Quotes Of The Week For March 1, 2020

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from March 1 through March 7, 2020. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

EMPIRE

"Back off, Becky Weinstein."

Giselle (Nicole Ari Parker) scolds her Bossy Media cohort for sexually harassing the hot new guy in the office (who also happens to be Giselle's younger brother)

SCHITT'S CREEK

"Here's a fun thing: I just got dumped by a man who wears three MedicAlert bracelets."

Alexis (Annie Murphy), after being given the heave-ho by her much older rebound boyfriend

LEGO MASTERS

"This is what I know."

"It's about time."

Jermaine is glad to see Mel's aptitude for crafting actual buildings come into play (though just barely!)

SURVIVOR

"Dude, you guys have so much firewood!"

"No, you have no idea." 

Tyson, impressed at the wood pile on the Edge of Extinction, clueless to the grueling challenge and bajillion miles of hiking Natalie and the others endured to get it 

GOOD TROUBLE

"You know what, you're a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain." 

"How dare you use Doctor Who against me!"

Alex (Dustin Ingram) insults Sam (Max Cutler) with a geeky quote

GOOD GIRLS

"Well, it's actually much more common to get shanked. A shank's got a sharp edge, you know, like a scrap of metal from the license plate shop or the top of a can of baked beans, whereas a shiv is more like when you melt down a toothbrush or a bunch of Jolly Ranchers to a fine point, you know, it takes fire... it's just... it's a lot... more work."  

Annie (Mae Whitman), explaining the different ways one can get whacked in prison to a frightened Beth and Ruby

A MILLION LITTLE THINGS

"Uncle Gary, can Liam and I play Skee-Ball?"

"Knock yourself out, dude. Whoa — but not really. I'm self-employed and uninsured!"

Gary (James Roday) instantly rethinks his approval before sending Theo (Tristan Byon) and his friend Liam to play an arcade classic

NCIS: LOS ANGELES

"I understand there's a multi-agency investigation underway to try to discover how anyone intercepted our operational plans."

"Did you check the president's Twitter feed?"

Deeks (Eric Christian Olsen) knows POTUS can accomplish a lot in 280 characters

NCIS: LOS ANGELES (Bonus Quote!)

"Your family gives us a half-million dollars, or I cut off your head, live on the Internet."

"[Chuckles] You bet on the wrong girl, dude. I don't have any parents. And the best I can give you is, like, $800 and a few Whole Foods coupons."

Fatima (Medalion Rahimi) strikes a hard bargain

S.W.A.T.

"You really think he's our guy? Doesn't look like someone who gunned down three women an hour ago."

"To be fair, he doesn't seem like the 'Master of Seduction' type, either."

Street (Alex Russell), Hondo (Shemar Moore) et al. bring a "Casanova" seminar leader in for questioning

HAWAII FIVE-0

"There's millions of dollars of coins up here, and you don't know where it is?"

"Steve killed everybody, so there's nobody to ask."

"Because I was focused on saving our asses, not getting us booked on Antiques Roadshow."

Danny (Scott Caan) thinks Steve (Alex O'Loughlin) literally killed their chances for a windfall

THE ROOKIE

"I'll never get used to the smell of death."

"It's actually not that bad. But I kinda got a thing for armpits. The funkier, the better."

"I don't need to know that."

Nolan's son's fiancée, Abigail (Madeleine Coghlan), overshares

BLACK LIGHTNING

"Given the circumstances, I thought it'd be nice for us to have a home-cooked meal."

"You mean like The Last Supper?"

Jennifer (China Anne McClain) fuels up at Anissa and Grace's pre-War With Markovia dinner

DEVS

"Your era doesn't know s—t. All so f—king political. All so woke. But you don't know s—t about history, you don't know s—t about art, you don't know s—t about music. So you don't know s—t about politics. So you aren't woke. You're comatose."

Stewart (Stephen McKinley Henderson) has some thoughts about Lyndon and her generation

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AMERICAN IDOL

"You have a manager?"

"Well, actually... manager, agent, best friend."

"The 'best friend' thing will fade."

Luke Bryan nonchalantly warns auditioner Isaiah Grass of what success in the music industry could cost him