Hell's Kitchen Premiere Recap: Entrée No

gordon ramsayHell’s Kitchen reopened for its milestone tenth season Monday night, and the special four-course menu included “bloody hell” in a puff pastry, s–t served two ways, a steaming plate of f–ks, and a sorbet of mystery bleeps. Yes, headcase chef Gordon Ramsay was back, boiling mad as ever with his latest crop of contestants, and unleashing his displeasure with a torrent of expletives.

If there was ever any doubt Hell’s Kitchen was less about the actual food and more about ritualized humiliation, the Season 10 premiere ended with the following startling statistics: 100 dinner guests, 18 chefs, and 0 entrées served. But hey, on the bright side, each and every contestant was unceremoniously hurled from the kitchen and told to “f–k off.” Who needs dessert when Ramsay’s sweet hot rage is the final bite on your fork?

Of course, the stakes for Season 10 are pretty high: A job as head chef at Gordon Ramsay Steak at The Paris in Las Vegas, a gig that comes with a $250,000 salary (20 percent of which will presumably be spent on therapy bills). But enough about serious details, let’s get to some observations from the season’s opening hour:

* Just in case you were worried that we might be getting a kinder, gentler Hell’s Kitchen, the first three contestants shown speaking on camera dropped completely unnecessary f-bombs. How badly do you want this, Clemenza? “Take an arm. Take my leg. Take my f–king shoes.” Alrighty then!

* Because you wouldn’t want to focus too much on actual culinary technique, we burned a good six or seven minutes on sous chef Scott faking out the contestants by pretending they’d need to get their heads shaved to prove their committment to winning. I will say that having a male and a female plant in the kitchen and buzzing ’em both bald was a pretty effective way to freak out the ladies in particular.

* Whatever stress that prank had on the women didn’t seem to affect their cooking game. They bested the men pretty handily in a head-to-head matchup of their signature dishes, with Robyn noting that praise from Chef Ramsay was the equivalent of “the best orgasm ever.” (Insert “I’ll have what she’s having” joke here.) My own personal awards? Best Critique: Gordon telling Tiffany her entree felt “like a wet diaper.” Grossest-Looking Dish: Tavon’s shrimp, scallops, and crab over “whiskey infused” fettucine alfredo that included gloopy lumps of (!) balsamic vinegar. Poor Tavon (pictured, right) wasn’t ready for washing dishes, the punishment doled out to the men’s team: “I have on white skinny jeans!” he complained. But hey, it couldn’t get worse than that for him, could it? (Oh, of course it could.)

* Quote I have to share just so I know I’m not the only one who’ll be haunted by it forever: “A perfectly cooked scallop feels like the tip of a [bleep].” Thanks for that, Barbie.

* Congratulations, Roshni, for getting the first “get the f–k out of here” of Season 10.

* And congratulations, Tavon, for thinking that pigeon is a dish best served cold and raw. (Side note: Pigeon sounds a lot less disgusting when it’s called squab, right?)

* Tavon doubled his failures by mutilating the scallops during prep time. “Tavon treated those scallops like a homeless rat. You should never do that to scallops,” huffed Brian, leading me to wonder if everything he knows about rats, he learned from Ratatouille.

* On the women’s side, Christina struggled with the Beef Wellington, but hey, at least the chicas got their appetizers out the door.

* Am I the only one who sometimes wonders if the show’s producers do things like mess with the oven’s temperature gauges, the better to lead to botched cuisine and a Chef Ramsay meltdown where everyone gets thrown out of the kitchen?

* Ultimately, the men put Tavon and Don up for elimination. “Don? Why?” barked Chef Ramsay, noting Don never even got a chance to cook. “Not only did you put in a s–tty performance, but you came to a crap consensus.” And then, ignoring the men’s decision, our cantankerous judge put Royce in the Bottom 2 alongside Tavon, who described his performance as that of “a prep cook that got thrown onto the line.” Bzzzt! “I would’ve said a dish washer on a [bleeeep] day,” snarled Chef Ramsay.

* Tavon, you’re eliminated. Now get the f–k out.

What did you think of the season premiere of Hell’s Kitchen? Are you rooting for anyone yet, or are you still at the point where you haven’t even bothered to learn anyone’s name yet? Sound off below, and for all my reality TV recaps and news, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Jeff says:

    The thing that annoys me the most is when the teams pick contestants for elimination that anyone with half a brain would know Chef Ramsey won’t consider sending home. Don?! I can get over the repetitive complaining about punishments and trash talk because I’m sure the producers push them to say those things. But when they don’t pick the cooks that got yelled at the most they’re really acting like they’ve never watched this show before!

  2. CSAH says:

    Robyn is street walker Hott

    • Kristoffer says:

      is she the one who’s mouth moves funny when she talks? If so does anyone else notice that kinda stuff or is it just me? One of the guys on Top Chef did the same type thing and that’s all I could notice when he was talking… same with her. I hear nothing she says because I am too busy watching her mouth move in some weird way when she talks!

      • CSAH says:

        Yes that is her and I do notice little things like that. On episode 2 she came out as a lesbian so my hooker crush is over.

  3. Zach says:

    I’m liking the bitch with the muffin top the size of Madison Square garden

  4. Name That Tune says:

    This is my guilty pleasure show. I’m not at the point where I can identify the most likely top 6, but there were some clues.
    I’m always puzzled. This is the 10th season. If you are line cook or executive chef, you should know by now that Ramsay is to expect you to cook scallops and Beef Wellington, If you show up and can’t do that you don’t deserve the prize.

  5. Forwarddad says:

    I understand to a point the over the top swearing but I wish they wouldn’t show them smoking . I know it is a free country but no other show televises it as much. i think I am getting tired of this show. The contestants all look like every other season.

