Who Should Sub For Charlie Sheen on Men?

For better or worse, there is only one Charlie Sheen. So while the one and only one gets his act together — and by some accounts, it could take a while — we think the producers of Two and a Half Men should seriously consider bringing in a temp to fill that void and, just as importantly, keep their crew on the clock. But who? That is the question. Luckily, we have the answer… several answers, in fact. Consider, won’t you:

Michael J. Fox | When the erstwhile Alex P. Keaton bowed out of Spin City to deal with his Parkinson’s disease, Sheen stepped in as the series’ new lead. So wouldn’t it be fitting if, all these years later, Fox was there for Sheen in his hour of need?

Ashton Kutcher | Though No Strings Attached did well at the box office, were any of us ever as attached to Mr. Demi Moore as we were when he played Kelso on That ’70s Show? On the small screen, he’s appealingly larger-than-life.

Andrew McCarthy | What if for some reason — hey, we don’t write the show — Alan (Jon Cryer) happened to take in an old high school nemesis… one who insisted on calling him “Duckie”?

Seth Green | He’s an actor, a producer, a cartoon character… he was even a werewolf (before werewolves needed six-packs). Since there’s clearly nothing he can’t do — and make us laugh while he’s doing it — why not serve him this gig on a silver platter?

Justin Bieber | Remember how it ruined The Brady Bunch when mop-topped cousin Oliver joined the family? What if Jake (Angus T. Jones) just happens to also have a mop-topped cousin, only instead of wrecking the show, he just wrecks… well, his life? Could be fun, no?

Nicholas Brendan | No stranger to tough times, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum would be uniquely appreciative of what’s at stake in Sheen’s rehab. Plus, does anyone not miss “the Zeppo”? (Put your hand down, Cordy.)

Betty White | In a way, Miss Popularity almost has to replace Sheen during his recovery. Unless we’re mistaken, Two and a Half Men is one of only three TV shows in history on which she has yet to appear.

OK, your turn. Which of the above can you most easily see filling in for Charlie and “Charlie”? Or do you have a better idea, keeping in mind that both Sheen’s big brother and dad, Emilio Estevez and Martin Sheen, have already guested on the CBS hitcom?

You know where to stick your input… below!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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140 Comments
  1. eliza-ann says:

    How about Charlie’s brother Emilio. They could do it like they did it on Rosanne when Becky was replaced by another actress to only be replaced by the original actress. Same character, different actors.

  2. chris says:

    Sheen will be out of rehab in like a week, so TAHM wont be affected.

  3. Josh says:

    They could have Jake and Alan take a road trip and have certain guest stars appear along the way.

    • Melinda says:

      Ooh! I like that one! That would be a riot!!

    • DAWoods says:

      Oh I LOVE that idea too! Tho I expect we all will be feeling Charlie’s withdrawl symtoms too along the way as I doubt they plan to do anything different. Tho I would LOVE to see an aged Charlie and what he becomes after say another 15-20 years of hard Charlie-style living… a wake up call for Sheen for sure!

  4. Lisa says:

    I think Rob Lowe would be a good choice. Similar age, gorgeous and probably able to sympathise with Charlie Sheen’s problems! I wouldn’t say no to a bit more Rob Lowe on tv!

    • John says:

      Then tune into him on Parks and Rec on Thursday nights, where he is absolutely hilarious and part of a killer ensemble as well.

  5. laura says:

    WHY IS CHARLIE SHEEN LEAVING? OMG, NO ONE WILL WATCH IT ANYMORE, HES THE REASON.

  6. the girl says:

    If we are being serious here (and we most certainly are NOT) then my vote totally goes to Andrew McCarthy. He’s cute, he’s funny in a self-serious kind of way, and most importantly he is already well versed in how to make fun of Jon Cryer. Second place vote to Ashton Kutcher – the thought alone is hilarious.

  7. CnSF says:

    How about they just cancel this awful show already? The comedies on NBC Thursday are far superior… I just don’t understand why people watch this stupid show anymore.

    • Amanda says:

      Just say Charlie is off composing music for a foreign commercial or something and let the rest of the cast finish out the season.

    • daniel says:

      Amen. The only CBS comedy on Monday worth my time is HIMYM.

      • RAGGEDT says:

        Agree, absolutely!! Though, that does raise the interesting idea of having Barney visit TAHM and become the new Lothario!! Yeah, yeah, never happen — but we’re not being serious here, anyway!!

    • Jules says:

      They won’t cancel it, because it consistently ranks in the top 10 in ratings. Even the reruns score high. CBS has a gold mine with this one… they will wait for Sheen to get himself together.

