Lindsay Lohan Hosts SNL: Best and Worst Skits?

lindsay lohan snlAs someone who very much enjoyed Lindsay Lohan’s work in Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, I was genuinely hoping she’d score some big laughs as host of this week’s Saturday Night Live. Unfortunately for the troubled actress, however, there’s only so much one can do with setups built around prison-rape jokes or the sight of Fred Armisen in drag getting repeatedly hit by a car.

It was a harbinger of bad things to come when the opening monologue focused almost entirely on various SNL cast members “surreptitiously” scoping out Lohan for signs of her notorious erratic behavior — a segment so red-dog lazy it didn’t include a single fresh twist on her public persona and myriad legal and professional problems.

And what’s more, the tepid punch lines and underdeveloped sketches whipped up on this week’s show make it inconclusive in determining whether or not Lohan still has the power to entertain.

With that said, here are my picks for the week’s best and worst skteches.

Best: James Carville on Weekend Update
Bill Hader gets episode MVP for a night that included this scathingly funny, and wonderfully absurdist, take on the Democratic political adviser. (His Shepard Smith impersonation was fantastic, too.) I laughed from the beginning (Carville’s childhood game of The Patchelor featuring a bunch of kids hoping to marry a gussied-up watermelon) to that amazingly insane tale of luring Newt Gingrich into an affair with a personal ad (“I love it when a guy is just a big blob of gray”), dressing up as a woman, taking him for a Paddleboat ride, and then shocking him with a reveal of his “Harry Connick Jr.” (which looks exactly like Carville’s face — without glasses).

Best: B108 FM Morning Show
Taran Killem and Bobby Moynihan’s exhausted-to-the-point-of-collapse DJs were hilarious with their stupid hip-hop wannabe shout-outs — “It’s dark as hell! — but they got great support from Lohan as their sidekick Illiterate Lisa, and Vanessa Bayer as news reader “MC Jiggle Butt.” This sketch also scored Lohan her best line of the night,  responding to a list of local school closings: “Those Eagle Creek bitches are lazy!”

Worst: Bicycle Thieves Scared Straight
Kenan “One Expression” Thompson and Lohan headlined this sketch, in which they played “Scared Straight” counselors named Lorenzo MacIntosh and “Lindsay Lohan,” respectively. Need I say any more about the stupefying awfulness of a sketch that featured not just one but two renditions of of the Kay jewelers’ them, reimagined as “every kiss begins with rape”? To quote Jason Sudeikis’ sheriff character, “I should’ve stopped you after ‘discharge,’ but I zoned out for a second.”

Worst: Delinquent Girl Teen Gang
Is there anything worse on SNL than a sketch that clings to a single punchline or sight gag — one that happens not to be remotely amusing — and plays it over and over and over, without any kind of variation or escalation? That was the case with this late-night movie parody, where Lohan and Armisen-in-drag played the leaders of a group of tough girls who rebelled by dancing in the streets — at least until Armisen’s “Babette” got struck down by a vehicle again and again and again. If the writers wanted to get Lohan into hot pants, surely there were funnier methods than this.

What did you think of this week’s SNL? How would you rate Lohan as host? Sound off in the comments!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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88 Comments
  1. shadi says:

    morning radio show sucked, best skit was the housewives of disney

    • Lois says:

      I don’t agree. I thought she was funny, a good sport, and a true trooper on SNL, last night. Don’t be so harsh with her. Cut her a break. She has had a crazy family life.

      • Mark S says:

        I am sorry, but why does she deserve a break? No one said she had to host the show. I am sure this is not part of her sentencing, although as harsh as this episode was, it could have been. She is only trying to rehab her image and it did not work. Her dependency on the cue cards ranks among the worse ever on this show. Most of the sketches were horrible. One of the worst shows in recent memory.

        • Philipp says:

          Yeah but she was probably super nervous too. Imagine her with all this bad press as it is, knowing millions of people will tune in only in hope to see her fail.
          I for one hoped she would do well and I think she did pretty ok. I really wish her all the best and hope she’ll return to old form and get her life together!