  6. TinyTim says:

    I think the show has the ovens rigged to not cook food properly, it wouldn’t surprise me if they did it. So the contestant puts the oven on 450 and the show turns it down to 250 until Gordo erupts when its raw, then turns it back up behind the scenes.

    Sometimes when a contestants isn’t watching they will turn it all the way up to burn the food too.

  7. smidnite says:

    Royce seems like the kind of guy who’s going to dodge bullets all season.

  8. Mik says:

    My early pick to win it all is Barbie, although seeing the previews for episode 2, it looks like she might become this season’s villain, which I hope she doesn’t. Hell’s Kitchen has had many black female villains so it would be nice to see a black female actually having a shot at winning.

    I also think Robyn and Dana has a good shot at going far. They’re both good chefs and if you look at the statistics (four women, five men has won)…it should be a woman winning this season.

    There’s not really anyone on the blue team I like. The guy with the akward bandana is probably the only man I think has a shot at winning… Or Guy from Israel.

  9. xwiseguyx says:

    By now, wouldn’t you practice cooking Scallops and Beef Wellington before coming on the damn show? Of course not, because they find the majority of their contestants at the local Waffle House and they must have not seen the show. (insert eye rolls here)

  10. JB says:

    One things for sure…if I was a contestant on the show I would have a) cooked scallops and Beef Wellington every day until I got it right consistantly and b) cooked my signature dish so many times that family, friends, heck even strangers on the street got tired of eating it.

  11. David Powers says:

    i like that fat blonde who thinks shes getting by on her looks. honey, your 200+ pounds.

    • briscoe says:

      Free grammar lesson for you: ‘your’ is possessive. ‘You’re’ means ‘you are’- if you want people to bother caring about your raging prejudice against people who don’t look like stick insects, you should at least try to pretend that your language skills are above the 3rd grade level. Oh, and my apologies if you are actually 8 years old- if so, you’re doing just great, dear.

  12. BPF says:

    As someone who works in a kitchen (but is not a Chef) I can tell you that all the swearing and smoking is real. The creatures that work in kitchens are a crazy bunch. What they don’t show is them excessively drinking and smoking something other than cigs.

  13. Lacy says:

    Does anyone else think Hell’s Kitchen is just getting all the Food Network rejects? It’s like Jerry Springer and Food Network Star had offspring. I like Barbie and hope she makes it to the end.

  14. Natty says:

    Did anyone else notice the bad editing for this season? Like daniella was shown as Dana in the first episode. In the first episode when Robyn was cutting open the lamb it looked Medium but when they cut to the pass with Gordon it was all of a sudden raw? I going to keep an eye out for more fishy editing….like no build up to drama….just drama!

  15. kaylee says:

    I would like to LIKE this show, but with all the bleeping it is sometimes hard – the show is SUPPOSE to be about cooking, but it seems more like it is about swearing, fighting and smoking……………..here is my question, if this is a show that the winner goes to run a 4 star restaurant why in the world would you have contestants that come from the gutter???
    If I go to a nice restaurant and pay a lot of money I would like to think that the Chef has just a little bit of class…………….?? Instead now when I go out to eat I wonder what kind of crap is going on in the kitchen and if anyone washes their hands after smoking……..these people seem like trash…………low class…………uneducated jerks………….this is who Ramsey wants running one of his restaurants…………..makes me wonder…………..

    And really with all the people who go hungry everyday does Ramsey really throw all that expensive food away???? He could feed a good deal of the homeless with what he throws out………….
    I have NO desire to eat in one of his restaurants. Does he advertise for low class people who can swear a LOT????

  16. Ayla says:

    Autumn, Elise, and now Barbie?
    Why is the plot of every “Hell’s Kitchen” season “Women turn on the one bitchy black woman, and she ends up outlasting most of them but doesn’t win”?

  17. P.J. says:

    Considering not watching until the finale. Can’t stand the immature, white trash, low class behavior. Is Gordon “seriously” considering hiring any one of them as his head chef in his new steak house? I sure as hell wouldn’t eat there i he did. Hell’s Kitchen is now one of America’s most annoying reality shows. I just want to slap the hell out of half of them throughout the entire episode. The show leaves me angry and irritable each week. I don’t think I need that.

    • kaylee says:

      I totally agree, I am watching the show, but does ANYONE in real life swear that much and I simply do not see how such low class people, who often seem to have a very low IQ run a classy expensive restaurant??? These people belong on Jerry Springer.

      The show would be SO much better if there was less swearing………….doesn’t have to be pure, but really how the F** can you F** following the F**ing sentence if all you are doing is F**ing all over the place.

  18. Val says:

    Glad the fat b***h went home. Always crying, talking s**t, and calling people names.

  19. Worst show on TV. Chef (if you can call him that) Ramsey is a typical bully. We try to teach our kids to respect others yet we have to listen to Ramsey rant, rage and curse his way through one of the longest hours on TV. No respect for anyone Couldn’t even get through one full episode. Sad that this is entertainment.

    • briscoe says:

      You do know that you don’t HAVE to watch this show, right? I agree that it is not a good show for kids to watch, but you should have some control over what your children watch. Jersey Shore is also not a good show for kids, are you on message boards for that show too, complaining that it’s not a good example for children? It is your job as a parent to control what your child watches. Also, if you have ever bothered to watch any of Ramsey’s multitude of other shows, you would find that his Hell’s Kitchen persona is just that- a persona. In every other show i have ever seen him in, he is a kind and generous man that, yes, tends to swear a bit. However, if you take time to learn anythng about professional kitchens, you will find that many of them have a huge amount of swearing, smoking, and drinking going on. On HK, people expect him to scream. And so that’s what he gives them. It is just a show.