Dancing With the Stars Results: Did the Right Couple Go Home Tonight?

Though I’ve never actually read The Agony and the Ecstasy — I was too busy watching reality TV — this classic literary title perfectly encapsulated tonight’s Dancing With The Stars results show. It was as if DWTS‘ producers spent too much time watching Survivor and decided to create a quasi in-house immunity challenge that asked: How much pain and pleasure can we inflict on our viewers within two bloated hours of primetime TV?

Let us count the ways! Here goes:

The Agony:
* Filler alert! The DWTS Troupe’s utterly unnecessary opening number to a medley of past winning freestyle songs. Inexplicably, they were back for a second round later on. Enough already!

* Double filler alert! Season 7 runner-up Warren Sapp, Season 9 champ Donny (“this is the greatest show on television!”) Osmond, and season 8 champ Apolo Anton Ohno’s expert analysis on the freestyle; Even Season 7 champ Robo Brooke Burke shared her strategies! A forced, painful trip down memory lane — at least Tom came up with the memorable ‘Brooke Burke Booty Booby’ line — with split screen commentary, no less.

* Tom’s game but painful efforts to make those memory-lane interviews remotely amusing, or entertaining. Thanks for trying, Tom!

The Ecstacy:
* Last week Adele, this week Stevie Nicks (DWTS knows its divas!)! The legendary and eternally youthful Ms. Nicks stepped out of her 1970s time machine to perform a brand new song, “Secret Love,” and then tug my sentimental heart with a stirring version of the Fleetwood Mac classic “Landslide.” All that was missing was a twirl, Stevie!

* 13-year-old Tayla Kelly of Rochester, NY — who was born with Primary Immune Deficiency Disease — living out her DWTS dream as she shared the famous stage with pros Lacey Schwimmer and Chelsie Hightower in a zippy routine set to La Roux’s “Bulletproof.” “This is her night to get on that stage and show the world that she can do anything,” said her mom, Jill. Did she ever! You rock, Tayla!

* Pitbull’s sizzling performance (featuring Ne-Yo and Nayer) of “Give Me Everything” was epic, energetic, and most definitely en fuego.

* DWTS Season 2 winner Drew Lachey returned to team with former partner Cheryl Burke to recreate the all-time fan favorite freestyle dance to “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.”

* Reliving Hines’ highly emotional post-dance tears of utter relief and gratitude from Monday night. Real men most definitely do cry!

With that, let’s leave our categories for the ultimate moment of truth — tonight’s results:

Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff
Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff

“The memories I take with me are Day One, when we came out here with the Foxtrot, and this place erupted,” said a gracious Macchio, who joins Romeo, Kendra Wilkinson, Chris Jericho, Mike Catherwood, Wendy Williams, Sugar Ray Leonard and Petra Nemcova on the DWTS sidelines. “I will never forget how the fans have driven us through every week,” added Macchio, before a shout out to his partner. “Karina, you have inspired me in so many ways, with your heart, your talent, your class, your integrity as an artist and even more so as a human being. I am proud to have been your dance partner, and more proud to be your friend.”

And with that, it’s your turn. Did seeing Stevie Nicks drag your heart around, too? How big was the lump in your throat watching the inspiring Tayla Kelly fulfill her DWTS dream? And lastly, which couple is your pick to claim the glittery Mirror Ball trophy? Sound off in the comments, and let us know in our poll if the right couple went home! –-Mitch Rustad

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Beverley says:

    The winner-take-all cha-cha last night was just a lame ploy to keep Chelsea on. She may have better dancing skills than Ralph, but she doesn’t have the fan base that he has. So the producers came up with this way to ensure she stayed and someone else went. Hey producers, you created this popularity contest, live with it and don’t manipulate it to get the outcome you want. More popular but less technically gifted dancers have won before, and that’s OK. Look at Emmitt Smith and Donny Osmond. Popular but not the best dancers. Chelsea would have been gone tonight if not for the cha-cha stunt that was shoved down our throats.

    • Awesomedancer says:

      I know even look on chelsea’s wiki page it says dancer on occupation!!!!

    • raun says:

      Yep, it was that Stupid winner take all cha cha….who’s stupid idea was that?…but u have to admit Karina’s choreography lacked something this season..

    • Captain says:

      Oh bitter conspiracy theories. Anyone who looked at dial idol can see that Chelsea hasn’t been hurting in the votes department (some weeks she had the most votes from fans). Just cause you don’t like her, doesn’t mean that TPTB are rigging the competition for her. She deserved to win it and it was clearly invented as a way to kill time instead of sway the competition someone’s way. If Hines had won I guaruntee no one would be complaining about it.

    • Reality says:

      “Base?” Who cares about a base….the show is a DANCING competition. Chelsea and Hynes are the only dancers left you moron.
      Kirsty is a big fat 230lb load who is one step above Chloris Leachman. She has been givin score inflations for weeks! This competition is not about Fan bases rooting for their favorite overweight slob…it’s about who can dance the best…

      • OK says:

        Can we get off her weight already? She’s actually a really good dancer.

        • Reality says:

          Fine, SHE CANNOT Dance…period. She is awful…literaly one step above Chloris Leachman!

