Ask Ausiello Flashback: Spoilers on Moonlighting, Dallas, Cheers, Dynasty, Falcon Crest and More!

Get More: Exclusive, News, Spoilers

Please note: This column was originally published on Sept. 3. 1985

Question: I can’t wait for David and Maddie to finally get together on Moonlighting. The show will be even better then, don’t you think? Any idea if it’ll happen this season? —Fiona
Ausiello: I totally agree, Fi! The only bummer about the show is all that gnarly anticipation! But, we might get our wish for a David/Maddie – Daddie? – hook-up sooner than later: A new rival – David’s brother, no less! – hits on Maddie in the season premiere, and you don’t have to be a detective to figure out what kind of monster that turns David into. (“Green-eyed,” in case you do have to be a detective to get that joke.)

Question: I still can’t believe Bobby is dead on Dallas. Can we just pretend that cliffhanger never happened? —Tiffany
Ausiello: You joke, but my spies tell me Patrick Duffy, like, already wants his job back, and producers are brainstorming ways to make it happen. One idea I’m told is being bandied about: erasing the entire previous season and, in essence, saying, “April Fool’s!” If you ask me, though, that sounds about as likely a scenario as a Larry Hagman/Barbara Eden reunion.

Question: You’re so smart, what do you think the first cancelled show of the season is going to be? —EG
Ausiello: You’re right. I am so smart. And, being so smart, I’m going to have to say Golden Girls. Sorry, but everybody knows Betty White peaked with Sue Ann Nivens.

Question: Is it true Miami Vice is getting a spinoff set in New York? —Vlada
Ausiello: Oh, Vlada, this is how rumors start! No, the show isn’t getting a spinoff — not yet, at least. But the second season opener — directed by Starsky himself, Paul Michael Glaser — is set in Manhattan.

Question: Anything on The Facts of Life? —Kim
Ausiello: Like, totally! In Episode 2, E/R’s Ace, George Clooney, guests as the handyman Mrs. Garrett hires to turn Edna’s Edibles into a rad new boutique. Too bad E/R didn’t work out. He looked pretty good in scrubs.

Question: You must know by now who bought the farm in Dynasty’s Moldavian massacre by now. And still no clues? Come on, dude! Uncool. —Rickey Lee
Ausiello: OK, how’s this? I can’t name names – duh! – but I can tell you that a) one half of a controversial couple runs off with the Grim Reaper, and b) one of the casualties is not Claudia. Unfortunately.

Question: Just curious — how do you get all this scoop? Aren’t you, like, 12? —John
Ausiello: Actually, I’m 13. And while I make it a policy never to reveal my sources, you’d be amazed how plugged in the cafeteria lunch ladies are. In other news, I’m finding myself oddly drawn to my gym teacher Mr. Donnelly. Is that normal?

Question: I really want to like Santa Barbara but it’s not quite doing it for me. What’s your opinion of daytime’s newest soap? —Diego
Ausiello: Trust me, Diego — it gets better. In fact, sources confirm to me exclusively that in about two years Santa Barbara is going to enter a period of such creative superiority that it will become the first soap in history to win the Emmy for best daytime drama three years in a row. Bonus scoop: I hear Robin Wright is in the running to headline a film adaptation of William Goldman’s 1973 novel The Princess Bride, but my spies say her busy SB sked may preclude her from doing it.

Question: Is Dynasty II going to be any good? —Bets
Ausiello: I’ve seen the first episode, and so I can tell you that yes, it’s going to be amazing and camptastic. Provided you have the good sense to only watch the scenes that prominently feature Stephanie Beacham as Alexis II, Sable.

Question: Everything is all Moonlighting, Moonlighting, Moonlighting. How about you give me something on Remington Steele for a change? —Kathie
Ausiello: According to my moles, there’s a major, seismic, utterly life-changing event coming. Which can only mean, in my mind, a wedding, a funeral or a quinceanera.

Question: It’s high time you gave us the scoop on the biggest pop culture mystery of the ’80s: What the heck do you look like?! Show us a picture of yourself! —Jen
Ausiello: [Sigh] OK, just promise you won’t laugh. I’m going through a bit of an awkward phase. Here’s a recent pic of me hanging out with a few friends after school. I’m the one leaping in the air.

Question: So, did Diane and Frasier really get married on Cheers, or what? —Beth
Ausiello: How about if, instead of tell you that, I reveal that, in the wake of Nicholas Colasanto’s death (RIP, Coach), the bar is getting a new tender: dim bulb Woody, played by newbie Woody Harrelson. Not enough for ya? Fine, I’ll tell you this. Sam will be back, Diane will back, and Frasier will be back.

