True Blood Recap: Another One Bites the Dust

True Blood Season 5 Episode 9Not since the Wonder Twins last activated their superpowers has a pair changed forms as often as True Blood shifters Sam and Luna. In Sunday’s episode alone, they both turned into (literal) flies on the wall (well, technically, flies on a desk), he turned into a pig, and she turned into a wolf. But it wasn’t just for fun, mind you. The lovebirds discovered the whereabouts of hate-group abductee Hoyt and learned that the gang’s leader was none other than…

BITTER SWEETIE | Yes, Bud’s brick house of a mistress – peeved because her husband had left her for a shifter – was the, for lack of a better word, brains behind the Obama-masked murderers. The former sheriff was more than complicit, however. In fact, he was so much more than complicit that, when Sookie stopped by to ask what he remembered about her parents’ homicides, he went right along with his honey’s plan to make the clairvoyant and Hoyt a two-course meal for his wife’s pigs. Luckily, one of the pigs turned out to be Sam, who managed to fight everybody off without the aid of pants. When the police finally arrived, Andy saved Sam’s curly tail by shooting Bud, and Luna beat Sweetie even more senseless than she already was.

PUPPY LOVE | After all that, Sam and Luna were ready to go pick up Emma from Martha. But they aren’t likely to like what they find next week, because while they were busy starring in a redneck version of Babe, Russell was giving the little wolfette to new boy toy Steve as a present (and also to punish her grandma for having the nerve to say hell to the no would she drink his blood). In other hairy news, Alcide paid a visit to his deadbeat dad (Robert Patrick) to let him know that he’d been abjured by his pack.

I’LL HAVE A SALOME UN-WRY | As the first of the TB factories exploded, Eric teamed up with Mac from Veronica Mars to hatch a plan to escape from Authority HQ. Though Bill prattled on about some sort of existential crisis he was going through, Eric’s mention of Sookie seemed to bring him around – especially since his part of the plan meant he got to get busy with Salome again. But, at the moment of truth, it turned out Bill had lied, revealing to Salome not only Eric’s scheme to steal away but to take Nora with him.

SMOKEOUT | Determined to get the drop on Terry, Patrick kidnapped Arlene at gunpoint. But during the ensuing scuffle between the two men, the redhead got hold of the weapon and turned the tables. Finally, it was up to Terry. Could he shoot the old friend who got him into this whole mess? Encouraged by the spirit of the woman who’d cursed them, yes, he certainly could (and did). Afterward, the smoke monster made (dare we hope?) its last appearance, devouring Patrick with its… smoke teeth? How would that work, exactly? Anyway, Patrick is gone, and knock wood, so is the smoke monster.

FRESH BLOOD | Pam reminded her progeny that, just because they had a drink together, it didn’t make them “Oprah and Gayle.” Nonetheless, Tara was still there for her maker when a Lestat wannabe smacked her and announced that 1) he was Eric’s replacement sheriff, and 2) the ban on eating humans had been lifted.

So, what did you think of the episode? Were you surprised by the identity of the hate group’s “dragon” lady? How nice is it to see Lafayette with his groove back (finally!)? And, although Jason couldn’t seem to wake up Hoyt at the end of the episode, he’s gotta be all right, right? (How much of him could the pigs have eaten that quickly?!) Your comments, criticisms and wild speculation below, please.