A brave group of stars will endure inevitable outbursts of rage from their comrades, possible humiliation in front of millions of TV viewers, and close proximity to Donald Trump’s waking-nightmare hair on Season 5 of Celebrity Apprentice (aka Season 12 of The Apprentice). Let’s ponder the chances of the first nine would-be contestants whose names have leaked to the media — in order from least- to most-likely to win.
Cheryl Tiegs: To my knowledge, the swimsuit model of yore doesn’t seem like the type who’d rip a rival limb from limb just to earn a spot in the Trump Family’s inner circle. And that makes her as likely a candidate as any for the first contestant out. Odds: 30-1
Teresa Giudice: Veteran of Real She-Beasts of New Jersey once flipped a table to get her point across during a dinner party. We can only hope she’ll pull a similar stunt in the boardroom once she’s inevitably fired by Mr. Trump. I mean, they only cast her so we’d get to experience the inevitable joy of her unceremonious dumping, yes? Odds: 20-1
George Takei: Openly gay Star Trek actor has enjoyed something of a career resurgence with zany appearances on Psych, Heroes, Community, and Howard Stern’s radio show, just to name a few. His snappy sense of humor could make him a crowd-pleasing oasis in a sea of fury, but he doesn’t immediately register as a guy who’ll excel at making guerilla ads for Laughing Cow cheese, or whatever the heck the contestants will be asked to do this time around. Odds: 12-1
Dee Snider: Someone’s got to bring the requisite rage to the party, and the outrageous Twisted Sister frontman — who’s also dabbled in horror films and reality TV — proved with “I Wanna Rock” and “We’re Not Gonna Take It” that he can scream with the best of ’em. Odds: 10-1
Marco Andretti: IndyCar series star isn’t afraid of putting his life on the line in a competitive situation, which should serve him well if he accidentally finds himself caught in the middle of a Teresa-Dee cage match. Odds: 8-1
Victoria Gotti: Managed to sustain three whole seasons of reality ridiculata on A&E’s Growing Up Gotti, so Celebrity Apprentice should be a comfortable format. Plus, as the daughter of Gambino family mafia boss John Gotti, she should be skilled at making offers her opponents can’t refuse. Odds: 5-1
Clay Aiken: American Idol Season 2 runner-up not only survived but thrived staring down Simon Cowell’s guns of harsh truth, so The Donald’s steely stare will probably seem as threatening to him as a kitten in a field of dandelions. Plus, Clay’s never been afraid of a little verbal sparring, which should please his ratings-courting overlord. Odds: 4-1
Debbie Gibson: Hasn’t had a major hit in 20 years, but has somehow stayed on the radars of ’80s aficionados everywhere via concerts, theater, reality TV, and small-screen crapsterpieces like Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. Plus, this is a gal who, back in the day, simultaneously released a single and a fragrance called “Electric Youth,” so she knows a thing or two about marketing synergy. Odds: 5-2
Arsenio Hall: I don’t know why, but as I’m writing this item, the universe is telling me it’s time for a major Arsenio comeback. And that the comeback will begin with Celebrity Apprentice. I know, I know…that’s kind of an oxymoron, but what am I gonna do, ignore the universe? Odds: 2-1
What do you think of the rumored cast members for the latest Celebrity Apprentice installment? Who do you think is most likely to win? And do you think you’ll tune in? Sound off below, and for all my reality recaps and commentary, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!