Teen Choice Awards: Three Best Moments, Worst Speech, and Full TV Winners List

The Teen Choice Awards is one of those kudos-fests where it really doesn’t matter who wins or loses, and I guess that’s why it seemed strange that Sunday night’s two-hour telecast spent more time focusing on handing out trophies (it seemed like pretty much every hot celebrity under the age of 35, as well as Ellen DeGeneres, got one) and less on musical performances and comedy sketches. Still, the lack of compelling happenings makes it all that much easier to narrow down a list of the evening’s highs and lows. So let’s get to the ceremony that finally gave Linda Hunt a surf board with which to bookend her Oscar (I didn’t make that up, really):

Three Best Moments of the Telecast
* Kaley Cuoco as Host: Yeah, that’s not really a “moment,” but if I separated the Big Bang Theory actress’s individual contributions, she’d undoubtedly take all three slots on this list. Cuoco attacked her middling setups and punch lines with such breezy loopiness that she made it impossible not to giggle. I particularly liked watching her intro the Choice Vampire category with a set of plastic bloodsucker fangs in her mouth (not easy to say “comes out in October” with those teefs!), and her adorkable game of ping-pong with Chuck star Zachary Levi.

* Community‘s Joel McHale and Gillian Jacobs presenting the trophy for Choice TV Show — Sci Fi/Fantasy: After running through a litany of the world’s woes, McHale declared that “endangered animals will be motivated to repopulate their destroyed habitats” after the announcement of the best series about “teens flying unicorns in space.” Jacobs preceded the roll call of nominees by intoning “the vigils and burnt sacrifices end now!” Too bad these two couldn’t have joined Cuoco in hijacking the entire affair.

* Tyra Banks maintaining her staunch commitment to the ridiculous by introducing the Choice Male Artist category as “Choice Male Artisté.” Not sure if Ty-Ty was aiming for intentional laughter or if she just thinks things sound more fashionable when you turn up the volume on French by 50 percent.

Worst Acceptance Speech
* Ashton Kutcher, picking up Choice Movie Actor: Romantic Comedy, for No Strings Attached, sang Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” almost in its entirety while wearing flip flops, a woven hat, plaid shirt, and shades. Only made worse by Kutcher’s huffy advice to teens about not charging items to their credit cards if they don’t have money in the bank to pay for it. Easy for Mr. Demi Moore to say! I wanted someone to hand a statuette to Fergie when the cameras caught her giving the “cut” signal to the person in the seat next to her.

Random Ridiculousness
* Justin Bieber having to aggressively hoist his sagging pants while taking the stage to accept a sack full of trophies. “Anything is possible if you set your mind to it,” squeaked The Biebs. Tell that to child soldiers in Rwanda.
* Demi Lovato getting the “Acuve Inspiration Award” for going public about her depression and eating disorder. Can we let the kid have a couple years of recovery before we drag her in front of a mic and make her publicly discuss her “incredible journey”?
* Tyra Banks introducing the return of Sean Kingston, who’s recovered from a jet-ski accident, by eloquently noting that when news of Kingston’s injuries first broke, “Everybody was like ‘Oh my God.’”
* “Teens” chose The Tourist‘s Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp as Choice Actress and Actor in the Action/Adventure Movie category, and Linda Hunt as Choice Actress in a TV Action Show? Alrighty then.

What did you think of the Teen Choice telecast? Did I miss any of your best and worst moments? Sound off in the comments!

TELEVISION TROPHIES (TELEVISED AND NON-TELEVISED)
Choice Drama: Gossip Girl
Choice Actress, Drama: Blake Lively, Gossip Girl
Choice Actor, Drama: Chace Crawford, Gossip Girl
Choice Comedy: Glee
Choice Actress, Comedy: Selena Gomez, Wizards of Waverly Place
Choice Actor, Comedy: Cory Monteith, Glee
Choice Action Series: NCIS: Los Angeles
Choice Actress, Action: Linda Hunt, NCIS: Los Angeles
Choice Actor, Action: Shane West, Nikita
Choice Sci-Fi/Fantasy: The Vampire Diaries
Choice Actress, Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Actor, Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Ian Somerhalder, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Animated Show: The Simpsons
Choice Reality Show: Jersey Shore
Choice Male Reality/Variety Star: Paul “Pauly D” Del Vecchio, Jersey Shore
Choice Female Reality/Variety Star: The Kardashians
Choice Reality Competition Show: American Idol
Choice TV Personality: Jennifer Lopez, American Idol
Choice Breakout Show: The Voice
Choice Breakout Star: Darren Criss, Glee
Choice Female Scene Stealer: Kat Graham, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Male Scene Stealer: Michael Trevino, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Villain: Justin Bieber, CSI

SUMMER
Choice TV Show: Pretty Little Liars
Choice TV Star, Male: Ian Harding, Pretty Little Liars
Choice TV Star, Female: Lucy Hale, Pretty Little Liars

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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57 Comments
  1. Jay says:

    Great! Another awards show where Fringe gets snubbed.

