Quotes Of The Week: Emily In Paris, South Park, Ted Lasso, Fargo And More

South Park was hit by the coronavirus pandemic, FX made a long-awaited return to Fargo, two presidential candidates had a chaotic first debate... and it all ended up in our latest Quotes of the Week collection.

With another seven days of TV in the books, we're looking back at the week's best dialogue, featuring a dozen bon mots and zingers from your favorite shows.

This time around, we've got a CNN journalist's memorable reaction to the Donald Trump/Joe Biden face-off, a Boys character who's in no mood to host a dinner party, South Park's insane explanation for how the global pandemic came to exist and a major Gossip Girl spoiler, courtesy of Emily in Paris. (Fair warning if you haven't finished binging Gossip Girl after eight years!)

Also featured in this week's roundup: a double dose of Ted Lasso's freshman finale (read our recap), plus sound bites from Bob's Burgers, Raised by Wolves, The Amber Ruffin Show and more.

Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!

"You used some high-minded language, I'm just going to say it like it is: That was a s—tshow."

CNN's Dana Bash one-ups Jake Tapper's "hot mess inside a dumpster fire inside a train wreck" while describing President Trump's first face-off with Joe Biden

"That is both an insult to shows and the other word that I can't say because this is CBS. And it's not exactly accurate, because at least after a 90-minute poop, you generally feel better."

"I'm just not good at that 'being responsible' stuff."

"You're good at some of that stuff! Didn't you reset our clock the other day, after the power went out?"

"That was you."

"Oh, right. You just wanted to not use that clock anymore."

Bob's (voiced by H. Jon Benjamin) lazy lifestyle should make even the worst procrastinators feel a little better about themselves

"OK, so if the Premier League is the best, then what's the league called right below it?"

"The Championship."

"Now, hold on a second! If you come in last place in the Premier League, you get to play in the Championship?"

"They also invented irony."

"Man, this town has got a weird way with words. I mean, come on, y'all, it's 2020. Let's just call them cigarettes."

Ted (Jason Sudeikis) continues to be baffled by British vernacular

"[Ties] ain't natural, all right? If God wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn't have invented numbers."

The AFC Richmond coach (Jason Sudeikis) doesn't believe in ties, but he does believe in a higher, female power

"Yeah, it's not good when you ask the president if he'll condemn white supremacy and the Jeopardy! music starts playing in his head while he thinks it over."

"I can't believe it was Dan."

"What?"

"Gossip Girl. We watched the entire series to find out it's Dan."

Legendary fashion designer Pierre Cadault (Jean-Christophe Bouvet) lets his disappointed inner Gossip Girl fanboy out after Emily makes an impassioned speech about being obsessed with the show's fashion

"Look, we can't let scientists find that bat. My wife is crazy. If she finds out I started the pandemic, she's gonna be a total bitch about it."

Randy (voiced by Trey Parker) stands in the way of science in order to hide his animalistic affair from his wife

"I triggered some kind of hidden program that allowed me to interact with our creator, in the now.... We communed in a virtual space, and while we did, information was downloaded into my drives. It was as if my sensors began to multiply.... It was extraordinarily pleasant."

Mother (Amanda Collin) tells Father of her ribald rendezvous

"You've got any bennies? Zoomers? A little chicken powder? You know, something to pick me up? I've had a world-class day."

Josto (Jason Schwartzman) needs a pharmacy's worth of drugs to cope with his father Donatello's grave illness

"Dinner's ready — [under her breath] a—holes."

Becca (Shantel VanSanten) isn't thrilled about hosting Homelander and his girlfriend, Stormfront

"Multiple 9-1-1 systems were temporarily down across the country on Monday, leaving residents unable to call the number. The problem was reported by a white woman next to a lemonade stand."