Teen Choice Awards 2012: Best & Worst Moments

demi lovato kevin mchale teen choiceSunday night’s Teen Choice Awards telecast was peppered with reminders that its gigantic surfboard trophies are only worth so much. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart tossed their prizes back into the audience — a sweet gesture to the Twi-Hard Nation and a convenient remedy for having to try to fit the unweildy gifts into a limo. (Thankfully, no teen girls were bludgeoned unconscious in the ensuing scrum.) A not-as-funny-as-it-should’ve-been video showed the members of One Direction trying to reassemble a sawed-up trophy that had been delivered to them back in jolly old England. And, in a fantastically weird moment, Cat Deeley’s unreliable microphone seemed to give out as she announced that Jersey Shore‘s DJ Pauly D was taking home a Teen Choice for…something? (My guess: the “We’ve Got a Trophy Surplus, So Start Handing These Things Out Already!” consolation prize.)

Anyhow, before Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift sell their collective surfboard statuettes on eBay and surpass the gross national product of Luxembourg, let’s count down the telecast’s three best and three worst moments:

BEST MOMENTS
3) Zooey Deschanel scores with clueless podium banter | I couldn’t tell whether co-presenter Selena Gomez was in on the joke, but on an evening of particularly insipid teleprompter readings, New Girl star Deschanel scored some real laughs with a bit about speaking in text-language. It may not have been LMFAO, but it was certainly certainly LOL.

2) Jonah Hill insults a living legend in his acceptance speech | Picking up the Choice Movie Comedy prize for 21 Jump Street, Hill noted how he’d lost the Oscar race for Best Supporting Actor this year to 82-year-old Christopher Plummer. “He’s not nominated for anything tonight, so I’m better,” teased Hill, before expressing some heartfelt wonder that a script he’d conceived had actually been produced, then enjoyed by a wide audience.

1) Taylor Swift busts a move | Flo Rida’s performance of “Wild One” was perfectly fine, but received a major upgrade when the cameras caught the country superstar shimmying in front of her seat, mouthing every word of the bouncy club jam.

WORST MOMENTS
3) Ian Somerhalder gets harrassed | Yeah, yeah, the Vampire Diaries star was picking up a trophy for Choice Hottie, but that doesn’t mean he should’ve had to endure audience members screaming for him to perform a strip show. “They would get mad at me if I took off my shirt,” Somerhalder remarked, dodging the ridiculous bullet with his typical charm.

2) Name flubs abound | Whether it was host Kevin McHale introducing Happy Endings‘ Zachary Knighton as Zachary Kingston, a chyron misspelling Kristen Stewart’s name as Kristin, or Selena Gomez seemingly struggling to remember the names of all her band members while accepting Choice Music Group (“My band, Joey, Dane, and everybody, thank you so much,” she said, failing to include the names of her lead guitarist and drummer), a lot of folks didn’t get the respect to which they were entitled.

1) Hosts Demi Lovato and Kevin McHale deliver heaping portions of awkward | Lovato and McHale kept making references to knowing each other growing up in Texas, but exhibited all the chemistry of a banana peel and a garbage disposal. One painful bit — an extended ad for Lovato’s upcoming X Factor judging gig — focused on the songbird cajoling McHale into “auditioning” for her. By the time he finally sang and she declared he “has the X factor,” the audience could only muster up tepid applause. Several subsequent jokes lay unconscious on the stage for seconds at a time before the audience briefly resuscitated them with polite laughter.

Below this photo of Pauly D “at work,” a rundown of the winners announced during the show…

Choice Comedian: Ellen DeGeneres
Choice Web Stars: Sophia Grace and Rosie
Choice TV Show, Sci Fi/Fantasy: The Vampire Diaries
Choice TV Actress, Sci Fi/Fantasy: Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries
Choice TV Actor, Sci Fi/Fantasy: Ian Somerhalder, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Female TV Scene Stealer: Candice Accola, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Male TV Scene Stealer: Michael Trevino, The Vampire Diaries
Choice TV Drama: Pretty Little Liars
Choice Female TV Star of Summer: Troian Bellisario, Pretty Little Liars
Choice TV Actress, Drama: Lucy Hale, Pretty Little Liars
Choice TV Actor, Drama: Ian Harding, Pretty Little Liars
Choice Movie Actor, Drama: Zac Efron, The Lucky One
Choice Actor in a Romance Movie: Zac Efron, The Lucky One
Choice Movie Drama: The Lucky One
Choice Male Hottie: Ian Somerhalder
Choice Female Hottie: Miley Cyrus
Choice Music Group: Selena Gomez & The Scene
Choice TV Actor, Action: Adam Rodriguez, CSI: Miami
Choice Movie Comedy: 21 Jump Street
Choice Breakup Song: Maroon 5’s “Payphone”
Choice Female Movie Star of Summer: Kristen Stewart, Snow White and the Huntsman
Choice Movie of the Summer, Music or Comedy: Katy Perry: Part of Me
Choice Breakout TV Stare, Female: Hannah Simone, New Girl
Choice Actress in a Sci-Fi/Fantasy Film: Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games
Choice Male Scene Stealer: Liam Hemsworth, The Hunger Games
Choice Villain: Alexander Ludwig, The Hunger Games
Choice Movie Actress, Drama: Emma Stone, The Help
Choice Movie Actress, Comedy: Emma Stone, Crazy Stupid Love
Choice Breakout Movie Star: Rihanna, Battleship
Choice Hissy Fit: Charlize Theron, Snow White and the Huntsman
Choice Romance: Breaking Dawn Part I
Choice Actress in a Movie Romance: Kristen Stewart, Breaking Dawn Part I
Ultimate Choice: Breaking Dawn Part I
Choice Actor in a TV Comedy: Chris Colfer, Glee
Acuvue Inspire Award: Miranda Cosgrove
Choice Summer TV Star, Male: Tyler Posey, Teen Wolf
Choice TV Actress, Comedy: Lea Michele, Glee
Choice Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Choice Female Country Artist: Taylor Swift
Choice Single by a Female Artist: Taylor Swift’s “Eyes Open”
Choice Country Song: Taylor Swift’s “Sparks Fly”
Choice Movie Voice: Taylor Swift, Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax
Choice Male Artist: Justin Bieber
Choice Male Fashion Icon: Justin Bieber
Choice Male Music Star of Summer: Justin Bieber
Choice Single by a Male Artist: Justin Bieber’s “Boyfriend”
Choice Actor in a Sci-Fi/Fantasy Film: Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games
Choice Lip Lock: Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games
Choice Book: The Hunger Games
Choice Sci-Fi/Fantasy Film: The Hunger Games
Choice Summer Music Star Group: One Direction
Choice Music Breakout Group: One Direction
Choice Love Song: One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful”
Choice Actress in an Action Movie: Zoe Saldana, Columbiana
Choice Actor in an Action Movie: Taylor Lautner, Abduction
Choice Summer Movie Star, Male: Chris Hemsworth, Snow White and the Huntsman/The Avengers
Choice TV Comedy: Glee
Choice [Something Cat Deeley Mumbled]: Pauly D
Choice Twit [Meant as a Positive, Pertaining to Twitter]: Demi Lovato
Choice Female Music Star of Summer: Demi Lovato
Choice Breakout Artist: Carly Rae Jepsen

What did you think of Teen Choice 2012? Shocked to see Abducted and Columbiana become award-winning films? Sound off below!