Quotes of the Week: Best Zingers From The Originals, S.H.I.E.L.D., SNL, Broke Girls and More

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Wait a second! How’d it get to be Nov. 10 already?

Actually, don’t answer that question. Let’s instead distract ourselves with our regular Sunday feature, Quotes of the Week, packed with the best one-liners from the small screen over the last eight days.

RELATED | Who Is TVLine’s Performer of the Week?

This time around, we’ve got a zany Saturday Night Live catchphrase, a racy Bones observation, a literary reference from The Originals, a musical interlude from Mom and so much more. So click through the gallery below for our latest batch of honorees, then hit the comments to weigh in on your faves — and add anything we’ve inevitably missed!

Comments (25)

  • We should just rename this weekly article “Felicity Says…” because she always wins.

    Comment by Drew – November 10, 2013 11:15 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Wait. Second thought…

      “I really hope that’s pee and not blood… Why didn’t I opt for water?” — Robin Williams, “The Crazy Ones”

      Comment by Drew – November 10, 2013 11:20 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
      • Sorry but Felicity still wins against Mork

        Comment by Patrick Maloney – November 10, 2013 09:27 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Castle and B-99, aww yes.
    New Girl out of the shows that I do watch, simply for tackling that.

    Comment by Apples – November 10, 2013 11:42 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Ha ha! I laughed so hard at Kerry Washington saying that ! that was really good !

    Comment by Hilla Osovsky – November 10, 2013 12:17 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • So fun =)

    Loved how Beckett told no to Castle idea to a space wedding! hahaha only Castle

    Comment by Ana Rubio – November 10, 2013 12:19 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • First Castle brought land on the moon..and now a space wedding? His head is truly out of bounds!

      Comment by Rich Abey – November 11, 2013 01:27 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Diaz from Brooklyn 9-9 is great. She killed me with that “bone down” line this week.

    Comment by Bruce_F – November 10, 2013 12:19 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Wow! Not one of the many gems from Supernatural’s “Dog Dean Afternoon” One of the series many hilarious episodes with Sam and Dean Winchester.

    Comment by Cheryl – November 10, 2013 12:32 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • ITA, one of the funniest they ever done. My personal favorite was the crack about the vegan bakery.

      Comment by Cassandra – November 10, 2013 02:40 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • The New Girl line was awesome, and too true. I cracked up laughing when I heard it live last Tuesday.

    Comment by Badpenny – November 10, 2013 01:41 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I loved the sleepy hollow line. Basket face!

    Comment by enri – November 10, 2013 02:10 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • My favorite this week came from Raymond Reddington from The Blacklist:
    I’m not a gumball machine Lizzie..you can’t just twist the handle whenever you want a treat.

    Comment by bonesfan – November 10, 2013 02:52 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • That line from SHIELD was terrible, but May shooting it down immediately afterwards sold it.

    Comment by wordsmith – November 10, 2013 02:53 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Coulson’s line wasn’t meant to be funny by itself. It was a set-up for May’s.

      Comment by Andy – November 10, 2013 03:06 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • How can you forget TVD!
    Silas: “Knock knock, who’s there? The mayor. Mayor who? No one, that’s the joke. No one’s there because I killed the mayor.”
    Damon: “AKA, put the damn crossbow down Pocahontas.”
    Damon: “It’s called being secure. I can tell you believe in that by the way you wear your hair.”
    Damon: “Elena, meet Crazy Pants. Crazy Pants, meet Elena.”

    Comment by Sally – November 10, 2013 11:35 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Also Tessa when she compared Elena to a duck: “Maybe I can lure one inside. Got Elena in, how much smarter could a duck be?”
      Oh and Katherine: “What? Are you the sandwich police?”

      Comment by itiswhatitis – November 11, 2013 05:07 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • My favorite was from Boardwalk Empire episode 9: “My name is Nelson Van Alden, take off your nightgown!”

    Comment by Riley – November 11, 2013 01:50 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • or when they guys in the alley told him to calm down- “I am calm.” Bang! Bang! Bang!

      Comment by katiemae1277 – November 11, 2013 12:50 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • From New Girls: “Serpentine!” Referencing one of the funniest movie scenes ever.

    Comment by CourtTV – November 11, 2013 02:06 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Delighted to see the H50 line! McG, Danno, and a very straight-faced but snarky Chin toss out worthy one-liners every single episode. Kono gets to deliver a few too, never with a straight face. Her castmates clearly crack her up. Me too.

    Comment by gracenotpark – November 11, 2013 07:20 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Felicity Smoak on Arrow always has the best lines! She always makes me laugh every week. The basketface comment on Sleepy Hollow was great too.

    Comment by GildedRose – November 11, 2013 09:06 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
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