In Sunday’s episode of True Blood — “You’re No Good” — Billith decides that he had his premonition of all his frenemies being deep-fried by the sun so that he could change the future and save them. (So, uh, perhaps the episode should’ve been titled “Okay, Maybe You’re Kinda Good”?) Moreover, he’s so convinced that he is now immortal that he greets the morning sun with arms outstretched — you know, Godric and/or boy band style. Unfortunately, like Godric before him (but sadly very few boy bands), Billith bursts into flames. So, if he isn’t the key to enabling vampires to come out of the shadows, who is? Read on to find out!
BALL OF TRANSFUSION | Remembering that drinking Sookie’s fairy blood allowed for daywalking, Billith sends Jessica to retrieve the scientist who synthesized Tru Blood while he himself pays his ex a visit… minus his manners. “You’re not a god,” Sookie yells after he enters her house uninvited, “you’re just an a–hole!” Needless to say, she refuses to make a, erm, donation to his cause. In response, he tells her that she’s dead to him. (Sadly, she does not reply, “I know ya are, but what am I?”) In any case, it turns out, Billith may not need Sookie’s blood after all: When he gets a whiff of a toy that Andy’s half-fae daughters have played with, the Grinchy look on his face says he’s just had a wonderful, awful idea!
NO “FAIR” | Of course, Billith isn’t the only vampire out there who wants Sookie’s blood — so does Warlow, who Grandpa Niall explains wants it not because it’s fairy blood but because it’s royal fairy blood. (Well, la di da!) Later, out hunting for the bogeyman, Niall goes all fae CSI at the enchanted Studio 54 and learns that his quarry — apparently a dreadful party pooper! — massacred all the pixies. But at least Ben is still alive and well, more than eager to help the Stackhouses battle Warlow. Now if only Sookie could figure out why she can tell when he and only he is reading her mind…
TAKE IT ON THE RUN | After Willa saves her neck (well, technically saves a part of her anatomy that’s much lower!) by revealing to Eric that the Governor is experimenting on vampires, the duo pick up Pam and Tara, say farewell forever to Fangtasia (sniff) and hide out at dippy Ginger’s. Briefly. They’re only there a few hours — just long enough for Willa to come on to Eric in his coffin — when Daddy traces a call that Ginger foolishly answers. Before he can burst in, though, Tara — impulsive minx that she is — takes off with the fangers’ hostage. (Oh, and those experiments Willa mentioned? As of this episode, they’re being conducted on Steve — with the full blessing of his embittered ex, Sarah.)
MIXED NUTS | When the Vampire Unity Society pays a visit to Alcide’s wolf pack, Sam uses the distraction —Busybody smorgasbord! Yum! — to get Emma back. But they haven’t taken two steps before the do-gooder’s decided that he can’t leave Nicole to die as either kibble or a bit. Meanwhile, Andy scores a few points with Holly by taking her to Fort Bellefleur (his and Terry’s childhood safe place) and telling her that, if she can ever forgive him for his a-“fae”-er, he’d like to be her Fort Bellefleur. (Aw.) And, throughout the whole episode, Jason’s condition just worsens and worsens. What is up with his headaches and fully clothedness? That just isn’t like him!
Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Wasn’t it a nice touch when they had tough guy Eric glance back wistfully at his Fangtasia throne before walking out? Can anyone explain why Jessica had to dress like a slutty schoolgirl if she was just going to kidnap rather than seduce the professor? And did Fox News write Sarah’s hilarious line, “If you really wanna do God’s work, you have to be in politics”? Hit the comments!