Question: What’s the new season look like on Family Ties? —Krista
Ausiello: Looks a lot like Fletch, actually. When the show returns on Sept. 23, it’ll do so with its own TV-movie spy caper set in England. And wait, it gets better: All 120 minutes are completely Skippy-free!

Question: Falcon Crest. Scoop. Now. Please. —Jana
Ausiello: Well, you already know that soap-hopper Morgan Fairchild is joining the cast as Richard’s new lawyer, Jordan Roberts, right? Right. But what you don’t know yet is that Jordan is (SPOILER ALERT!) not the only character she’ll be playing. And that’s all I can say. I swear.

Question: Will Tony and Angela get to be a couple this season on Who’s the Boss? I mean, now that they’ve kissed… —Suzan
Ausiello: Let’s just say that, in part two of the season premiere, they share a motel room. You do the math!

Question: Please tell me Valene gets her babies back on Knots Landing. Please? —Marty
Ausiello: Fine. Yes, Valene gets her babies back. Now, aren’t you sorry you didn’t ask me when she gets her babies back?

Question: Can we please get another hint about the “hit drama series that’s entering its last season but no one knows it” blind item? —Kate
Ausiello: The network is NBC, the title of the show contains a hyphen, and I pity the fool who can’t figure out the rest.

That’s a wrap, homeboys and girls! Please send questions, comments, and anonymous tips to askausiello@tvline.com. (Additional reporting by Christopher Cowan and Andy Patrick)



Comments (113)

  • LOL!

    Comment by Jake – December 27, 2011 05:37 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This is awesome! I laughing so hard.. hahaha

    Comment by e – December 27, 2011 05:38 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • I’m… sorry got excited ;)

      Comment by e – December 27, 2011 05:40 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • This was fantastic.

      RIP – Santa Barbara. Damn NBC!

      Comment by Brock – December 27, 2011 05:53 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • That was awesome! I laughed at some of the comments, but it also took me back to when I was watching these shows as a child. Thanks for the walk down memory lane.

    Comment by MJ – December 27, 2011 05:39 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Please never do this again. Thank you.

    Comment by Cornflakeguy – December 27, 2011 05:39 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Amen.

      Comment by ThomasTheo – December 27, 2011 05:40 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • PREACH!

      Comment by Yeeeeah – December 27, 2011 05:42 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Don’t listen to this butt. This was funny and cool, Vanity Smurf.

      Comment by TigerNightmare – December 27, 2011 05:51 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Agreed. Not funny, just lame. Please don’t do this again.

      Comment by Michelle – December 27, 2011 06:36 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • This kind of satire is infinitely preferable to another “Top 10 shows of the year” or “20 most beautiful actresses” or “My favorite episodes” filler articles.

      Comment by CJ – December 27, 2011 07:37 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • ^ that.

      Comment by godzilla's_foil – December 27, 2011 05:21 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Well that was a lot of effort for a joke that fell flat after 10 seconds

    Comment by Yeeeeah – December 27, 2011 05:42 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Yet, you took the time to make leave your dazzling comment. Thanks for caring :)

      Comment by Hillary – December 27, 2011 06:08 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
      • Just making sure this doesn’t happen again.

        Comment by ThomasTheo – December 27, 2011 08:26 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
      • Yes, I care because usually I like the site, this was just awful…what’s your point? Jeez, the “oh, why do you comment if you don’t like it” defense has really gotten stale

        Comment by Yeeeeah – December 27, 2011 11:34 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
        • What do you mean it’s gotten stale? I used the word “dazzling.”

          Comment by Hillary – December 27, 2011 03:50 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Exactly. Pretty useless and no laughs.

      Comment by godzilla's_foil – December 27, 2011 05:20 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • LOL! This is funny. Is spoiler alert even a term in 1985?! Well done creating a flashback!

    Comment by KB – December 27, 2011 05:46 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This was outstanding, Ausiello/TVline! Thanks for the laughs and memories!!! You always remind me why this is my favourite TV site.

    Comment by lauren – December 27, 2011 05:47 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • ”…but everybody knows Betty White peaked with Sue Ann Nivens.”

    Pure gold! XD

    Comment by Ribac – December 27, 2011 05:47 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • i am too young to understand anything you said, but i do get the joke though. this is the classic example of what happens to ausiello when majority of the shows are on hiatus.

    Comment by lil – December 27, 2011 05:58 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I was expecting the comments to be full of comments like “You goofed! ER didn’t debut until 1990, so why did you call George Clooney ‘that hunk from E/R’”. But people seem to have got the joke.
    E/R was a one-season sitcom flop starring Elliot Gould with George Clooney in a supporting role from the early 1980′s. “er” was a different show with Clooney as a different character. He starred in 2 radically different shows with the same name.
    And this was much more than a one-joke idea. Well done, Michael

    Comment by Rock Golf – December 27, 2011 06:02 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • I used to love E/R (“Stay back of the white line!”) but I don’t think George Clooney wore scrubs as “Ace.”