    • Dean says:

      I wouldn’t worry — these are based on popularity with the contemporary Disney audience and not quality (as you may be able to tell with the majority of winners…)

    • Phoebi says:

      Fringe isn’t even a teen show?

    • Annie says:

      A show where Bieber gets an award? I don’t want Fringe in the same award.

    • Lindsay says:

      …on a *teen* awards show. …where Blake Lively and Chase Crawford won awards for their acting abilities.

      Did this really come as a shock to you, Jay?

    • nicky says:

      Yeah, am I the only person who’s kinda embarrassed at the current teenage taste?

      Anyway, where’s the winner for choice web star? I know the nominees weren’t invited to the awards show, but there WAS that category. I was hoping to find out who won here, even though it’s not TV – because it’s visual entertainment and probably the non-TV category closest to TV.

    • raelee514 says:

      I am fine with Fringe and Supernatural getting no wins here. To honest. I could have voted for Jared and SPN but it was the Teen Choice awards, I couldn’t really bring myself to care, not being a teen.

    • Maryb889 says:

      @Jay: What part of TEEN Choice Awards do you not understand?

  2. Sabrina says:

    I think Maggie Q, a legit action star, was robbed of her award. Nothing against Linda Hunt but what heck — how was she nominated in an action category?

  3. George says:

    Same with Chuck, no love its way

    • Aiden says:

      I wouldn’t really put too much weight on the TCAs, though. It’s nothing to take seriously. The award winners were actually so ridiculous, it’s amusing. I didn’t think teens watched NCIS: LA, but here it goes winning the best action series award. So freakin’ random. Hey, at least we got Chuck’s Zachary Levi playing an enjoyable-to-watch adorkable round of ping pong with Kaley Cuoco. That was quite an image.

      • Sarah says:

        Im 14 and I watched ncis la since the series premier, oh and that was the best ping pong ever!!! Viva la nerdolution!

  4. Anissa says:

    Blake and Chace for actors?! If they must vote for Gossip Girl actors act least choose ones that can act like Leighton, Ed, and Penn…all those two do is pout and look pretty/sexy.

    • Sharon says:

      So true. Leighton Meester not being nominated is just a disgrace. Not only that but Justin Bieber as TV Villian when there were nominees like Ed Westwick, Jane Lynch and Seth Macfarlane?? Kid doesn’t even know how to act!

  5. Celia H says:

    Jared Padalecki was ROBBED.

  6. @alvnjsph says:

    Oh my! Pauly D.? The Kardashians? Jersey Shore? Have mercy.

  7. qeeee says:

    Blake won because Leighton wasn’t in that Category and Ed Westwick lost to the lamest person ever, Justin Beiber. Seriuosly. I wanna know how Nikita and Maggie Q, lost to NCIS:LA. WTF?

  8. Ivy says:

    Most ridiculous part = Maggie Q getting robbed her surboard for best Female TV action star. Like really? Teens need to learn how to vote. Plus, Shane West didn’t get to go on stage to receive his award.

  9. Josh says:

    At least now I know who to blame for keeping the Kardashians relevant.

  10. fernando says:

    I’m sorry but I think Troian Bellisario should have won summer tv choice female, shoot I think she deserves an emmy out all of the girls on the show Troian acts the best and thats a fact.

  11. anna says:

    Wtf?!?! Vampire Diaries should never have even been created. I mean come on, Supernatural or Smallville were the obvious choices. And Gossip Girl? No words for that. Bones is amazing. And NCIS:LA? CHUCK CHUCK CHUCK! Zac and Yvonne should have taken those surfboards.

    • Mia says:

      TVD has its flaws but it is a good show. Nina should have won Choice TV actress. She dominated as Katherine and Elena. And no offense for Demi Lovato but this is a girl who hasn’t been out of rehab for a year I agree they should have waited a bit. The best moment was when TVD was on stage and the Teen Wolf cast just looked dazed and confused. And Kat Graham winning huh? When Candice Accola proved she had chemistry with everyone and really shined this season. Her and Michael Trevino were awesome this season.

  12. ''''''''' says:

    Adam Levine should’ve won best persoality and The Voice should’ve won break out show seriously!!!

  13. Elizabeth says:

    I desperately need to know what Linda Hunt said when she was told she’d won. That is all.

  14. nonabgo says:

    You all forget that these were all chosen by kids under 18. I would have actually been surprised if TVD and Gossip Girl didn’t get so many awards. It’s just what kids watch these days…

  15. Kita says:

    MAGGIE Q SHOULD HAVE WON!!!!!

  16. vampfan says:

    I cringed the entire time Ashton Kutcher was on stage. C’mon, really?? The ENTIRE song?? Awkward!! Makes me wonder what he was high on before he got up there.

  17. Julie says:

    Maggie Q definitely deserved the award for TV Female Action Star!!! Action has been her genre for fourteen years and she tirelessly works her ass off to make Nikita look as real as possible. Plus she does her own freakin’ stunts!!! How the hell does she lose to Linda Hunt who does no kind of action whatsoever. All the other female nominees deserved that award over Linda. Not trying to be rude, but it’s the truth. Maggie Q and the other nominees were robbed.

