True Blood Recap: Another One Bites the Dust

True Blood Season 5 Episode 9Not since the Wonder Twins last activated their superpowers has a pair changed forms as often as True Blood shifters Sam and Luna. In Sunday’s episode alone, they both turned into (literal) flies on the wall (well, technically, flies on a desk), he turned into a pig, and she turned into a wolf. But it wasn’t just for fun, mind you. The lovebirds discovered the whereabouts of hate-group abductee Hoyt and learned that the gang’s leader was none other than…

BITTER SWEETIE | Yes, Bud’s brick house of a mistress – peeved because her husband had left her for a shifter – was the, for lack of a better word, brains behind the Obama-masked murderers. The former sheriff was more than complicit, however. In fact, he was so much more than complicit that, when Sookie stopped by to ask what he remembered about her parents’ homicides, he went right along with his honey’s plan to make the clairvoyant and Hoyt a two-course meal for his wife’s pigs. Luckily, one of the pigs turned out to be Sam, who managed to fight everybody off without the aid of pants. When the police finally arrived, Andy saved Sam’s curly tail by shooting Bud, and Luna beat Sweetie even more senseless than she already was.

PUPPY LOVE | After all that, Sam and Luna were ready to go pick up Emma from Martha. But they aren’t likely to like what they find next week, because while they were busy starring in a redneck version of Babe, Russell was giving the little wolfette to new boy toy Steve as a present (and also to punish her grandma for having the nerve to say hell to the no would she drink his blood). In other hairy news, Alcide paid a visit to his deadbeat dad (Robert Patrick) to let him know that he’d been abjured by his pack.

I’LL HAVE A SALOME UN-WRY | As the first of the TB factories exploded, Eric teamed up with Mac from Veronica Mars to hatch a plan to escape from Authority HQ. Though Bill prattled on about some sort of existential crisis he was going through, Eric’s mention of Sookie seemed to bring him around – especially since his part of the plan meant he got to get busy with Salome again. But, at the moment of truth, it turned out Bill had lied, revealing to Salome not only Eric’s scheme to steal away but to take Nora with him.

SMOKEOUT | Determined to get the drop on Terry, Patrick kidnapped Arlene at gunpoint. But during the ensuing scuffle between the two men, the redhead got hold of the weapon and turned the tables. Finally, it was up to Terry. Could he shoot the old friend who got him into this whole mess? Encouraged by the spirit of the woman who’d cursed them, yes, he certainly could (and did). Afterward, the smoke monster made (dare we hope?) its last appearance, devouring Patrick with its… smoke teeth? How would that work, exactly? Anyway, Patrick is gone, and knock wood, so is the smoke monster.

FRESH BLOOD | Pam reminded her progeny that, just because they had a drink together, it didn’t make them “Oprah and Gayle.” Nonetheless, Tara was still there for her maker when a Lestat wannabe smacked her and announced that 1) he was Eric’s replacement sheriff, and 2) the ban on eating humans had been lifted.

So, what did you think of the episode? Were you surprised by the identity of the hate group’s “dragon” lady? How nice is it to see Lafayette with his groove back (finally!)? And, although Jason couldn’t seem to wake up Hoyt at the end of the episode, he’s gotta be all right, right? (How much of him could the pigs have eaten that quickly?!) Your comments, criticisms and wild speculation below, please.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Thomas says:

    First of all, let’s all just be glad that the Ifrit situation is over. Second, let’s also give thanks thanks that this whole hate group storyline is over. Third, can we make the remaining three episodes “The Pam and Tara Hour” because that is the only great storyline we’ve had all season. Yes, I will admit that things are starting to look up with the whole “Who Killed Sookie’s Parents” plot, but I am so far over this Lilith thing I can hardly see straight. So, let the “Pam and Tara Hour” begin.

    • A5 says:

      Well Said Thomas, you hit the nail on the head.

    • Dark Defender says:

      Agreed. And more LaLa. And bring on Warlow (I bet he’s Fae)… And bring Eric back to Sookie or get Quinn up in here.

      p.s. now that Bill has drunk the Salome/Lilith kool-aid.. Make him gone.

    • Elaine says:

      Amen brother, there has yet to be an episode worthy of repeat viewing.