        • Reality says:

          Like it or not, the producers and judges have pushed Kirsty all along….because she seems to have some popularity and without her the finals would consist of a relatively unknown football player (until this show) and a fairly unknown disney star. They have pushed Kirsty by inflating her scores because she relates to the majority of the audience of overweight miserable house wives or old women who see themselves in Kirsty. They destroy the young hot girl even though she is better by a long shot. Kirsty has never completed a dance worth at 7 and yet if she is standing, they give her 9’s. Most importantly, the difficulty level she does is Chloris Leachman level….and you know it.

      • Kosha says:

        Reality – have you watched this show? It really isn’t about dance, but who gets the most votes. While Chelsea is talented, Mark is creepy and Ralph, Kirstie and Hines are more compelling contestants. If Hines had won the WTA points, you’re right, no one would complain because he is a clear fan favorite.

        • Reality says:

          I agree with you….that the Producers have been pushing “compelling” contestants…meaning Kirsty. If they did make up the 15 point contest it was designed to show some level of respectability to what is “supposed” to be a dance competition. Of course, giving Kirsty anything above a 7 this season already destroyed all credibility they show might have ever had. Mark is creepy this year….but that isn’t Chelsea’s fault. And Ralph got the haley treatment last night

  2. Yoyowazup says:

    Not Ralph!!

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Hines and Kym showed true grace and inspiration last night. They faced something incredibly scary and came out on the other side triumphant. I really want the two of them to win. Chelsea is going to be a bigger competitor than Kirstie, and I can’t stand Mark. Hines and Kym all the way!!

    • The Dancing Fool says:

      Hines & Kym are all about elegance & truly loving to dance, they bring their passion! Chelsea & Mark are about fluff. It will be up to US – you & me – to vote & vote often for Hines & Kim to save the day for the true champions of this DWTS Season!

  4. Diana says:

    Its a shame a season that had such great potential compared to recent seasons is ending so …. lackluster and boring.

  5. robinepowell says:

    I’m voting for Hindes and Kym since Romeo and Cheslie were eliminated last week.

    I really want to see Kym win her second Mirror Ball Trophy. Mark has two and he’s always stepping out of the dance boundries this season. Not to mention his attitude is drivng me nuts.

    He’s won two seasons and thinks he knows everything. You never saw Cheryl, Julianne or Dereck act like that, ever!


    • Erin says:

      I disagree that Derek hasn’t acted like Mark. He has been the judges favorites for many seasons and he knows it. I was happy not to see him this season. The show is pretty predictable when certain pros get certain people ala Derek with Jennifer Grey and Nicole Scherzinger. Both seasons they should have just given them the trophys right away and ended the competition.

  6. Ellen says:

    I would love to kick Brooke Burke to the curb. Her mistake with the coin toss showed how stupid she is. She asks the dumbest questions, “So, how do you feel being in last place?” Her remark last night “If you haven’t voted you are LAME” shows how tasteless she is. Bring back Samantha!

    • Karen says:

      Samantha was no better (I think she was worse). That “co-host” position sucks. The one I think could make it work is Cat Deeley from So You Think You Can Dance.

      • Sara Auburn says:

        Uh, actually the public DID vote for him, A LOT. That was not the issue. The issue here in this case was that the judges pulled out all the stops to take the control out of the public’s hands. As says so in this article: http://www.puredwts.com/2011/05/17/dwts-season-12-week-9-dancing-by-the-bogus-numbers/

        And as for his dancing ability goes…I don’t know where people are getting this from but he IS a good dancer. He is not perfect, which is fine because that is not necessary. But if you watch his and Karina’s performances they danced with almost flawless synchronicity everytime. His footwork, legwork, and their turns, twists and spins were synchronized and clean. The judges complained about his “hands,” he fixed it then they went on to his hips. His hips have progressed too and still he wasn’t “sexual” enough. When they gave them sex it was too much and he needed a diaper? Ridiculous. There is nothing “creepy’ about him either. That comes from you. Just ridiculous projection on your part. Sorry.

    • Bob says:

      Sorry, cannot agree on the Samantha part. One of the reasons why she was removed is her aqwardness around people…horrible timing and truely not to bright. Brook could do better but really, anyone you put in there is just fluff.

  7. SJ says:

    Even though I’ve been pulling for Kirstie all season, I really felt that it was her time to go home tonight based on talent alone, not Ralph.

    I could really do without the first hour of ratings mongering filler. Just cut to the chase. A one hour results show is plenty.

    This season Mark seems to be discontent and it’s bringing out an attitude that is not pleasing to see. With the edgy, innovative choreography he has been doing, I think he would be better to get a gig across the hall with So You Think You Can Dance. He has done some great stuff but I feel that he is being held back by the judges (mostly Len) and the ballroom might not be quite ready for what he wants to bring to it.

    So glad Kym is alright. She is one very lucky lady.

  8. Georgia says:

    I’ve watched this show every season and I’ve really enjoyed it but the winner take all crap was so not cool. I won’t watch the show anymore.