  18. Daniel says:

    I don’t like it how Ellen won an award it’s the TEEN choice awards not for middle aged housewives

  19. Reality Check says:

    The point of this awards show is a ratings-grabber for the summer doldrums – and that’s it. Highly doubt any of the “winners” will have “Teen Choice Award Winner” carved on their tombstone.

  20. Tanya says:

    Love that the camera man cut to Fergie as she was giving the cut signal when Ashton won the award, which should have gone to her husband Josh Duhamel!

  21. madde says:

    oh please? something is wrong. im a teen and i know chuck is the best show of them all!!

  22. divaldooney says:

    Chuck was robbed

  23. impliedbazinga says:

    In what universe does Cory Monteith win an award over the brilliant Emmy & Golden Globe winner Jim Parsons? Hysterical.

    People, people. Simmer down. It’s the mass Bieber and vampire hysteria a.k.a. the TEEN CHOICE Awards. It’s not exactly the Holy Grail of awards shows. Your faves getting “robbed” of a surfboard is virtually tantamount to shiny, legit statuettes elsewhere.

  24. Shye says:

    I’m a teen 17, I voted for Anna Torv multiple times along with Maggie Q. Those two should have won. Fringe isn’t big in teen demographics but there are some of us that watches the show. But I guess this award like many others are all a joke, its about popularity not talent and I wasted 5min*7dys= 35 min of my time.

  25. Amelia says:

    One good thing was Harry Potter winning and their tribute. It was kind of ridiculous the amount of times they showed Justin Beiber, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift; if it had been a drinking game of taking a shot every time they showed one of the three, everyone would have been wasted. Also, Robert Pattinson not being aware of the prevalence of blood cancers and the rates in kids, is kind of ridiculous. This guy must live under a rock and not be aware of a little disease called Leukemia.

  26. Chuckfanatic says:

    So lame that chuck didn’t get the action tv series, and that Zach levi didn’t win for action tv actor, and Yvonne Strahovski didn’t win either, wow what a freakin fail teen choice awards, I voted so much.

  27. Thárcyla says:

    Really? does anybody really care about TCA? It’s a very much predictable award. The winners are so lame… I am a teen myself and the most enjoyable part was Zachary and Kaley playing ping pong. I just loved it. The rest…

    • Thárcyla says:

      OHHH i am sorry I forgot about the Harry Potter tribute. That was.. really touching. As a big fan, I got teary! Harry Potter is, as Barney would say, Legen – wait for it – dary!

  28. Tater says:

    It is a shame just how much CHUCK continues to get robbed…And yeah I know that the Teen Choice awards are not that important but still, it is the only award show that seems to acknowledge CHUCK’s existance…Most other shows won’t even nominate it :( The show it’s self definitely deserved something plus can someone explain to me how Glee is a comedy over CHUCK and the other nominees?? I mean without Jane Lynch wheres the funny?? Also Adam Baldwin is EXTREMELY UNDERATED..Atleast a nomination please.. Looks like the creators of CHUCK will need to turn Lester into a vampire if their are ever going to have a fair chance at an award show..lol. Vampire themed JEFFSTER might just pack a punch enough to combat Glee + Vampire “craze”..lol.

  29. Tyson says:

    Sean Berdy was robbed!!

  30. flipped says:

    How on earth did Chace Crawford win for drama actor? That must be a joke right? Teens and their hormones.

  31. Winnie says:

    so disappointed, maggie q didn’t win!

  32. J. says:

    I just can’t believe these awards are actually taken seriously by anyone over the age of 17. Blake Lively won an award for best dramatic actress? Seriously???

  33. Dec says:

    The comment about Demi Lovato makes no sense to me. She went public about her issues and recovery to show that eating disorders and depression are not shameful. Only when we talk about these things will teens feel more comfortable about getting help. Demi is certainly an inspiration, and she has not hesitated to talk about her journey. She didn’t get dragged to do anything.

  34. Someone says:

    I loved that award show I think all the winners were right… I pretty mouch voted for all the people who won:)

  35. anyone says:

    Realy? justin bieber as the best villain… I am sick of this guy

  36. Brittany says:

    Can’t believe the Biebs won Best TV Villain for getting show on CSI over the genius that is Jane Lynch…. or even Ed Westwick.

  37. Sg54 says:

    I agree with everything here-especially the part about ashton kutcher, ugh- except for the part about demi lovato. honestly, y did selena gomez get 7 bajillion awards for mediocre acting and terrible singing with an autotuned voice for songs she doesn’t even write? At least Demi writes her own songs, and actually has a voice. She deserves it.

  38. MUNYARWANDA says:

    “Tell that to child soldiers in Rwanda”? This is ridiculous. I am from Rwanda and there aren’t any child soldier in Rwanda. Rwandan children have never been to war. Where do you get something like that?

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