      Comment by Jeff – December 27, 2011 06:30 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Rock Golf, thank goodness you were here to explain the joke to us, even though you recognize that we all already got it! And, uh, ER didn’t debut until 1994, not 1990.

      Comment by jennrae – December 27, 2011 03:13 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Bravo Ausiello! When I first started reading, I thought you would use special knowledge from the future to be right about everything, but you went a better way. Betty White peaked indeed! More flashbacks please.

    Comment by George – December 27, 2011 06:02 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Unlike some of the negative Nellies here, I loved the “flashback spoilers.” It made me nostalgic for the shows that I used to watch and I watched all that were mentioned, for possibly the first time ever. The best part? No Gossip Girl. :-P

    Unfortunately, because my memory is fuzzy on some points, I found myself puzzling, “Wait, did Family Ties ever do an episode from England. Did Miami Vice have a spin-off? They didn’t…right?” Oh, and I loved Santa Barbara, too–I still have the last episode recorded on VHS somewhere. I also have the final week of Another World.

    Comment by MelindaB – December 27, 2011 06:04 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Actually for the 1985 season, Family Ties first four episodes of the season were combined to make the “Family Ties Vacation” movie. I totally forgot about that…of course I was only 11 or so…had no real interest in England…I think those years were spent hating Russia (Rocky IV and Red Dawn, etc.)

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Family_Ties_episodes

      Cheers!

      Comment by Robert Nicholson – December 27, 2011 06:12 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
      • Thanks for jostling my memory! I had a young child and was expecting another in the fall of 1985, so it’s not surprising that I don’t recall it–I was probably too busy to watch, and I’m pretty sure that we didn’t have a VCR yet.

        Comment by MelindaB – December 27, 2011 04:17 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • No Gossip Girl and no Glee, this has to be the best AA yet!

      Comment by lacey – December 29, 2011 11:49 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • This column is a stinker and a waste of space.

      Comment by Reina – December 30, 2011 03:39 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I want some Airwolf scoop!

    Comment by Happy Go Lucky – December 27, 2011 06:05 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This is so weird!
    13??
    Good God!

    Comment by Dessy – December 27, 2011 06:05 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Thanks for the “April Fool’s” joke in the gloomy winter!

    Comment by Gwen – December 27, 2011 06:05 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Umm…really 1985? ER didn’t start until 1994! Am I really the only one who noticed that?

    Comment by Risa – December 27, 2011 06:06 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • “E/R” was a different Clooney show. LINK http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086704/

      Comment by Danyelle – December 27, 2011 06:09 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Nevermind! Didn’t realize there was an older version of the show.

      Comment by Risa – December 27, 2011 06:09 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
      • I wouldn’t even say “version.” It was a 30 minute sitcom based in an ER that just happened to have Clooney in it. :-)

        Comment by Nick – December 27, 2011 06:31 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Very cute….but was there a particular reason you chose this date?

    Comment by Bobbi – December 27, 2011 06:06 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • E/R was a shorted lived comedy that was on before ER. Note the difference in yhe title (slash vs bo slash).

    Comment by Mrs O – December 27, 2011 06:08 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Seriously ? If They do that in Dallas, I swear I am quitting the show ! Let me tell you, that “april fool” joke will be remember has the worst twist in the history of television.
    Also, do not get Daddie together. That will kill the show !
    (Yeah, I am about 8 months old, but my mother understand very well my babytalk and type for me).

    Comment by Angie – December 27, 2011 06:08 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This was awesome. Thank you.

    Comment by Ci – December 27, 2011 06:09 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Hilarious!!

    Comment by Nelson – December 27, 2011 06:09 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • No Magnum News?
    Dear Mr. Michael Ausiello, did you not get my (e)mail I send you 3 months ago? :(

    Comment by danielcw – December 27, 2011 06:12 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Thanks for the very clever and witty joke ;) Happy New Year!!!

    Comment by scorpo – December 27, 2011 06:19 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This makes me feel old actually

    Comment by gerald – December 27, 2011 06:37 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • WOW! For a second there I thought my shower transported me back 25 yrs!! Lol

    Comment by Antoinette – December 27, 2011 06:41 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Michael – don’t listen to those holiday Scrooges – this Q/A was clever and funny and entertaining! Happy New Year!

    Comment by markyboo – December 27, 2011 06:44 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • ditto! LOVED IT!!! Smurfs forever

      Comment by kym – January 1, 2012 07:56 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • LoL @ your Golden Girls prediction. Though I can’t talk; I didn’t think Lost would make it past the pilot episode…

    Comment by BG – December 27, 2011 06:46 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • What a fun blast from the past! I’m sure glad Valene got her babies back!