    • Kellie says:

      I am 100% in agreement. I have struggled to watch this season at all. There are only 2 storylines I care about (Pam/Tara, Sookie and the Fae) and they haven’t really like Sookie and Alcide be together. I will watch the rest of the season, but if next year starts out bad, I will let it go.

    • lorna says:

      Agreed. And it reminds me of SPN. This season is just awful. Thank God for Eric and Alcide, not sure which one of them I want Sookie with. I remember how incredible the show was in the first season, and for some of 2, minus MaryAnne. Oh, although I despise Tara less, she can still go.

    • anna says:

      only problem is I hate Tara and wish she wasn’t in the show at all, but yeah Pam’s awesome.

    • KevyB says:

      Actually, making the milquetoasty Bill a baddie is finally an interesting twist in this whole Lilith nightmare. Why anyone thought killing off Chris Meloni so early in the season was a good idea is beyond my comprehension!

  2. Ashley says:

    Yes this Authority story line is getting to be intolerable, but it is a million times better than the stupid witch and her little split personality problem from last year. I totally agree though that Pam and Tara’s storyline is very entertaining, and that the Sookie’s Parents’ murderer’s identity will be a fun reveal.

    • Barbie says:

      Disagree. This hasn’t been this bad in maybe two years? OMG, I can’t stand this show anymore. And stealing Luna’s kid from the wolves? I hate humans brainwashed by religion enough as it is, won’t be watching a show about vampires.

      The only upside is thay they change the crap the show’s about every season, so, next season it will all be gone, it seems.

  3. David says:

    This year is almost unwatchable. I am almost ready to give up on it for good

    • Agreed. I believe I’m watching now out of habit. If Lafayette, Pam, and Tara had a spin-off, I’d watch. If I were Alan Ball, I couldn’t be done with this train wreck (he helped create) fast enough.

  4. S says:

    Bill is no good so why Sookie continues to forgive/love him I’ll never know? AB’s writing for you. He always turns on people, gets innocent people killed/hurt and lies a lot! He’s far from being the good one or a hero of any kind.

  5. S says:

    I agree with others I just love Pam&Tara and they really have became one of the highlights of this season. The only thing that would make it better is if Eric was in scenes with them and even Lafayette. I love that Lala is back to his old self so much better!

  6. tvdiva says:

    The Vampire Authority and smoke monster subplots were a gigantic waste. The season should have started with Russell being back. We had to wait until this episode for Russell to get back to his true evil self. Now we only have three episodes left to free Eric, knock some sense into Bill and Nora (if that is even possible), and round up the posse (Sookie and whoever is game to join her) to stop the vampire holy war. Everybody meet up at Sookie’s and bring your stakes and silver.

    • icywinter2 says:

      They couldn’t have just brought Russell back like that, they had do it the way that they did. Remember Russell was chained and buried in Concreate until Salome dug him out. There was a purpose for why he was brought back in that way. There is no way for Eric to knock some common sense into Nora, she’s been brainwashed too much by Salome. Bill I think he’s faking.

      The biggest mistake that the writers did was kill Roman off, he was the good guy and would have prevent this whole vampire hysteria.

  7. Like most others, let’s give a cheer for a) the end of the Ifrit (and, to a certain extent, the Obama maskers) and 2) Lafayette, Sookie, Pam and Tara having some verbal mojo to keep things funny and fresh.

    Admittedly I’m not feeling the Authority stuff as much either, but I do like the direction they’re going in, especially if we get more frantic scenes like the ones at Fangtasia as a result. The real interesting stuff will go down in the real world, not Casa De Salome.

    Don’t think Bill is really in cahoots with Salome and the Authority, though. Have a speculative reason why in our review on the episode…

    • This is essentially how I felt about the episode. Because we finally wrapped some storylines I felt like it was one of the strongest episodes this season. It was great to have LaFayette and Sookie playing off one another again, seeing the Pam/Tara relationship continue to be a bright spot, and I’m loving the Russell/Steve dynamic. The duos are really where TB shines this season. I’m a little tried of being stuck in the Authority headquarters and agree that more stuff like the Fangtasia scene would propel the story forward much better. Hoping this is a sign of what’s to come in the final 3.

  8. Sounds to me like the show is getting worse by the week.
    Like with Supernatural, I hope having a new showrunner for the next series will bring it back to being a quality tv show.

