For better or worse, there is only one Charlie Sheen. So while the one and only one gets his act together — and by some accounts, it could take a while — we think the producers of Two and a Half Men should seriously consider bringing in a temp to fill that void and, just as importantly, keep their crew on the clock. But who? That is the question. Luckily, we have the answer… several answers, in fact. Consider, won’t you:
Michael J. Fox | When the erstwhile Alex P. Keaton bowed out of Spin City to deal with his Parkinson’s disease, Sheen stepped in as the series’ new lead. So wouldn’t it be fitting if, all these years later, Fox was there for Sheen in his hour of need?
Ashton Kutcher | Though No Strings Attached did well at the box office, were any of us ever as attached to Mr. Demi Moore as we were when he played Kelso on That ’70s Show? On the small screen, he’s appealingly larger-than-life.
Andrew McCarthy | What if for some reason — hey, we don’t write the show — Alan (Jon Cryer) happened to take in an old high school nemesis… one who insisted on calling him “Duckie”?
Seth Green | He’s an actor, a producer, a cartoon character… he was even a werewolf (before werewolves needed six-packs). Since there’s clearly nothing he can’t do — and make us laugh while he’s doing it — why not serve him this gig on a silver platter?
Justin Bieber | Remember how it ruined The Brady Bunch when mop-topped cousin Oliver joined the family? What if Jake (Angus T. Jones) just happens to also have a mop-topped cousin, only instead of wrecking the show, he just wrecks… well, his life? Could be fun, no?
Nicholas Brendan | No stranger to tough times, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum would be uniquely appreciative of what’s at stake in Sheen’s rehab. Plus, does anyone not miss “the Zeppo”? (Put your hand down, Cordy.)
Betty White | In a way, Miss Popularity almost has to replace Sheen during his recovery. Unless we’re mistaken, Two and a Half Men is one of only three TV shows in history on which she has yet to appear.
OK, your turn. Which of the above can you most easily see filling in for Charlie and “Charlie”? Or do you have a better idea, keeping in mind that both Sheen’s big brother and dad, Emilio Estevez and Martin Sheen, have already guested on the CBS hitcom?
You know where to stick your input… below!