AHS: Coven Recap: Living Dead Girl

AHS- CovenZoinks, Zoe! In “The Axeman Cometh” episode of American Horror Story: Coven, the teenage witch not only rings up a long-dead serial killer and reunites with FrankenKyle, she also recruits Misty to resurrect Madison. Does the starlet make a comeback? Read on…

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HATCHET JOB | After we rewind to the murder of sax-playing serial killer the Axeman (Magic City’s Danny Huston) at the hands of Miss Robichaux’s class of 1919 (including Newsroom’s Grace Gummer), Zoe uses her predecessors’ Ouija board to ask the spirit world to help her locate Madison. And — what are the odds? — the maniacal musician replies, leading her right to Spalding’s creepy attic playroom. Though the butler lies that he offed the ingénue so that he could hook up with her corpse, Zoe isn’t buying it. But, before she smokes out the real culprit, she wants to give her gal pal a pulse again. Enter Misty, who’s pretty much had it with surprise houseguest Kyle. It’s bad enough that he’s just about the worst conversationalist this side of Myrtle — and she’s buried in healing mud! — but when he smashes the sorceress’ radio during an incest flashback, she’s officially done. (“He broke Stevie,” she cries.) Nonetheless, with Zoe’s help, she manages to revive Madison. (Her first words: “I need a cigarette.” Good one.) Unfortunately, Miss Hollywood doesn’t recall who slit her throat, only that, instead of heaven, “there’s nothing on the other side.”

AV CLUB | Meanwhile, for Cordelia’s sake, Fiona begins undergoing chemotherapy — only to discover that, for her, its first side effect is telepathy. At least when she’s not being tortured by the voices she hears (a la Nan or Sookie), our Supreme gets to delight in the fact that, at last, her newly blinded daughter can see that Hank — or, as she calls him, Jughead — is a scumbag. Cordie doesn’t yet have a crystal clear picture of her husband’s misdeeds, but she knows there’s a redhead, and that’s enough for her. “You will be accountable for every single betrayal,” she hisses, “no matter how deep you think your secrets are buried.” Unfortunately for Mommie Dearest, Cordie also is given a peek at her burning “Auntie Myrtle” at the stake. You’d think that, afterward, neither of their days could get any worse, but do they ever. The Axeman materializes in Cordie’s bedroom and terrorizes her until Zoe makes good on her promise to release him. And then, who should sidle up next to Fiona just as she’s drowning her sorrows and thinking, “What I really want is just to belong to somebody,” but the ultimate lady killer — the Axeman!

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STRANGE BEDFELLOWS | Frantic over what Cordelia has figured out — and more so, what she’s likely to figure out NEXT — Hank makes a beeline for Marie Laveau’s. There, it’s revealed that — OMG! — he’s actually a witch hunter that she hired ages ago to do away with the descendants of Salem! (In fact, that’s why he pursued, then murdered his redhead — he’d eavesdropped on her Miss Robichaux’s interview with Cordie and learned that she was a witch!) Mind you, Marie is NOT happy to see him. Firstly, walking through her front door isn’t exactly discreet. And secondly, she’s paying him to “clean house, not play house.” To that end, she orders him to march on back to Miss Robichaux’s and “bring me their heads — all of ’em!” — or else!

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? At the very least, you’ve gotta be thrilled that Madison is no longer just Spalding’s baby doll. Were you surprised to find out that Hank was in cahoots with Marie Laveau? How will Fiona deal with the one-two punch of both Madison and Myrtle being back among the living? Have you managed to work “witch up” into casual conversation yet? And am I the only one who was bummed that we didn’t get any Delphine this week? Hit the comments!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Maria says:

    Meh. For an episode where a lot happened, it was missing some of its bite.

  2. Kre says:

    Fiona and the Axeman, interesting.

  3. Remer says:

    The biggest problem with this season (and much like the original Horror House season) is that there’s no proper lore established with magic. Bringing someone back to life? Fine, quite easy. Curing someone of blindness? Nope, can’t be done. What are the rules and boundaries of the magic in this world? It was the same with the ghosts in the first season. They were stuck in the house but some became ghosts and others didn’t. There were no rules. It all becomes too annoying and distracting. But then again, this is a Ryan Murphy show. Should I have expected differently?

    • Katie says:

      IKR? Madison had been dead for more than a week yet Misty could bring her back but Cordelia stays blind? What the heck?

      • Matt says:

        The witches all have their specific powers, it seams. Misty has the power to bring people back to life, but not to heal the blind. I get the impression that even the supreme witches are somewhat limited – they have more powers, but can’t do everything they’d ever want to do.

      • DL says:

        I have a feeling if Misty covered Cordelia’s face in mud for a few days she might be able to cure the blindness. It seems she (and Fiona) can restore life, but to actually heal injury requires more time and effort.

    • nate says:

      havent you been paying attention?? they can only bring someone back to life NOT heal them

      • Remer says:

        And that makes sense? Resurrection is easier than healing? That’s just stupidity.

        • Lisa says:

          It’s not easier it’s just Mistys specific power

        • Matt says:

          It doesn’t have anything to do with what’s easier. They have specific powers.

        • abz says:

          She can ressurect someone depending on how long they’ve been dead (like she said with the case of Madison), but that does not guarantee that they will be brought back to the way they used to be (form, behaviour, etc.). Kyle is a messed up Frankenstein, who knows what Myrtle will be like when she comes out from the dirt, and I have a feeling Madison will be messed up in some way but we haven’t seen it yet.

      • MLO says:

        Um, Mr. Snotty Pants Nate. Have YOU not been paying attention? Did Misty not heal Kyle? Is she not currently healing Myrtle? Did she not put that mud on Madison’s arm to ‘heal’ it? Clearly, the fact that Cordelia remains blind is plot driven – to give her the ‘second sight’ so she can see what her hubby’s been up to and, I’m sure, for future revelations.