      They could simply have an earthquake destroy the home (or make it unsafe) and Have Allen and Jake move in with the mother… that would be fun and they could add some new characters..

      and they could say “Charlie” is hold up at the Chateau Marmont…

  8. Jenn Hillier says:

    Well, I think you are completely ruling out Judd Nelson. Alum as such things as The Breakfast Club and Suddenly Susan. He has a way of tickling the funny bone while not being too obvious about it. He’s played every role type possible over the years, even voice work. Come on, John Bender on the small screen. That would be awesome!

  9. Lana says:

    I have been a faithful (and very entertained) viewer of this show since the beginning…but put Bieber on it, and I’ll take up watching The Bachelor

  10. Tim says:

    Kermit the Frog is clearly the best choice

  11. Nate says:

    Seth Green is full of fail. Quite possibly the most obnoxious midget on the planet.

  12. skyfan says:

    Emilio Estevez – Charlie’s long-lost brother….

  13. j says:

    i think Nicholas Brendan would be the best for it!

  14. Arnas says:

    Rob Lowe would be good but he is not that funny as Charlie Sheen….Well what about Robert Knepper he wants to take a part in comedy series….So that could give him a chance….And i would suggest Bradley Whitford….

  15. Dale says:

    I think that they would do better to use woody harrelson, he was great in zombieland, and frankly he would be more entertaining then watching sheen play himself

  16. Karma says:

    Tommy Chong – the bad influence ya gotta love. Imagine him in a Malibu beach house, and interacting with straightlaced Alan, and with Jake and Berta. He could be an exasperated Evelyn’s brother & uncle to Charlie.

  17. Dee says:

    Judd Nelson and Andrew McCarthy as distant cousins who stop by for an extended vacation!

  18. EveDallas says:

    I am sorry guys, but I don’t see any of those people filling the void.
    I think Emilio would work out pretty well. Maybe the long lost brother story? It would be interesting. Or herb moving in temporarily with Alan. Maybe they separate or something?

  19. Brock says:

    I enjoy the supporting and co-stars much more than Charlie.

    I tune in for Berta, Alan, Herb, Jake and, of course, his mother (whose name escapes me, but I adore Holland Taylor).

    I do like the idea above about Herb moving in…. He and Judith should split. :)

  20. Pulpo says:

    Chris Rock should step in or Damon Wayans.
    Have them couchsurfing in the Harper´s house

  21. Ss says:

    Why not put them all on the show? I mean, it’s not like they’re gonna stay there. It’s just temporary so they could just change like every episode with a new character, like… uncle, old friend, doctor… I mean whatever.

  22. ron says:

    Molly Ringwald….a perfect fit … she cold play a aunt…..

  23. kylie says:

    props for the not one but TWO Buffy mentions :)

  24. Lori says:

    I think the show should do a few flashback and flash forward episodes in Charlie’s absence. Imagine the fun of casting Charlie (and Alan) as a teenager or a 20-something, and then as a 60-something and an 80-something!

  25. Cathy says:

    I would love to see an episode that’s a road trip; they could go pick up Charlie! Having said that, I can see Sheen leaving rehab if they decide to do the remaining eight episodes; after all, he won’t be getting paid for them. If there is a clause in his contract that says he gets paid for a minimum number of episodes, regardless of the circumstances, they probably wouldn’t want to go through it. CBS should have instituted a morals clause in his latest contract, one that included penalties if they had to stop production. I wonder what the insurance is on Charlie, and if that will cover any production costs, since he’s basically putting 300 people out of work until August, if then, if Sheen is able to return.

    • Jake says:

      Charlie Sheen would not have signed a contract with a morality clause in it. Don’t you think Warner Brothers or CBS didn’t think of that already? Think about it, Charlie Sheen – a drug addict for the last thirty or so years with a few years here and there sober – they knew what they were getting when they signed up for this. Also Chaim Levine (as Lorre called himself on his vanity card btw proving that Sheen is not racist) has made fun of Charlie countless times in those same vanity cards so the fact that he is being a little crybaby about this is so ridiculous. Grow up you infantile sap.

  26. Topkill says:

    Whoever they get, they need to just pull a straight up Aunt Viv with the character. Just a whole new actor in the role for the episodes he’s gone and then slide him right back in when he’s done with rehab.

  27. Tracey says:

    How about bringing Michael Clark Duncan back on the show. He was on the show before as a neighbor and he was hilarious then. Good luck to Charlie as he gets the help he needs.

  28. Bill says:

    What about David Arquette? He just got out of rehab.

  29. Nonya says:

    I like the idea of Molly Ringwald, but how about adding Ally Sheedy. It could be 3’s Company for awhile.

    • Daft says:

      Pick a Baldwin, any Baldwin. Whoever is available. Recognizable, familiar, etc.

      Write him out with a story line that Charlie found out he slept with a woman who used to be a man. Charlie is so freaked out he takes a vacation to a remote island paradise, where he falls in love with a woman and never comes back. There could still be very funny phone converations with Alan where Charlie’s voice is never heard and it’s just Alan reacting the all of the whacky things Charlie might say.