      • KevyB says:

        I loooove when people say we should give celebrities a break for the bad stuff they do. She chooses to put herself in the public eye so she deserves our scrutiny.

    • sash fan says:

      I thought she did pretty well. The monologue was funny, especially Kristin Wig patting her down then claiming she was a lesbian. The skits as written just weren’t that funny, but they can’t win every Saturday. LIndsay did a good job. Housewives was funny. Looking forward to a comeback.

    • Carrie says:

      I agree. I can’t believe the Disney housewives skit wasn’t mentioned. That and Bill Hader on Weekend Update were the only things that made this one worth watching. Lohan wasn’t awful, but she was clearly off her game. She screwed up her lines very badly in the prison skit.

    • brandy says:

      I agree. Real Housewives of Disney was by far the best. (But I also laughed out loud at both of your “worst” picks, as well as the bizarre K.Wiig screaming at the phone sketch.)

    • Philipp says:

      Yup, my thoughts exactly!
      The morning radio show was one of the worst ones. SNL generally does well when they spoof Bravo shows.

    • Velvet says:

      Houswives of Disney was great.

  2. Tansu says:

    Housewives was the best one. I thought pretty much everything else was weak. Not her fault though. She can’t make unfunny jokes funny, no matter how hard she tries.

    • Ana says:

      She could at least have learned the lines though. It couldn’t have been more obvious she was reading cards in the scared straight sketch & mangled lines in other spots.

      • Amanda says:

        Yes, she did a horrible job performing. I did not like the radio show sketch either. I also agree that Disney Wives was great. Lindsay was better in that simply because it was pretaped.

        I also didn’t like the scared straight sketch except for them all breaking at the end. I didn’t care for the butt dial sketch either.

        I did enjoy the psychic awards bit.

      • dan says:

        Sometimes the skits are finished at the last minute, or re-written at the last minute, and they don’t have much time to memorize. That being said, it was pretty bad, and her scared straight skit was not funny at all, nor a great performance.

  3. ken says:

    Housewives of Disney was by far & away the best skit. And Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon were funnier in their 2-second appearance than Lohan was throughout every skit. Which is sad, watching her stare at cue cards and tripping over lines. They didn’t even give her that many. Sigh.

  4. Kathy says:

    Really BAD skits, nothing funny at all, except the Disney Housewives that was mildly amusing…

  5. melissa says:

    Overall it was a kind of blah show, but Housewives of Disney was funny and while the Scared Straight bit was mostly awful, I couldn’t help but crack up at the end when Sudekis and cast totally lost it. I can’t help it, when the cast makes each other laugh and break character I laugh. Oh and I miss Stefan!!!

  6. Jon says:

    Best of the night – Housewives of Disney
    all the rest w Lohan were forgettable

  7. SJB says:

    I agree with the previous comments….The best skit was the Disney Housewives….and the horrible rest of the show was not her fault…there is a reason I hardly ever watch anymore…

  8. MerissaWeiland says:

    What the h&$@ was that “Save the Date” sketch??!

  9. Peng9803 says:

    Real Housewives of Disney was by far the best. With all the worst sketches happening after Weekend Update, I wonder why the show even bothers to continue after that. Make it an hour-long. Put us out of our misery a half-hour earlier rather than subject us to that crap.

    I swear SNL heard me a few weeks ago. As soon as I saw the card stating that Lindsey Lohan would be hosting, I screamed at my TV that I wanted Jon Hamm to host instead. He has both Friends with Kids and Mad Men to promote. Plus, he’s hilarious and doesn’t need to stare at the cue cards. And if you are going to have Fallon and Hamm there you might as well do another Ambiguously Gay Duo live-action sketch. Missed opportunity.

    • Amy says:

      You need Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert to do Ambiguously Gay Duo. They’re Ace and Gary… it wouldn’t be right to do it without them.

  10. wished Jon Hamm had hosted says:

    the Housewives skit was cute. Lohan and her new face weren’t good.

    • cj says:

      Housewvives of Disney sketch FOR SURE was the best, and am i the only one who thinks lindsay lohan should dress like her B108 radio show character all the time?