  9. Yanez says:

    The Sweetie Des Arts character (Bud Dearborn’s pycho mistress) is from the book. Surprised Alan Ball used something from the book. Glad the Ifrit storyloine is over. Interesting how Salome’s blood has something in it to make vamps hallucinate/put them under her “spell”. Now I got why Roman was so close with her. Loving LaLa and every Pam and Tara scene. Can’t wait for Pam, Tara, and Eric scenes. And really interested in where this Fae storyline is headed.

    • icywinter2 says:

      Except that Roman did not share Salome’s beliefs at all. He didn’t want all hell to break loose or have vampires seeing Humans as nothing more than food.

  10. Karen says:

    I really hope those golden nuggets of dialogue continues after the departure of Alan Ball. Lafayette was all kinds of awesome today, as were most of the others. It’s so great how True Blood can integrate humor in nan otherwise very bloody drama

  11. Michael says:

    The smoke monster ridiculousness was lame but I wasn’t any more annoyed by it than I am the whole Authority nonsense. I haven’t even been able to fully enjoy Russell Edgington this year…how is that even possible?

    Tara has gone from my least favorite character to my second-favorite character behind the goddess Pam. I’m not sure if that is because Rutina has stepped up her game or because I just can’t stand everyone else.

  12. James says:

    I was surprised to see Sweetie because, like others have said, it’s a name from the book. I just hope we can see other familiar names as a set up for next season… But there haven’t been any important casting news, so I keep my hopes low…

  13. Disastrous says:

    Awesome episode!

  14. Teresa says:

    There are too many pointless subplots going on. It seems like they’re trying to use every idea in Allan Balls head before he leaves this season. I need a computer to keep up with all the different threads. Hope they all come together soon but I don’t see how there are only 3 shows left

  15. Sean T says:

    Did anyone else think, “Why is Boo’s mom being so mean?”…not sure True Blood and Bunheads have much crossover! But it’s always fun to see good actors do different roles!

  16. DJ says:

    Anybody else notice how Russell’s accent changed from southern aristocrat to eastern European when he addressed the Packmaster in menacing tones? Subtle, but brilliant.

  17. Ben says:

    Best episode of the season. Too many great one-liners to count. Story lines actually being tied up.

  18. Nellibly says:

    This is stacking up to be my least favorite season, a spot previously held by season two and the Maenad storyline. The plots are all over the map and the humor and romance that helped balance all of the violence is almost non-existent. (Exception: hysterical scenes of Sam with himself!) Sookie is little more than a cameo in this season. But mostly, it’s as if the entire season is a complete reboot of the series with almost nothing connecting it to the past four seasons. I really don’t recognize most of these characters anymore.

  19. Frankieboy says:

    they should give more screentime 2 pam & tara! they have been the best thing this season has given us.

    (p.s. as a Tara fan from the first hour I’m kinda happy that all the Tara hate from the last few weeks is slowly starting to go away)

  20. Danielle H says:

    I think I echo everyone else when I say.. “WTF is wrong with Bill!?”

    I am really sad, because season 1 of this show was some of my favorite tv ever. I am 80% sure I will not be subscribing to HBO next year and pay all that extra money for this show anymore. It just isn’t the same and doesn’t really look like it is looking up. :(

  21. sue says:

    Im glad to read its not just me disappointed w this season. Alcides character is weak and boring. The wolf pack is useless. I dont like Bills story line AT ALL this season. Erics storyline is directionless and I LOVE Eric! Only good thing is Pam and Tara and Lafayette. Next season needs to be better. You wait a year for new season for a few episodes and its been disappointing.

  22. Mikael says:

    I’m so glad they finally know what to do with Tara. I’m loving her as a vampire and I like that she’s slowly bonding with Pam and not just hating the world as she always does. It’s SO great to see the old Lafayette back! And I have zero interest in the Terry plot, the Alcide plot, or Bill/Eric. Just give me Sookie, Jason/Jessica and Tara/Pam. I’m glad the shifter killer story is over. Funny how Sam/Luna went from the shifter killers to Russell, when those plots were so unrelated.

  23. Johanna says:

    In case anyone wants to know. When Eric pinned Nora to the wall and took her blood he whispered “Lita på mig”, which means “Trust me” in Swedish.