Gossip Girl Recaplet: Not-So-Sage Wisdom

The gossip is out! Monday night’s episode of Gossip Girl unveiled the truth about Nate’s new love, brought back two familiar faces and set up a partnership that could make the Upper East Side crowd very angry. Below, we review the episode’s biggest surprises.

PHOTOS | Gossip Girl Sneak Peek: Will a Last Dance Bring Chuck and Blair Together for Good?

NATE GOES YOUNG… VERY YOUNG | The Spectator boss finally finds a love interest closer to his own age. Unfortunately, she’s also underage and the daughter of Serena’s new boyfriend, Steven, who decks Nate. “It’s legal. I checked,” Sage reassures her man, but it’s still weird. Along those lines, which hook-up is more creepy: Nate and his high school-age gal or Rufus and Ivy? Most disturbing of all, though? The thought of Serena as a stepmother. It is, however, refreshing to see her and Nate display some self-awareness about their romantic track records – remember Aaron Rose and Bree Buckley? – in the following exchange:

SERENA: You’re right, we’ve made terrible relationship choices.
NATE: Or as Patti Stanger would say, our pickers are broken.

As for Sage’s feelings about her dad’s new girlfriend, they can pretty much be summed up by this: “No one in high school reads Gossip Girl anymore. It’s for old people.” Still, her vow to break them up makes us think she’s not Serena’s biggest fan.

THE LOSERS SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH | The launch of Blair’s new line rests heavily on a Women’s Wear Daily profile and, naturally, she manages to dig herself into a hole before it even starts by insulting the reporter: former classmate and rival Nelly Yuki! To top off Blair’s troubles, con artist/face from the past Poppy Lifton is getting some WWD attention alongside Queen B, and their designs use the same material. Blair accuses Nelly and Poppy of conspiring against her; they aren’t. Nelly simply lets B do what she does best — self-sabotage — which ends with her escorted from Serena’s fancy charity party with no article and no inspiration fabric. Bottom line: She has to start the line from scratch. As Tim Gunn would say, “Make it work!”

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THE SPECTATOR’S NEW COUP | Nelly also manages to impart some wisdom to Dan during her return. “They’ll never let us in,” she tells him. “The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can stop trying and start competing… We have the truth. That’s how the losers win. We stop playing by their rules and make our own.” That’s all it takes to make Dan give Nate the go-ahead to publish his Upper East Side tell-all in The Spectator. But if Humphrey is at risk of alienating his friends and family, wouldn’t Nate be doing the same by running the piece? After all, the people Dan has written so scathingly about are also those who he counts closest to him. Or is finding a new “get” for the site’s relaunch more important? Is Nate surprisingly ruthless?!

BART DOES IT AGAIN | Not a huge surprise here: We learn Bart slept with Amira in the past. However, the translator still has no idea which secret he’s trying to keep hidden. It isn’t until the episode’s end that she finally remembers that there was a man she and Bart spent time with during his business trip to Dubai; she then sends a photo of him to Chuck.

Gossip Girl fans, what did you think of Nelly and Poppy’s returns? What was the episode’s biggest surprise? Sound off in the comments!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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32 Comments
  1. Hojana says:

    rofl and the joke continues.

  2. Mim says:

    The fact that Dan thought Blair was his “friend” even after the torture she put his little sister through is completely laughable. Seriously?

    • Mick says:

      You do make a good point. Add to that he was willing to give up everything for her and she couldn’t even bother to break up with him to his face. This episode had me rooting for Dan to write his exposé because his “friends” haven’t been that loyal to him.

    • Alex says:

      Yeah when you actually think about the last four seasons and all the crap that has been done… I don’t care if people think Dan is whiney – I’m rooting for him all the way on this remaining season. It’s actually kind of impressive the writers made everyone seem to forget that Blair got rid of his sister – a pretty unforgivable offence – and yet they still managed to go out for as long as they did! Laughable! Never really thought it would be the case, but he’s the one I like the most. As of this episode.

      • Em says:

        Is it okay that I’m rooting for all of them? Haha. I know they have conflicting interests, but that’s what makes Dan’s storyline interesting. Jenny used to be one of my favourite characters because she created a storm wherever she went, whether it be with Serena, Blair or Chuck, and even her own family. All good drama comes from conflict, and I’m really looking forward to seeing Dan step into his little sister’s shoes. That’s not to say that I hate the other characters and want Dan to destroy them all, but the shift in dynamic that could be created by Dan and Nate’s partnership really intrigues me.

  3. Viv says:

    Cancel the Nelly Yuki project! Now!

  4. StupidPeopleShutUp says:

    This show has so exhausted me, I can’t even bear to expend the energy to read a recap. What an ignominous end.

    • Ava says:

      You should read the “recap” on Vulture. It makes me feel a lot better about still watching this show. It’s so funny.

  5. luli says:

    hahahaha i loved Nelly Yuki’s comeback, glad she is back. didn’t like her that much until now.