  11. Jen says:

    I agree with you, Michael–the radio sketch was hilarious! As far as Lindsay, I think the writers didn’t really make her the star of any sketches. Instead, it was a week for the cast to shine, and they mostly did. I still would’ve rather seen Jon Hamm or Jimmy Fallon host instead of Lindsay.

  12. Steve says:

    Lohan was awful. Worst host of the year. She was even worse than January Jones. Her face is uncomfortable to look at. She looks like she is 45. Her constantly staring at the cue cards was unsettling as well. She is done. Let’s get someone fresh a chance instead of this tired old girl.

    • Christy says:

      I noticed the cue card thing all night too especially when she was talking to Andy Samberg in the Scared Straight sketch. He was in front of her and she was staring off to the left of him. Horrible!
      Housewives of Disney was funny.

  13. Shannon says:

    I thought it was a good show, for the cast and not Lindsay. I was laughing so hard at the open with Hader as Shephard and the later at Hader during Update. Disney Housewives takes the win, but the only sketch I didn’t like was the armisen in drag. The rest I thought were pretty funny, as long as Lindsay didn’t have to much to do, the show was good!

  14. J says:

    was great to see Jacky White rockin the 100 year old Gibson again

    • sally says:

      only part of this crapfest worth watching, they should have gotten HIM a better host… they get this awesome musicians as guests and then get the most awful hosts, this was miley cyrus/strokes all over again.

  15. Master_K says:

    Come on people. Lindsay was surprisingly pretty good in all of her sketches despite the material she had to work with. I think she still has the power to entertain an audience as long as she keeps up this new version of herself. I’m really hoping it’s not just a facade and she really has changed.

  16. Cat says:

    I guess they can stop calling her “talented actress”. That was so awful and so pathetic and completely unfunny. Her face can’t deliver emotions. She says the words but her face isn’t moving. And she buried her non-career once again because how can any producer hire her after that. She can’t act. In most of the sketches SNL cast played the main roles and she was just standing in behind. And reading every line from cue cards.

  17. Amanda says:

    Why isn’t Taran Killam a regular yet? He’s in more skits than most of the rest of the cast combined.

    • Melanie says:

      I think that the “newbies” get introduced after the regular cast for 2 years until they are ‘inducted’ to being introduced before the announcer says “…and featuring”, I don’t really think there is much of a difference, if there is one at all. Everyone who is introduced during the intro is a regualr cast member to me…

  18. Booger says:

    Let’s face it: what sucked wasn’t Lohan it is the writing; it has been the writing and it it will continue to be the writing. The show has become a train wreck. If we were honest, we’d all admit that we only tune in to see how bad the sketches will make the hosts look or how bad the music will be. Sundays have become bash SNL Days and FB lights up with criticism when it is on. Time to revamp or pull the plug. As for Logan, she was a good sport. Good luck to her.

  19. Colleen Tucker says:

    The Real Housewives sketch was by far the best of the night and everything went down from there. Watching Lindsey reading her cue cards was very distracting. Nice seeing John Hamm and Jimmy Fallon, though. And James Hader was really funny.

    Oh and what happened to Lindsey’s face?

  20. GrrlBonza says:

    When I tuned in, I didn’t even recognize Lindsay! What has she done? The cheek implants completely change her look! Poor kid. Identity crisis.

  21. Jeff says:

    Hosts and cast members reading from cue cards has been a staple of the show since SNL’s inception. It is cautioned the players not memorize their lines because changes to the show and scripts are made up to the broadcast of the show. Criticizing Lindsay for reading cards is unwarranted.

    As for the show, it has been a largely unfunny season. The only really shows this season were the 3 hosted by Melissa McCarthy, Jimmy Fallon, and Maya Rudolph. All the rest have been snooze fests

  22. Danielle H says:

    Videos so we can judge ourselves?

  23. jennrae says:

    I thought she looked like she’d had a nose job. Was that the same nose she’s always had?

  24. raftrap says:

    Am I the only one that loves Bobby Moynihan as Snookie? he kills it every time.

