Our latest picks for TV’s standout Quotes of the Week might not be as prestigious as tonight’s Oscars, but we’ll pretend they’re a close second.
In the list below, we’ve gathered more than 20 of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, we’ve got an unexpected description of the underworld from Ghosts, Gregory’s strict board game boundaries on Abbott Elementary, Ryan Wilder’s welcome return to the Arrowverse (via The Flash) and a Vanderpump Rules speech that somehow makes no sense and complete sense at the same time.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of The Winchesters (grade the finale), The Voice, Grey’s Anatomy and History of the World, Part II, plus quotable moments from American Idol, Young Sheldon, The Last of Us and more shows.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
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GHOSTS
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “Hell is mostly emails and Zooms that should have been emails.”
Elias (Matt Walsh) reveals that there is apparently Internet service in the underworld
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AMERICAN IDOL
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “Once you connect your head, your heart and your colon, you’re going to be a superstar.”
Does it even matter who Lionel Richie said this to? The point is, he said it
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SUPERNATURALTHE WINCHESTERS
Image Credit: The CW screenshot “Look at ’em. This is all kinds of weird, seeing Samuel with a full head of hair.”
Bobby (Jim Beaver) reacts to the sight of another Earth’s Samuel, John, Mary, etc.
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SUPERNATURALTHE WINCHESTERS (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: The CW screenshot “After this, it’s time to get around to the ‘there’ll be peace when you are done’ part of the song.”
Jack (Alexander Calvert) tells Dean to finish up his last case
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SHRINKING
Image Credit: Apple TV+ screenshot (2) “From now on, you go to school, you go to soccer practice, and then you come home. Nothing else.”
“What? I’m going to Japanese Breakfast next week!”
“Well, it looks like you’re going to have to eat it at home.”
“It’s a band, a—hole!”
“Well, with an ironic name like that, they must be fantastic!”
Jimmy (Jason Segel) mistakes the indie pop band for the most important meal of the day while grounding Alice (Lukita Maxwell)
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DAYS OF OUR LIVES
Image Credit: Peacock screenshot “You know, it’s been my experience that a marriage doesn’t survive when a man gets possessed by the Devil.”
This is exactly the kind of fatherly advice, delivered by Abe (James Reynolds) with a completely straight face, that one can only get in Salem
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ABBOTT ELEMENTARY
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “I love board games. I play almost anything. But I don’t f—k with Settlers of Catan.”
Gregory (Tyler James Williams) has strong feelings about board games
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THE VOICE
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “Even though he’s a threat, I’m feeling like a father/son type bond with Niall. Mostly because he disappoints me a lot.”
Blake Shelton, sizing up new coach Niall Horan
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THE VOICE (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “She just looked me in the eye and goes, ‘I love you.’ I’m like, ‘Really?’ She’s like, ‘No — Blake Shelton. Get his attention, please!'”
Rookie coach Chance the Rapper tells Blake about a memorable welcome from an audience member
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YOUNG SHELDON
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “Oh, my little pal… do I have to sing again?”
“Little? I’m towering over you.”
Dr. Sturgis (Wallace Shawn) still sees Sheldon (Iain Armitage) as a little kid
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THE CHALLENGE: WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
Image Credit: Paramount+ screenshot “I’ll keep my eyes open for people who have screwed me over in the past, and if they do me dirty again, they will have it served very cold. Is it hot or cold? Revenge is best served… [to producers] Can you Google it?”
KellyAnne Judd asks for a bit of help with landing her icy proverb
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THE FLASH
Image Credit: The CW screenshot “Girl, you’re nothing but me on a bad hair day.”
Ryan Wilder (Javicia Leslie) gives her Red Death doppelgänger a beatdown
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HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART II
Image Credit: Hulu screenshot “Make it snow now!”
“Naw, we still in the desert. I can’t do that.”
Mary (Zazie Beetz) realizes the limits of Jesus’ (Jay Ellis) miracle working
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HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART II (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: Hulu screenshot (2) “Whoa, whoa, whoa! When did you get engaged?”
“During the commercial break.”
“But what about the people with Hulu Plus? They’re living in a commercial-free world, they’re completely in the dark!”
“They chose their own ad experience, they’re capitalist sheep.”
Schmuck (Nick Kroll) and his wife Fanny (Pamela Adlon) get surprising news from their son
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SURVIVOR
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “Oh my God! Why are there so many pieces up here? Like, just put one! Oh, my… This is like a horror movie up here… like, a haunted house!”
The show’s Tribal Council set throws the colorful Carolyn Wiger for a loop
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STATION 19
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “Ugh. After today, I’m done with teenage boys. I’ll date grown men who don’t punch each other in the face and try to control me with their patriarchal BS!”
“You’re in for a rude awakening.”
After breaking up a fight between two high-school kids, Andy (Jaina Lee Ortiz) has bad news for the object of their affections
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VANDERPUMP RULES
Image Credit: Peacock screenshot “It’s like in Zoolander. You can’t blame Derek Zoolander for trying to kill the prime minister of Malaysia because it was Mugatu who brainwashed him. Raquel is Derek Zoolander, and Scheana is Mugatu, and she needs to be taken out.”
This is definitely Vanderpump Rules‘ version of Gretchen Wieners’ speech in Mean Girls about wanting to stab Caesar. And it’s fitting that Katie said it, because she’s a total Gretchen Wieners
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GREY'S ANATOMY
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “Party that bad?”
“No, I’m just bad at this.”
“At parties?”
“Yes. And people. I’m not even that drunk, so I’m also bad at alcohol?”
Levi (Jake Borelli) and traveling nurse Carlos (Calvin Seabrooks) have a meet-cute at the interns’ blowout
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GREY'S ANATOMY (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “The resentment — I’ve been sensing it on you for a while now, and I can smell it on you like cheap cologne.”
“Well, my cologne is cheap, so maybe it’s just that.”
The marriage of Bailey (Chandra Wilson) and Ben (Jason George) may now include a whiff of discontent
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BLUE BLOODS
Image Credit: Paramount+ screenshot “It’s very… clay-like.”
Danny (Donnie Wahlberg) watches the family dinner’s surprise entree, “Chicken and Penne a la Vodka a la Sean,” plop onto Dad’s plate
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NCIS: LOS ANGELES
Image Credit: Paramount+ screenshot “What do you see as the most important element in a venue?”
“Presentation.”
“Security. [Turning to Anna] You weren’t at Kensi and Deeks’ wedding.”
Let’s hope Callen (Chris O’Donnell) and Anna (Bar Paly) sort this out by Sunday, May 21 at 9/8c!
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THE LAST OF US
Image Credit: HBO screenshot “It’s OK, baby girl. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
Joel (Pedro Pascal) comforts Ellie, using the same term of endearment he used decades before with his own daughter
