Call me crazy, but I don’t really understand the concept of guilty pleasures. Not to get all Lima Heights on you, but I likes what I likes — and I’ll tell ya what I want (what I really, really want) in my life and on my iPod, be it Spice Girls or Was (Not Was) or even Billie Piper.
And so it goes without saying that I had a blast watching tonight’s music-heavy installment of Glee, which centered around the New Directions’ kids confessing their hidden obsessions with Barry Manilow, ABBA, Phil Collins, Wham, Bobby Brown and the Spice Girls.
Yes, I’d kill for an hour that put the NYC storylines front and center and eased up on the less dramatic Lima proceedings, but I’m tired of bringing up that gripe every week. (Oh wait, I just did.)
So if you were too busy watching “Fondue for Two” on YouTube, here’s what you missed on an episode straightforwardly titled “Guilty Pleasures”:
IS THAT A ROLL OF BREATH MINTS IN BLAINE’S POCKET OR WAS HE JUST HAPPY TO BE HUGGING SAM? | Blaine, worried by the sight of Sam stealing pasta from the cafeteria, offered his pal $50, which prompted Trouty Mouth to admit his guilty pleasure/secret skill: He wasn’t hard up for food, he just digs making macaroni art. With Mr. Schue out sick with the flu, the dynamic duo took over New Directions and asked everyone to reveal their most embarassing musical obsessions via song. When Blaine, however, couldn’t reveal his dark truth — a major crush on Sam — Sam let him off the hook, revealing he’d known all year and, frankly, found it flattering. The duo hugged it out, and the bromance continued!
KITTY GETS HER CLAWS TRIMMED | Brittany called out Kitty for being “a two-faced lying slut who no one can trust” during an appearance on Fondue for Two, which prompted the catty underclassman to make more of an effort with her New Directions cohorts. In the process, she caught the eye of Artie — and since Sugar seems to have dissolved into a pan of boiling water — don’t be surprised if romance ensues.
JAKE SHOWS WHAT BROWN CAN DO FOR YOU | Jake got chastized for wanting to sing a Chris Brown tune (ewwwww!), then changed his mind under pressure from his female glee-club buddies. His subsequent followup on Bobby Brown didn’t sit well with Marley, either, but she forgave and they smooched and I hate to say it but they’re boring me silly right now. Give Ryder something to do, folks! What happened with the Manti Te’o business?
RACHEL MAKES BRODY AN OFFER HE CAN REFUSE | Despite Brody moving out of their apartment sans explanation, Rachel kept talking about reconcilliation, and so Santana leveled with her: He’s just a gigolo. Rachel promptly confronted him with a wad of cash, wondering if it was enough to buy his time for dinner, but from that dig bloomed a mature conversation. Brody said he knew Rachel had slept with Finn when she went to Ohio for Schue’s wedding — am I remembering it wrong, or didn’t she basically admit it to him (as part of what seemed like an open relationship) when she got back to NYC? — and he knew she still loved him. Rachel revealed his suspicions were true: She loved Finn and was maybe using Brody to make him jealous. And now it was over — well, after a rousing duet on “Creep” that Rachel pretty much dominated. Oh, and they’ll try to be mature and peacefully coexist at NYADA, so let’s not expect any more Brody drama. Rachel thanked her roomies for tipping her off, pronounced herself ready to audition for Funny Girl and maybe even ready to date older men. Say what now?
Grades for this week’s musical performances…
Sam, Blaine and New Directions: Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” | Grade: B+
Sam: Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana” | Grade: B
Blaine: Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)” | Grade: B
The New Directions’ Ladies: The Spice Girls’ “Wannabe” | Grade: A-
Jake: Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative” | Grade: B
Rachel & Brody: Radiohead’s “Creep” | Grade: A- (so happy to hear Lea Michele going for broke!)
Rachel, Kurt, Santana and New Directions: ABBA’s “Mama Mia” | Grade: B (why can’t the NYC folks ever do a song start to finish without Ohio butting in?)
The Week’s Best Zingers
“Just curious: Are you gonna go over to his house and straddle him while he’s passed out and rub some ointment on his chest?” –Sam, razzing Tina after her announcement about Mr. Schue’s flu
“Two things: That cat has about three weeks to live, and this fondue smells like hot, acrid barf.” –Kitty, making her introduction on Brittany’s internet show
“I like to fart around old people and watch the look on their faces because they just assume they did it.” –Kitty, confessing a guilty pleasure
Kurt talking about his boyfriend arm pillow and creepily/amusingly mentioning “Bruce’s warm, nonjudgmental embrace.”
“He beat up a windo at Good Morning America!” –Brittany, arguing to Jake why he shouldn’t cover a Chris Brown song
Your turn. What did you think of “Guilty Pleasures”? What was your favorite musical performance? Take our poll below, then sound off in the comments!