  25. Jennifer says:

    Thank you!! Now I know what to fastforward on DVR. Didn’t want to sit through LL anyway, still not sure WHY SNL even wanted heR. She must have paid THEM.

  26. Rich H says:

    Worst skit was FOX News skit. If you’re going to make fun of something, watch it to know what to make fun of. Where did they get Shep sleeping with his dead mother? He’s not impersonating Shep, he’s doing Vincent Price. They hate FNC so much that they made up stuff. They could’ve easily made fun of them for REAL stuff, like overly religious and unreasonable high moral standards.
    BTW, I hate political skits because it dates the show. They should be more like Seinfeld and make skits about regular life. Dating the show will make it unfunny in the future… not that its funny now.

    • Amy says:

      WHOOSH!

      Kinda went over your head there huh?

      And making a date reference like Seinfeld, about SNL dating itself? Ironically played there Rich!

      • Rich H says:

        Yep, went right over my head. Didn’t understand it at all. Thanks for explaining it for me. Oh wait, you didn’t. Why would you respond, say I didn’t understand and NOT explain?

  27. Rich H says:

    They should’ve joked about Lindsay in the monologue and use the rest of the skits to show that she could move forwar. BUT instead, they joked about her in the monologue and beat that dead horse all the way out the studio.

  28. kevin says:

    I knew it was going to be an “epic fail”. Don’t come back hosting for the fifth time Miss Lohan. :(

  29. patty says:

    Best skit was the Disney Housewives, very creative. Worst was the afro digital short (I was never a fan of the digital shorts anyway). I was entertained by the monologue and Scared Straight skit, only because LL made fun of herself. But she did make it really obvious she was reading from cue cards. And she STILL messed up a line during Scared Straight, one about her own movie (referencing having “two twin sisters” as in The Parent Trap).

  30. Lynne says:

    Having come into the show during Weekend Update because of work, cant comment on anything before that. Bill Hader was the best I saw in WU. The skits I saw with LL were lame, whether that was fault of her own or just the skits themselves were horribly written, I dont know. I had hoped this was a stepping stone for Lindsay to get back on track with her acting, but from what I’ve read from you guys here and what I saw last night, it was a lost cause. I will check out Disney Housewives though since it seems unanimously favored.

  31. Michald says:

    How funny. The unanimous choice for funniest sketch isn’t in the article.

  32. Laura Syre says:

    Oh, come ON! The Real Housewives of Disney was hilarious!

  33. John W says:

    I thought Scared Straight was pretty good, especially the little flub at the end. Disney housewives was good too, the rest were okay. The worst was that stupid rude Buddha sketch.

  34. paisley says:

    How could you have not mentioned the Disney Housewives? That was hysterically funny. Kristen Wiig as Cinderella! Whatever. The hi-sevens from the little dwarf hands? Best sketch of the night, by far. Second-best was the opener with creepy Shep Smith of FOX News and the Romney sons — I’m the rebel — I eat sugar! LOL. Weekend Update came in 3rd for me and I could have done without the rest of the show.

  35. Bailey says:

    Anyone else notice in the Scared Straight skit, she calls Samberg “Sidney Crosby”? He’s and NHL player, clever little line for people who know that he looks just like Samberg.

  36. Carrie says:

    In all fairness, Lindsay was not really given a lot of material to work with – seemed she was more sidekick of the week, not host. The writers have a lot to do with it – I can’t imagine she provided them with comedic input – her goal was to show the industry she is “back to work” – showing up on time, not causing problems on set etc. That’s the win for her and I hope entertainment media, bloggers and critics step back a little and realize that she is at least trying and should not be too harsh when she is working her way back from the mess her life was just a few months ago. January Jones was awful as host and did not come with LL’s past problems or the glare of the media spotlight which must add a pressure none of us can comprehend. Melissa McCarthy was outstanding because she is a comedienne and owns the funny. LL was never going to be able to get anywhere near that or near a Timberlake appearance (am I the only one who wishes JT and Fallon would host once a month?). SNL is always hit or miss and when expectations are set too high we will always be disappointed. I am not an LL fan, but I thought she did okay based on the material she was working with – not great, but not a total fail either. Overall the entire episode was sub par – even the digital short which could have been a breakout moment for her had Andy Samberg come up with something better than a giant ‘fro.

