recap this week’s key plot points:
* A McKinley career fair allowed Sue to mock the idea of a career in the arts, but it didn’t stop Blaine and Sam from visiting NYC to pursue what even Mr. Schue admitted was a dream with “zero job security and impossible odds.” Blaine nearly backed out of his NYADA audition, but Kurt sweetly identified his boyfriend’s reluctance (and sudden discussion of a pre-med track) as simple fear. Off screen, Blaine apparently nailed the audition, but I say if there’s something within the kid that craves a broader liberal arts-based future, maybe his fiancé should roll with it. (One of ‘em could probably use a steady income in the future, no?)
* Sam did not fare as well in his interview with a Hunter College admissions dean, to put it politely, and later admitted to Rachel he really wanted to be a male model. Rachel arranged for Funny Girl’s staff photographer to take some sample (shirtless) shots, which was enough to get him on the radar of a hilarious Tyra Banks as the head of the Bichette (bee-shay?) Agency. In the end, though, the toned himbo (with some help from Blaine, Kurt, Santana and Rachel) decided the aforementioned she-devil’s edict to lose 10 lbs wasn’t worth it. But an end-of-episode dance with Rachel during “Just the Way You Are” raised Santana’s psychic Mexican third eye(brow). Mine too, for that matter.
* Artie, much to Sue’s chagrin, stoked Becky’s dreams of college, eventually taking her to the University of Cincinnati to check out their programs for handicapable students. Sue’s “Beckretary,” despite her insecurities, loved the place, and decided she’d outgrown the “high school bitches” of McKinley.
* Marley rejected Jake’s peace offerings, which made the cheating Puckerman get all huffy and self-righteous. Ryder, meanwhile, siezed the opportunity to take Marley out on a date — but she cut him short when he misinterpreted their good time as a signal that she was ready to go steady. (I know, the kids probably don’t call it “going steady” anymore, but deal with it anyway!)
GRADES FOR THE WEEK’S MUSICAL NUMBERS
Sam & Blaine, “Movin’ Out” — Grade: B (their emergence from that Subway station was no match for Santana’s “Girl on Fire,” alas)
Blaine, “Piano Man” — Grade: B+
Jake, “My Life” — Grade: C+ (not sure why dude thinks he gets to be indignant!)
Artie, “Honesty” — Grade: A- (one of Artie’s best vocals in recent memory, yes?)
Ryder, “An Innocent Man” — Grade: A- (wow, that kid has nice teeth — and a nice voice!)
Kurt, Blaine, Santana, Rachel and Sam, “Just the Way You Are” — Grade: B (I love the NYC characters’ dynamic and voices, but I just can’t get with Samchel)
EPISODE’S BEST QUOTES
“So, you’re black. That must be interesting.” –Sam, whiffing his Hunter College admission interview
“Carmen Tibideaux is a classicist, so for your audition let’s try to avoid shocking patterns and anything that says ‘Look at me, I’m the center of attention — and this primary color proves it!’” –Kurt, advising Blaine on his NYADA audition
“If you cheated on me again, I will not accept sex addiction as an excuse.” –Kurt, pondering worse case scenarios as Blaine prepares to confess something
“Your midwestern eyes have the vacant stare of a cow’s. I don’t have any of those on my roster.” –Modeling agency head Bichette (Tyra Banks), sizing up Sam
“I’m not gonna be able to survive if you and your Hagberry are gonna be tickling those ivories, belting out gay hits from Rent and Showboat all day.” –Santana, reacting to Blaine’s purchase of a piano for Santana, Kurt and Rachel’s apartment
“I don’t have any feelings, Becky.” –Sue, reacting to Becky’s concern about hurting her coach’s feelings
“Well, that is just the ‘Screw you!’ spirit employers love.” –Sue, responding to Sam’s announcement that he refuses to lose 10 pounds to please the head of a modeling agency
And with that, I turn things over to you…
What did you think of “Movin’ Out”? What was your fave musical number? Were you intrigued or alarmed by the Rachel-Sam chemistry? Sound off in the comments!