    • Alex says:

      I did like her, but like her even more now. Even more so when you saw Blair faffing around with her stupider-than-usual minions. Who would have thought – Nelly Yuki seems to be the only one who actually left highschool and grew up! Well done, I say. Plus in general I’m just loving all the visits from old characters. I hope they keep them coming!

  6. luli says:

    sage reminds me of jenny… am i the only one who thinks that?

    • Em says:

      I think she is supposed to be a little Jenny-esque. Jenny was one of my favourite characters though, so Sage has big shoes to fill.

    • Kristina says:

      Not really. I hate her, and I always kind of liked Jenny. I guess in the sense that she’s a bratty high schooler, but other than that no.

  7. Kalee says:

    Can’t believe the shortened final season introduced this many new couplings. I mean, none of these will matter in the final 3 or so episodes.

    And my hypothesis that Nelly Yuki is really Gossip Girl strengthens…

  8. Jo says:

    I didn’t think this show could get worse than last season. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

    • Kira says:

      I hate to say it but I agree. Nate dating a high schooler is gross!!! Blair was ridiculous!!! It’s not high school anymore. At least attempt to act like an adult. And I’m suprised to say Dan & Georgina were my favorite part. Loved the banter between the two!!!

      • How is that gross? I really wanna know. A hot 17-year-old girl, and an early 20s guy….I’m really at a loss to comprehend what’s “gross” about that. Sheesh. Did you just fall off the turnip truck, honey?

        Regarding Blair, her character has been written as a ridiculous nincompoop since episode 2. This is nothing new whatsoever.

      • jane says:

        if his daughter 17 i think the age difference betw3een steven and serena worse then that of sage and nate

  9. Alex says:

    Going out with a highschooler is a HUNDRED times creepier than the Ivy/Rufus hook up. Especially now that she seems 100% an actual highschooler with her bratty attitude. Just… ick. Apparently Nate doesn’t learn… at all. From anything. Ever. He will forever be hooking up with random bad-choice guest stars – but this one isn’t an appealing pairing to root for. Again… ick.

  10. JC says:

    The episode was fun but its obviously lacking compared to the amazing season premiere last week. More Georgina please she provides most of the funniest lines aside from Blair. Plus I saw some series finale pictures and they show Katie Cassidy back as Juliet Sharp or maybe Gossip Girl?

  11. Leo says:

    I really like Steven and Serena so far and I hope it will stay steady until the finale.
    Now, Dan, what a douche. And Nate wanting to run the story, which probably include “him” in it? Nate has high IQ? Haha, don’t make me laugh, Dan.
    NJBC needs to get together again and drive Dan out of Manhattan forever.
    And seriously, who cares about the Bass storyline?
    At least, they’re trying a new angle with Serena being step-mom (the thought of it makes me laugh)

  12. Sam says:

    Did no one else even think about the fact that Sage is sleeping with her dad’s girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend, the person Serena lost her virginity to as well? Step-mom and step-daughter should not lose their virginities to the same person.

  13. Jason says:

    I’d sure like someone to explain, sanely, just why Rufus and Ivy are “icky.” I see no problem with them at all. Seems like a weird media hype thing.

    • Kristina says:

      I think a lot of people have an issue with the age difference, which doesn’t bother me. What does gross me out, though, is that this girl spent a significant amount of time posing as his wife’s niece, and for some reason I still think of her as connected to the family. Not to mention she’s a con artist, but that doesn’t really bother me much either given her character’s evolution. I don’t know, it definitely seems weird to me.

  14. gary says:

    I really dont get why in the last season they are wasting so much time on Bart Bass. In all of these years the show has been on the air Bart Bass coming back has been the worst storyline

  15. necle says:

    so sage is gossip girl, right?

  16. Annie says:

    I completely agree with the other comments. Too many new characters have been introduced when there’s only 10 episodes (well now eight) left. Steven, so far, is a bore. Sage is a nutcase. Amira is a waste of space. When you get down to the nitty gritty of a show the time and energy should be on the main cast. GG has always been the best when Blair, Chuck, Serena, Nate, and Dan are together; either working with or against each other. Even Lily and Rufus can have some air time, but the rest are useless. The WORST part is Bart Bass. I never liked him in the first two seasons and he’s not any better or more interesting now. He’s there simply to have Chuck do something other than pine after Blair. GG put Chuck and Blair together at the end of the season, why not just have them be together? Is there so much of a difference of them being together now and them ending up together in the finale? What’s 10 episodes? I also am not looking forward to bringing back Juliet. Season 4 was the worst, mostly due to the Juliet storyline, why in the world should they bring her back?!

    The only thing I’m looking forward to now is the, hopefully EPIC, return of Jenny.

    • cherie says:

      absolutely! i also just want jenny and eric back and not these steven and sage father-daughter issues. i just soo hate Sage. shes not hot and stunning at all..errr

      • Cherie says:

        absolutely! i also just want jenny and eric back and not these steven and sage father-daughter issues. i just soo hate Sage. shes not hot and stunning at all..err

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