  37. Mann says:

    In fairness, the show was just another MEH. The SNL writers have LONG skated on mediocre writing so that’s not Lohan’s fault. There’s not much anyone could have done with that crap.

    She needs to 86 that awful platinum blond hair. I know the trying to channel Marilyn Monroe thing is something her mother cooked up for her, but it’s not working now and it didn’t work when she first tried it years ago. (And she needs to stop listening to Mom, that woman has never had her daughter’s best interests in mind) perhaps too, she should consider not pumping whatever it is she’s pumping into face. She only 25, she looks closer to 40.

  38. kfa1217 says:

    The entire show was a joke… the only skit I laughed at was “Real Housewives of Disney”. Could have been better… much better!

  39. Danielle Notaro says:

    Sorry. I couldn’t watch. I couldn’t look at LL’s plastic face.

  40. Jules says:

    I’m glad I didnt miss much… I was already bored during/after her monologue….
    Dvr the rest..and pass forward……very fast…
    Practically, better that way & no sound…..
    Why they don’t bring back from the dead the ghost of Belushi to host nxt time…will do a better job….
    Or simply, show old repeats instead…

  41. Julie says:

    Well I’m just glad that this is done with and we can move on (and so should she…) Didn’t watch and never planned on watching either. All she got over this is a paycheck for more extra whatever she’s on lately. Been done with that girl for years, and not a SNL hosting job will get me to like her again.

  42. Adrian says:

    Really? The Morning Show one was horrible!

  43. lisa says:

    i seriously could not get past her face. what the heck happened to her cheeks and lips? yack.

    real housewives of disney and the digital short were the highlights.

  44. sarcasmo says:

    The Scared Straight sketch was extremely offensive. It was so homophobic that Kirk Cameron should have been host.

  45. Linda says:

    Jack White as the highlight. I also liked the James Carville bit. That about does it.

  46. Mike says:

    Kristen Wiig carried the Housewives of Disney piece. Without her, it would have been pretty weak. I actually wanted Lohan to do well, but she fumbled so many of her lines, especially in the scared straight sketch. You could criticize her over-reliance on the cue cards, but so many hosts are guilty of that as well. The morning radio sketch was by far her best. Maybe it took her that long to get comfortable. I do agree that she didn’t have the best material to work with, though.

  47. blue devil says:

    I just wanted to thank SNL, for sparing us from a huge problem. Buddhism is probably the only major religion where we can make fun of the god. Imagine the outcry if it were Jesus or Allah. The republicans would be holding press conferences by now and church leaders constantly appearing all over radio and TV throughout March and the Talibans start shooting our troops and muslims burning cars

  48. Kurt-James Dexter Kaulbach says:

    It’s difficult for me not to reserve empathy for an individual who is world-reknowned for her flaws and mistakes. I’d like her to stop making headlines, but that’s not realistic. Because I think we’re watching and waiting for her to die, to kill herself or over-dose. Why else is she relevant? The whole insistence on obsession with Lindsay Lohan is confounding in its venom, ferocity and aggression. What is it this little girl actress with stars in her eyes ever did to deserve the world’s ire? It’s so very unnerving to me. It’s too powerful a manipulation. I’d rather see someone in her current position succeed for a moment on a live sketch comedy show she was once quite good at hosting then pay attention to her through any other format. This from a devoted fan of SNL and of empathy, a withered rarity in the public at large.

    • Angela says:

      I didn’t see SNL this past weekend, but I just want to applaud your comment. Well said. We could certainly use more empathy in this world, I fully agree.

  49. maggie says:

    The “Real Housewives of Disney” sketch was the best. Hader was hysterically funny as Carville and Shepard Smith.

    The sketch about the FM radio morning show was awful. It was even worse than the Scared Straight and Girl Gang sketches.

  50. Jack says:

    Worse SNL ever.

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