        • Matt says:

          Didn’t Misty say it was the mud that had healing powers? It was something like that. The swamp is able to heal. Plus, Misty was in and out to revive Madison, so she wouldn’t have healed Cordelia anyway. She wasn’t there, and no one asked her to heal Cordelia.

          • abz says:

            I’m still iffy on on whether or not I think Misty is actually really alive. Maybe I missed something, but they burned her in the premiere, right? So does the power of resurrection apply to herself as well? Can she basically never die because she can always revive herself?
            I think the mud is good to use for dismembered body parts for when she resurrects them like she used with Kyle and now with Madison, Also, Misty can’t heal Cordelia because Cordelia isn’t dead and she only has power to resurrect the dead..

    • Butters says:

      Remer –

      I completely agree with you. I think that poster’s who respond negative to your post are probably people who work for Ryan Murphy or maybe the cast Glee defending their boss. Your point is very well taken and thought out. Congrats on providing a very insightful criticism.

  4. Aaron says:

    PLEASE. Make your headlines more UK-viewer-friendly. A.k.a. try not to spoil the entire show 10 seconds after it airs. Thanks.

  5. Fernando says:

    Finally Sarah is back on track, this is the type of writing they should always write for her. She’s just an amazing actress.

  6. trae says:

    Marie’s line about a cracker staying planted so needs to make the weeks quote list.

  7. Katie says:

    I’m thinking the last episode with be Cordelia leading the girls to burn Fiona, and I do think they’ll also prevail over Marie Laveau mainly due to the reveal that she basically restarted the feud up again and that poor which hunter doesn’t stand a chance LOL.

    • amy says:

      no more HANKY PANKY for HANKY now that his ‘LITTLE WIFEY’ (MS MARIA) can see where her HANKY has been (thanks to new blindness powers). HANKY (WITCH HUNTER) had better watch out .. soon to be …HANK WITH NOT HANKY……that is one BADASS WITCH ….

      • Mel says:

        I am just glad Hank offed that dumb redhead witch B!tch. she was annoying and her using her powers like she was a Madison reject, boo hoo she got dumped and used pyromania. Glad now as to Hank offing her. A stupid witch is useless and will only be a waste of talent.

  8. A.J. says:

    Best line ever: “when I plant a fat-ass cracker bitch, I expect her to stay planted!”

  9. Chris says:

    I was pretty bored this week. The last two weeks were great…this…meh.

  10. hipster says:

    So no one dies. Ever. Is there really anything at stake?

    • woodyinho says:

      THIS. There’s nothing at stake anymore since Misty can just resurrect anyone.

    • gogo says:

      I understand where you’re coming from but since I love all of the actresses and their characters so much I don’t mind it. I was stunned when Myrtle was burned last week and even though I thought it was a stretch to see her back in the mix has a lot of potential. And the same with Madison, I love her bitchiness. So far I’m enjoying the ride this season.

    • Mel says:

      People CAN stay dead. Like Misty said, once the rot sets in it’s alot harder to bring them back (she needed Zoe’s magic boost for Madison). I doubt she can bring someone back without a body, etc. There are some “loose” set of rules. Nothing is truly hard fast except for the Supreme changing of guard etc.

  11. sarah says:

    i was actually pretty happy madison died shame shes back emma roberts really isn’t a great actress.

  12. Joey says:

    The acting of those class of 1919 witches was atrocious. I was almost tempted to turn off the episode. I knew that better acting was coming though, so I’m glad I didn’t.

    Seems like Sarah Paulson was born to be a scream queen.

    • Butters says:

      The acting of the class of 2013 witches is also atrocious and painful. They should never have those actress try to carry an episode. They lack the experience and talent of the older actress. Emma Roberts is not that bad, but the other three need an intervention from James Lipton at the Actors Studio.

      • Sarah says:

        Gabourey Sidibe (The Voodoo-girl) is a Oscar nominated actress, she is brilliant!

        • Butters says:

          She is not when compared to the work that Jessica Lange and Angela Bassett are doing. Being Oscar nominated does not mean you are a good actress just good in a role. She is not convincing here.

      • Joey says:

        I think that the acting from the 2013 witches is serviceable, although I feel like I should be getting more out of Taissa’s performance. Whenever she’s talking, I just see Violet Harmon from Murder House talking.

        When Fiona talks, I see Fiona talking. I don’t see Constance Langdon or Sister Jude talking. That’s a big difference, to be able to be seen in other roles. Taissa’s definitely pretty one-note to me.

  13. DavidSask says:

    Evan and Emma need to be officially dead on the show, enough of the characters and the actors, its dragging it down!

  14. abz says:

    ANGELA BASSETT WAS ON FIRE THIS EPISODE!!!!! That line about planting a cracker bitch made the episode. And can I say I love it every time she says the word “witch”! I don’t know why her and Gaboure Sidibe are considered special guest stars and not in the opening credits when they’re pretty much in every episode.
    Glad Madison is back. And once again Sarah Paulson is just amazing. I really want to see how she reacts when she touches Fiona again.
    Not too big a fan of this Axeman character

  15. Last night’s show was a little dull for me. There were a couple of cute, quirky lines but it just didn’t have the energy, the excitement, the electricity of the episodes before it.

  16. diana says:

    Didnt like the acting of the 1919 witche class? Thats funny because the actress playing the supreme i think was Meryril Streeps daughter…suppose to be really good and has a reputation to be as good as her mother. I will have to go back and watch because i dont remember thinking she was awful. Maybe you guys missed something?