Quotes Of The Week For Dec. 1, 2019

We've rounded up the best TV quotes from Dec. 1 through Dec. 7, 2019. Scroll through our gallery of zingers, bon mots and one-liners below, then tell us if we missed any of your favorite lines from this week's television!

THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL (Episode 2)

"We are the whitest people in the world."

Susie (Alex Borstein) takes stock of her and Midge's minority status at a house party hosted by Shy Baldwin

THE MASKED SINGER

"I feel like I'm on drugs after seeing that."

"Right? That's just our show overall."

Guest judge Joel McHale and judge Jenny McCarthy discuss Fox's trippy set-up video

FULLER HOUSE (Episode 1)

"Legally, if three more people move in, we have to register as a commune."

Ramona (Soni Nicole Bringas) warns D.J. about letting any more people live in the Fuller/Tanner/Gibbler residence

YOUNG SHELDON

"I'm gonna go have a little chat with your mother."

"Seems unlikely. My mother's on Vulcan."

"My mom's on Valium!"

Billy (Wyatt McClure) discloses what's in Brenda's (Melissa Peterman) medicine cabinet to the Spock-obsessed Sheldon (Iain Armitage)

MAKING IT

"What got you started doing portraits with food?"

"Setting up all my painting stuff was just too much, and I had some, like, marinara in the fridge, and I was like, 'Well, I guess I'll try this!'"

"So... laziness."

Nick Offerman succinctly sums up Jessie's answer to Amy Poehler's question

SURVIVOR

"Don't look at pretty Dean! He just wants to, like, lure you in with his pretty face, but he's full of it!"

Noura, fighting for her life at Tribal Council

PROJECT RUNWAY

"Cristian! What do we do!" 

"Ugh, honey... throw that poncho away!" 

Christian Siriano, making contestant Alan Gonzalez regret asking for help

CASTLE ROCK

"You were at Marsten?"

"I already told you I was."

"How'd you get out?"

"I killed some people."

"How'd you get all the way over here?"

"I killed some more people!"

Well, we'll give Annie (Lizzy Caplan) this: She's unflinchingly honest!

PRODIGAL SON

"Ambition is not a dirty word. It's the best thing about me! [beat] That, and my hair."

Ainsley (Halston Sage) certainly knows her strengths

SINGLE PARENTS

"We go [to Yogurt Spot] every year after the winter recital. Who cares?"

"Rory does. For him, it's the fashion event of the season. He says what you wear to Yogurt Spot defines you for the rest of the year. It's his Oscars."

"No. The Emmys are my Oscars, Fashion Week is my Tonys and Yogurt Spot is my Met Gala!"

Poppy (Kimrie Lewis) tries — and fails — to understand how Rory (Devin Trey Campbell) ranks pop culture events

THE MANDALORIAN

"I can bring you in warm... or I can bring you in cold."

"[Seconds later, after blowing up his rival's ship] That's my line."

Mando (Pedro Pascal) doesn't like a copycat

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WATCHMEN

"Oh, Jesus. Please don't."

"Don't what...?"

"Talk me through your f—king plan."

Agent Blake (Jean Smart) begs Senator Keene to avoid an old trope

BLUE BLOODS

"Don't worry, there won't be any girls in your cell. Only men. Just the way you like it."

Baez (Marisa Ramirez) has "good" news for the murderous member of an elite men-only club

FULLER HOUSE (Episode 1 — Bonus Quote!)

"You guys really have to watch these home movies. They get pretty crazy towards the end. Aunt Michelle got amnesia."

Max (Elias Harger) tells Jackson and Ramona how he recently watched eight seasons years' worth of "carefully curated home movies" from before he was born

NCIS: LOS ANGELES

"She's staring directly into the security camera..."

"Maybe she can't help it. Same thing I do every time I walk into a Walmart."

"You shop at Walmart?"

"We should talk more."

Deeks (Eric Christian Olsen) has a thrifty side Kensi (Daniela Ruah) doesn't know about

THE ROOKIE

"Wow... The Maltese Falcon was shot here..."

"So was Cop Rock."

Lopez (Alyssa Diaz) doesn't share West's (Titus Makin Jr.) awe of Hollywood