    • Karen says:

      I don’t think the “winner take all” had much effect on the outcome. The public didn’t vote as much for Ralph, so he’s gone.

  9. Ignazio Meloni says:

    Ralph Macchio elimination was in the ‘Air’ since long time. To me (personal opinion as ex dancer) is obvious the many judgements on the ‘Trio’ on the desk was unbalanced, unfair and specially in the last ‘Salsa’ dance with Ralph they passed the border with the ‘Diaper’.
    Did they maybe missed the ‘napkin’ of Chelsea few weeks ago when she danced on the top of Goodman? I don’t remember at that time the comment were as cruel as for Ralph.
    Could be at the end the public (phone calls) were the main responsible of this elimination? Maybe or maybe not but indeed the influence of judges on the ‘Air’ was there. Nevertheless the last judgement of the judges was completely out of ‘Class’ and as ex-dancers they show publicly they don’t have such elegance judging in ballroom.
    Ralph was always the same all trough the competition, performer and good dancer and most of all HE HAS THE GOOD LOOK OF BALLROOM DANCER, despite other exhibitioners.

  10. Lol barker says:

    I wish this stupid show was based more on who the fans pick than who the idiot judges want. I hate the judges and the producers lame ways of keeping the people THEY want to stay. Don’t even waste your time with this show anymore

  11. Paisley says:

    Stevie Nicks was wonderful and a great addition to the FM theme on Glee this season. Tayla brought tears to my eyes. And as shameful as the instant chacha danceoff is in theory, I was ok w/ Ralph’s elimination. Chelsea/Mark outperformed him. I predict a Hines/Kym victory next week.

  12. Lisa says:

    I am so tired of how long these things are. I only tune in to see who gets eliminated next (or read online in AM). I know DWTS and Idol can shorten these shows when they get down to a few couples/singers. I am not investing all of my life in these things!

  13. Lorie says:

    I was hoping Kirstie, not Ralph, would be eliminated. From day 1, he was my sentimental favorite. He was a class act, and this gig made me fall in love with him all over again.
    I will now give all of my votes to Hines and Kym. Stevie Nicks rocked!!

  14. Conspiracy says:

    There is a conspiracy…not to keep the best dancers in the show like Chelsea and Hynes…but to keep the 230lb loads in the show who can’t dance…but for some reason are popular.
    Enjoy this Kirsty…because in a sane world you would have gone home weeks ago! You’re horrible

  15. Karen says:

    I’m glad Ralph went home. There is something kinda creepy about him. Never was a fan of his on DWTS.

    I do not understand the freestyle dance to “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” being a fan favorite. There really wasn’t anything special about it. I can name a few that I thought were better….Kristi Yamaguchi, Shaun Johnson, Helio Castroneves, Apolo, even Robo Brooke! Nope, sorry…don’t understand it.

  16. OK says:

    Chelsea is a better dancer though, so it kind of sucks she’s getting blamed for sending Ralph home. I mean, Ralph was awesome but he wasn’t as good. She also gets a lot of crap because her partner has a massive ego. Also, I think we should start blaming how they over-score Hines.

  17. Sam2 says:

    Last year everyone was livid that Bristol Palin, who gave a new meaning to the term wallowing buffalo, made it to the finals over Brandy, who was a beautiful dancer. TPTB listened, and created the 15 point cha-cha-gate, so that the judges could save a good dancer…Abject lesson in being very careful what you wish for…you just might get it.

  18. Fan says:

    Tayla Kelly representing Rochester with gusto! Woot Woot!

  19. round and jolly says:

    Leave Kirstie and Max alone. I was thrilled to see them do those lifts with her in her red dress. Round women need someone to look up too and she is showing all of us how to be sexy, graceful, determined and fierce. I love her and I am voting for her with all my cell phones, etc.

  20. rodg12 says:

    So glad Chelsea made it. Now the finals might at least be a competition. If she would have been eliminated, Hines would have absolutely wiped the floor with the other two. Wouldn’t have even been close. At least Chelsea can make it interesting.

  21. Amber says:

    Stupid instant cha-cha competition!!!!!! I wish they had just done their usual swing dance contest. And I really wish people commenting on this website would get off the issue of Kirstie’s weight. The woman is 60 years old and looks amazing. I can only hope to look that good when I’m her age. Her skin is flawless and she has such great hair. And she has lost a lot of weight since she started DWTS. Plus, she was never really that big to begin with. She was just “Hollywood fat” compared next to anorexic starlets. She’s certainly not “normal person fat”. People who make fun of her weight, and this includes comedians and other late-night personalities (I’m talking to you, Conan O’Brien), are just stuck in a high school mentality. They’re all insecure, bitchy, bullying cheerleaders, and they need to grow up and start acting like kind, mature adults. Bullies are the worst kind of people out there.

    I think Hines will win, and I’m fine with that. He’s a sweet, gracious guy, and never really had a bad performance this whole season. I would also be cool with Kirstie winning just so she can stick it in the faces of all those who put her down, though Hines is probably the better dancer. Just please, please don’t be Chelsea that wins. She has annoyed the crap out of me this whole season, and I’m still upset about them stacking the deck in her favor with that d@mn cha-cha competition.