      I also like the 3’s Company concept. Bring back Candy. Candy and Rose move in with Alan. He could call them his goddesses.

  30. Ihatetwoandahalfmen says:

    You are all losers for even getting caught up in this crap. The show has sucked since about 2007 and the lead actor cant even keep his cars in his driveway none the less keep himself sober for more then 2 hours a day. How about this, send this so called comedy to the graveyard. God knows Charlie Sheen is liable to be fried permanently in a few years, Jon Cryer is a never was and The half a man is now one awkward looking teenager. NO one replace Charlie Sheen, just get the crap off the air.

  31. Geraldine says:

    I vote for Michael J. Fox. This guy is a genius and a wonderful comedy actor.

  32. RAGGEDT says:

    How come no one has suggested Michael Jordan? You know, he shows up as this celebrity pitchman whose annoyed that Charlie Harper keeps popping up in the middle of his underwear commercials…tries to get the Harpers to get Charlie under control — only to discover that he’s disappeared. Next several weeks are filled with the Harpers and MJ wondering what’s happened to Charlie!!

  33. I double-dog dare ya says:

    JAMES SPADER! Steff comes crawling to Duckie after all these years. PAYBACK!

  34. isolde says:

    JAMES SPADER! Steff comes crawling back to Duckie after all those years. PAYBACK!

  35. John Chill says:

    I REFUSE TO BELIEVE NO ONE CAME OUT WITH THIS NAME: ROBERT DOWNEY JR.

    COME ON, SERIOUSLY? HE’S PERFECT FOR THE JOB

    • amy says:

      Do you think there is any chance whatsoever that Downey would take a substitute TV gig? I don’t. He *might* take a premium regular gig, or a high-profile guest star appearance, but even that’s a stretch. While his movie career is red-hot, he’ll be there.

    • Josh says:

      ROBERT DOWNEY JR. PERFECT. I AGREE.

  36. Seeker says:

    The show is terrible. When Sheen leaves it should get the axe. But off that list I’d pick Brendon or Gree.

  37. hatts8 says:

    I think the show should be about Rose for a few weeks! thought the alan/herb roomie idea has plenty of potential. that said in spite of a talented cast and a man who writes BBT- thm doesn’t hold a candle to the other comedies around, seven years of a bachelor sleeping w/ hookers is seven year too many….

  38. Ashley says:

    How about Seth Rogen?

  39. amy says:

    Seth Green or Michael Clarke Duncan. Or just let the supporting actors have their time in the sun.

  40. Neptuny says:

    I’ve already coped with the fact that a lot of people in America seem to watch ‘Two and a Half Men.’ Can we not talk about it though?

  41. Anit says:

    My vote is for Mike Fox. The man is a legend, and had brilliant comic timing. You know… the show might even do better if he guest stars on it.

  42. Star2gazer says:

    How about Chelsea’s dad and his boyfriend??? Minus Chelsea please..Stacy Keach and John Amos?

  43. ranger99 says:

    The only person that could pull this off would be Gary Busey!

  44. Natalie :) says:

    I really think you guys have some good ideas. Let’s be honest though, it is a disease and I hope he does great in the future. It would seem that perhaps (by his radio interviews. . recent ones) that it will take more than a week in his home. First he might need to deal with his arrogance issues as they are in definitely in competition with his addiction issues. My mother and I were discussing the fact of replacements some time ago. Don’t get me wrong, we really liked Charlie, even with his problems, and all. But, when you start to think of his kids, his family and his co-stars. They didn’t ask for all of this BS. Mom and I thought that perhaps the guy that plays the part of the son-in-law on Reba would be a great character for the show if they could work him in somehow. The kid “Jake” and him would really be funny together. Whatever the solution, the producers need to do something to help all the co-stars and production staff out with their jobs and perhaps not see Sheen as a long-term item and further.

  45. SHELLEY HAYNES says:

    I agree w/ Arnas Rob Lowe but Ashton is an even better idea. How ’bout my favorite Matthew McConaughey? Or Ben Affleck??

  46. Gary says:

    How about Seann William Scott, who was Stiffler on American Pie? Other than being a bit young for the part, I think his demeanor would be a good match for the playboy with an attitude type, which Charlie and Stiffler have in common.

  47. Shirley B says:

    David Spade would be a good choice also.

  48. sharon says:

    I think “Denozo” from NCIS would be great but I would miss him on NCIS!

  49. Lynn says:

    They should do away with his character completely; have Alan come out of the closetand partner up with Herb!

  50. Debra says:

    I have some suggestions for a replacement for Charlie Sheen.

    Jason Bateman, Benjamin Bratt, James Spader, Donal Logue.

    Could be a friend won the house in a poker game, while Charlie goes off and finds himself. The only condition is that Alan, Jake and Berta can stay.

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