Viva la revolucion! The fate of American Idol‘s 11th season is no longer in the hands of a rock legend in your auntie’s Sunday best, that woman who starred in The Cell, and some random dude who’s inexplicably been on America’s No. 1 TV show for over a decade.
Yes, folks, Idol‘s live semifinals begin next Tuesday — and your vote (along with Uncle Nigel’s carefully crafted manipulations) will determine which one of 25 vocalists inherits Scotty McCreery’s crown and scepter.
After announcing 14 of the Season 11 semifinalists on Wednesday night — check out a full recap of the proceedings here — Steven, J.Lo, and Randy gathered on the stage of Le Rêve: The Dream to hand out 10 more live-show berths. Oh, plus, there’ll be a 25th semifinalist this year because why not plagiarize from Simon Cowell’s X Factor playbook? (Next week, the judges will reinstate one of four pre-semifinal evictees — Johnny Keyser, Jermaine Jones, David Leathers Jr., or Awful Cowboy Richie Law — into the competition, creating a Top 25. Innovative!)
On to Thursday’s big announcements:
In the Top 24
No black women!
Oh, wait, Adam “black woman inside him” Brock
Jeremy “cheers for others” Rosado
Shannon “brings out Steven’s pervy side” Magrane
Skylar “nitty gritty country gal” Laine
Hallie “Kim Basinger lookalike” Day
Chase “requisite country dude slot” Likens
Aaron “BGWG (Black Guy With Glasses)” Marcellus
Deandre “lion’s mane, lamb’s voice” Brackensick
Hollie “Uncle Nigel, quit trying to act like she wasn’t part of Season 10!” Cavanaugh
Eben “Adorbs McPinchhischeeks” Franckewitz
Scott “better in Season 10?” Dangerfield
Randoms So Random That Uncle Nigel Didn’t Bother to List Their Names
“Gentle Giant Jermaine Jones” (Really, Ryan?)
David “Mr. Steal Your Girl” Leathers, Jr.
Whew! On that note, I have a full episode recap to write — look for it in the morning here at TVLine.com! — so I’ll turn things over to you.
What do you think of the final 10 contestants in the Top 24? Did any cuts make you sad/happy/furious? Sound off in the comments!