    Comment by Dawn – December 27, 2011 06:48 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Haha I pictured you in diapers writing this column.

    Comment by Jerri – December 27, 2011 07:06 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I can’t believe you’re holding out on me again! I wanted to know if Alex on “Family Ties” would finally get a love interest this season. He is starting college after all. And yes, this is being written a few years before I’m born, but I’m very advanced. Awesome spoiler chat Ausiello! You really should do these back and forth about different decades ;)

    Comment by Justine – December 27, 2011 07:09 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I thought that this was clever, and cute. Thanks for taking me back even for a short while. I was 9 years old in ’85, and didn’t really watch any of the major shows, but I do remember the “Who’s the Boss?” episode. I know that I have seen it some time within the past 25 years. It was a good show..and the “Golden Girls” joke was priceless. Hope that you have a wonderful 2012. :-)

    Comment by rac76 – December 27, 2011 07:20 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • hilarious! loved reading this. :)

    Comment by kadie – December 27, 2011 07:39 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Very funny! :) loved the part about Golden Girls, one of my favorite shows.

    Comment by Meghan – December 27, 2011 07:39 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This is awesome! LOL … so funny and clever … love it!!

    Comment by Danny – December 27, 2011 08:01 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This was awesome! Do another one for 1995! :D

    Comment by Jones19 – December 27, 2011 08:03 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This was great. Fortunately, Claudia did finally bight the dust at the end of Dynasty’s next season; the La Mirage fire. I guess there wasn’t another Carrington brother (Steven and Adam) or husband (Jeff) left for her to romance. Oh, and I miss Santa Barbara.

    Comment by eric – December 27, 2011 08:17 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I would’ve been 4 at the “original date” of this column, but this was a nice way to continue my relaxing day at home. You’re the Boss, Ausiello! The Betty White and E/R ones were my favorites. This would’ve been a great April Fool’s idea, but since it was even more unexpected now, I love it!

    I’m with Jones19 in asking for a 1995 version! (Because many of us know, if you Give a Mouse a Cookie…)

    Comment by Winnie – December 27, 2011 08:19 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Bravo! Loved reading every line. Please do more of these. Special thanks for the Betty White mention.

    Comment by Carolyn – December 27, 2011 08:39 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Captain Awesome! That was hilarious! I love the smurf’s pic! Fantastic Christmas present! Thank you for the laughs!

    Comment by Stephanie – December 27, 2011 09:08 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Golden Girls, indeed! (scoff) Who’d want to watch a show about a bunch of old women! Will be cancelled for sure. Along with every other show since it’s a given that network TV is on its last leg. Cable and MTV rule! Okay, I gotta book and get back to my game of Pong.

    Comment by Jen L. – December 27, 2011 09:11 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • No original V news?

    Comment by Michael Sacal – December 27, 2011 09:15 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • This was awesome. Definitely chuckled a few times reading the column.

    Do 1987 next! What’s up with this FOX channel anyway? It’ll never last!

    Comment by scooterbeanbag – December 27, 2011 09:29 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • They’re going with FBC (Fox Broadcasting Channel), and my sources say that their flagship The Late Show with Joan Rivers has one JC quaking in his golf shoes; whether that’s from fear or because he’s livid with rage is yet to be seen.

      Comment by Mark – December 30, 2011 10:47 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • What a nice, belated Christmas present.

    1990 should be next. :)

    Comment by Juan – December 27, 2011 10:24 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I love how you always find a way to work Santa Barbara back into the conversation. Believe it or not I’ve acquired almost everything from 1984-1988 on bootleg DVD and I’m having a friend watch with me (a first for him). Your comment about how it’s slow in the beginning but goes insane for 4 straight years is right on the money! I can’t wait for the day we don’t have to watch Santana over-or-under-act every freaking day!

    Comment by GaryJr – December 27, 2011 10:37 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • What I wanted to know was if Ralf will ever get new instructions from the aliens? I mean if he did, he’d be walking on air! :-P

    Comment by Scott – December 27, 2011 10:40 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Don’t feel badly. Everyone who writes tries something like this once and it’s never as funny for as long as it takes to read. Just sad filler. Still better than anything at EW.com

    Comment by DT – December 27, 2011 10:40 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • HAHAHAHA!! OMG! I remember about Who’s The Boss!
    I LOVE THIS! Please please more flashbacks!

    Comment by HG – December 27, 2011 10:53 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • LOL. I was six months old almost when this article was “published”.

    Comment by Rob – December 27, 2011 10:57 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I really enjoyed looking back to 1985. Thank you.

    Comment by LMG – December 27, 2011 10:58 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • That was awesome. Please visit some other eras, please. Good job!

    Comment by Eric – December 27, 2011 11:05 AM PDT  Reply To This Post

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