Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From The Originals, S.H.I.E.L.D., SNL, Broke Girls and More

Wait a second! How’d it get to be Nov. 10 already?

Actually, don’t answer that question. Let’s instead distract ourselves with our regular Sunday feature, Quotes of the Week, packed with the best one-liners from the small screen over the last eight days.

RELATED | Who Is TVLine’s Performer of the Week?

This time around, we’ve got a zany Saturday Night Live catchphrase, a racy Bones observation, a literary reference from The Originals, a musical interlude from Mom and so much more. So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add anything we’ve inevitably missed!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Drew says:

    We should just rename this weekly article “Felicity Says…” because she always wins.

  2. Apples says:

    Castle and B-99, aww yes.
    New Girl out of the shows that I do watch, simply for tackling that.

  3. Ha ha! I laughed so hard at Kerry Washington saying that ! that was really good !

  4. Ana Rubio says:

    So fun =)

    Loved how Beckett told no to Castle idea to a space wedding! hahaha only Castle

  5. Bruce_F says:

    Diaz from Brooklyn 9-9 is great. She killed me with that “bone down” line this week.

  6. Cheryl says:

    Wow! Not one of the many gems from Supernatural’s “Dog Dean Afternoon” One of the series many hilarious episodes with Sam and Dean Winchester.

  7. Badpenny says:

    The New Girl line was awesome, and too true. I cracked up laughing when I heard it live last Tuesday.

  8. enri says:

    I loved the sleepy hollow line. Basket face!

  9. bonesfan says:

    My favorite this week came from Raymond Reddington from The Blacklist:
    I’m not a gumball machine Lizzie..you can’t just twist the handle whenever you want a treat.

  10. wordsmith says:

    That line from SHIELD was terrible, but May shooting it down immediately afterwards sold it.

  11. Sally says:

    How can you forget TVD!
    Silas: “Knock knock, who’s there? The mayor. Mayor who? No one, that’s the joke. No one’s there because I killed the mayor.”
    Damon: “AKA, put the damn crossbow down Pocahontas.”
    Damon: “It’s called being secure. I can tell you believe in that by the way you wear your hair.”
    Damon: “Elena, meet Crazy Pants. Crazy Pants, meet Elena.”

    • itiswhatitis says:

      Also Tessa when she compared Elena to a duck: “Maybe I can lure one inside. Got Elena in, how much smarter could a duck be?”
      Oh and Katherine: “What? Are you the sandwich police?”

  12. Riley says:

    My favorite was from Boardwalk Empire episode 9: “My name is Nelson Van Alden, take off your nightgown!”

  13. CourtTV says:

    From New Girls: “Serpentine!” Referencing one of the funniest movie scenes ever.

  14. gracenotpark says:

    Delighted to see the H50 line! McG, Danno, and a very straight-faced but snarky Chin toss out worthy one-liners every single episode. Kono gets to deliver a few too, never with a straight face. Her castmates clearly crack her up. Me too.

  15. GildedRose says:

    Felicity Smoak on Arrow always has the best lines! She always makes me laugh every week. The basketface comment on Sleepy Hollow was great too.

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