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Drag Race All Stars' Pink Table Talk Challenge Results Have Us Seeing Red

Drag Race All Stars 6

Fellow RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 6 viewers, I must ask: What the frak is going on with the judging this season?

Fresh off last week’s puzzling Super Bowl halftime episode — which Trinity K. Bonet totally won, and I won’t hear otherwise — the show delivered another serving of misplaced praise, confusing critiques and mind-boggling results in Episode 5.

This week’s Red Table Talk-inspired challenge divided the nine remaining queens into teams of three for candid conversations about either body, motherhood or sex. As any longtime Drag Race viewer can tell you, it’s never a good sign when two queens fight over a role or topic in these challenges, so Ginger Minj and Scarlet Envy‘s tug-o-war over motherhood — which Scarlet won, thereby cursing herself — was basically a thinly veiled spoiler of the events to come.

Let’s start with Team Body: Jan was determined to prove that she can be a real live human, yet prevented herself from doing so at every possible turn. Whether she was screaming about accepting that she’s no longer a twink, or cutting Ginger off during an emotional retelling of her weight-related medical issues from childhood, she came off like a teenager talking to two adults, as was noted during a conversation in Untucked. Pandora Boxx added what she could to the conversation, but no amount of quips about getting botox could salvage this sinking ship.

The members of Team Motherhood, I thought, did a better job of connecting with one another. Scarlet told an inspiring story about her mom finding love with another woman later in life, which led Ra’Jah O’Hara to lament the strained relationship she has with her conservative mother, to which Kylie Sonique Love shared a powerful lesson she learned about not letting your hurt inner child make life decisions for your adult self. The conversation flowed naturally, and I was even digging Kylie’s NPR-ready moderator voice. Just saying, if she ever decides to start an ASMR channel, I’m subscribing.

But there was no doubt that Team Sex had this one in the bag. A’keria C. Davenport got extremely personal, explaining how she temporarily lived as a transgender woman; Trinity spoke some much-needed truths about living as an openly HIV-positive man in the year 2021; and Eureka tackled the concept of “chubby chasers” in the most Eureka way possible: “What’s this term ‘chubby chaser’? Bitch, I ain’t running nowhere!” Laughs were shared, tears were shed and all three of these queens walked away with something to think about.

Following this week’s “Clash of the Patterns” runway, Eureka, Trinity and A’keria were immediately sent to safety as the challenge’s winning team. So far, so good. But then Ru announced that this week’s top all star was none other than… Ginger?! The look of absolute shock on her face was deeply relatable.

This week’s bottom three queens turned out to be Jan, Kylie and Scarlet, a decision I’m still struggling to accept. I mean, Jan I understand — not only did she come across as robotic as ever during her team’s Pink Table Talk, but her all-lavender runway look also lacked any sense or elevation or inspiration.

But Scarlet, who looked absolutely stunning in a dress she sewed using her grandparents’ actual love letters from the damn 1940s? No, sir! I would even argue that Kylie didn’t belong in the bottom, though I’m not sure which queen I’d swap her with.

Following an epic fake-out from Bianca Del Rio, this week’s true lip sync assassin was revealed to be the eyes of Season 10 and All Stars 5, Mayhem Miller! I wasn’t sure what to expect from this battle, but I left satisfied. Lizzo’s “Phone” gave both queens a full story to tell, and I felt like Mayhem really pushed Ginger to go the extra mile. That little duck walk? An unexpected treat!

I fully agreed with Ru’s decision to award Ginger that sweet $30,000 tip, but I would have objected had I known that a full-on miscarriage of justice was about to unfold. “I thought a really long time about this, and there was just no other way that I could have made a decision where I would have been able to go to bed feeling OK at the end of the night,” Ginger said. “So I have chosen… Scarlet.”

Readers, I’m speechless. With all respect to Ms. Sport, was this not clearly Jan’s week to go? She had a full-on meltdown backstage because she doesn’t understand why the judges haven’t recognized the “funk” she’s been bringing this season, proving that she doesn’t actually understand what it is they’re asking of her. She’s getting lost in her own Jantasy and the time has come to cut her loose.

Tell me: Am I completely out of my mind, or was the wrong queen sent packing this week? Vote for the lipstick you would have chosen in our poll below, then drop a comment with your thoughts on Scarlet’s untimely departure.